Annoying Husband Drives me Mad!!

[Emicay]

Anyone out there got a husband who drives them mad?

My husband is hot and he's cold, he's yes and he's no, he's in and he's out, he's up and he's down, he's wrong when it's right, he's black when it's white, we fight we break up, we kiss we make up!! 😂😂 listen to that song and always think of me and him!

In all seriousness he drives me up the wall,

He thinks all the food in the house is his, if the kids eat something that he wanted he has a meltdown, he hides food even when I didn't buy it for him, which infuriates the kids.
He's rude and abrupt and doesn't care what people think of him.
He's arrogant with it and seems to think he's god, to the point he jokes 'gods home as he walks through the door'😡
He is affectionate on his terms, and sulks and slams doors if he doesn't get what he wants.
He creates an atmosphere in the house when he's home, so much so that the kids all hide in their rooms as soon as he comes home!!
He's bossy and gives them instructions...
I'm such a happy go lucky person but he's driving me mad. Life shouldn't be like this, always walking on egg shells scared of upsetting him. Help!!

There's a difference between annoying and being a total arsehole. Your DH is one of the latter. The only remedy for a total arsehole is to leave him. You shouldn't be living like that but he isn't going to change. Therefore, unless you want that for another 5, 10, 20 years, you should leave.

And you are with this narcissistic dick-head... why?????
Honestly?
What do you get from this relationship?
What do your DC get other than an awful lesson in how men behave and how they treat others.
Which is the worst example ever, judging by your OP.
How long have you been together?
How old are the DC?
Do you work?
Could you do this without him?

Any positives OP?
Although going by what you've said he sounds like a brat! No way would I live with a man who behaved that way.

That song is wrong for him.

He's cold, no, out, down, wrong, fighting. None of the positives.

What you have described is a total cunt.

You sound like you're addicted to drama and romanticising it (oh this song is like us?!) and have lost sight of what a good relationship is - which means sadly your kids are stuck with it too.

He has meltdowns over food?!

Leave him. It's the only answer.

Your children hide in their rooms from him?
Wtf? This isn't a case of being driven mad - you are completely mad if you stay with the bastard.

He isnt annoying. He is a twat.

Your kids would rather be in their room than around him becsuse he 5us such a twat.

He needs to go.

If you don't want the children to think that his behaviour is acceptable, then either pull him up on everything or leave him. IMO I wouldn't just leave him out of the blue, but tell him exactly where he is being a dick and then it's up to him to change or suffer the consequences of your exit.
My guess he wasn't like this when you first got together with him, so he MAY have the capacity to change. You owe it to your children to give him the chance to change. Good luck.

My sympathy op
You married a man child.


Had one - well rid.
Proper dh now!!

LTB

Did you grow up yourself seeing similar from your Dad, what did you learn about relationships when growing up? Did you also hide in your room as your children are now doing when "God" comes home?.

What do you get out of this relationship now?. Some needs of yours are being met here and you're a part of this overall dysfunctional and abusive dynamic as well.

Contacting Womens Aid on 0808 2000 247 would be of far more benefit than a Katy Perry song that you have used to dramatise and perhaps even minimise this abuse of you all.

Poor kids

Your poor kids. What are you and him teaching them about relationships here?

Annoying partner territory is leaving hair in the shower or bickering with you over a television programme. It's not what you describe. Are you honestly happy that your children are getting the message that this is what normal adult behaviour is?
Your dh sounds awful. Very spoilt for starters

You really don't have to live like this.

This could be my stbxp!!! He also hides food and secret eats in his bed. He is always right (and I mean, ALWAYS). He also creates an atmosphere in the home and I dread my DS1 having friends round because it puts me on edge as I don't know how he's going to be.
Not sure what advice to give you as he sounds like a complete arsehole to be frank. He carries on behaving like this because he gets away with it, and feels like top dog in his own home. He needs slapped down in my opinion.
Your husband clearly has no respect for anyone else in his home and is actually behaving like an oversized child.
You don't need to put up with this. Its a form of abusive.

OP, you write this almost as if you think it's funny, dear old him, hiding food and getting cross with the kids eating...well, anything.

It's not funny. It's not endearing. It's abuse. He is abusing your kids. And you. Nobody but a toddler or non-NT people are allowed to have 'meltdowns'over something as stupid as someone eating food they wanted. Unless he is three or non-NT (which would be a huge drip-feed), then he needs kicking to the curb and being told to learn how to treat real people.

It sounds a bit as though he thinks his family are supporting players in the story of his life. Or is a cunt.

My ex used to hide food because he thought I was greedy, I think. Why does yours?

My stbxp used to secretly eat in his bedroom because he used to always make snide comments when I was eating snacks!! mahoosive hypocrite in other words.....

He hide food cos he thinks it's his, and no one else has the right. If I buy a pack of 4 choc bars and there are 4 of us in the house if I have one and so do the kids he has a moan cos there is only one left, like they are all his... so if I buy a 4 pack of new choc bars and he sees them, he stashes them so the kids can't eat them.
I do think it's pathetic tbh and yes I laugh cos he's such a nob.

He is such hard work and I just have given up trying to please him cos I really don't give two shits if he's happy or not cos he doesn't care about whether me and he kids are!!

Yes it's taken me 10 years to realise actually this can't be right, but I'm not at a point where I can just up and leave him, I need a plan. In my heart I'm not happy, I mean who would be? He keeps nagging me to book a holiday and I keep putting it off cos I know what he's like on holiday. He has meltdowns on the plane about flying and it's like a weird act, almost seeking attention like a child. He then can't sit down, he won't chill out it'll be 'come on we are going for a walk today!' And if we don't want to, it'll be sulk walk off create atmosphere... talk to one child and be over friendly with that child and ignore me... as punishment for disobeying him lol.

Yes I'm laughing, cos it's stupid.

Yes I'm a fool, I know, I stick with him and put up with it, but he becomes the model husband for a week once I tell him what he's doing wrong so then I stay, and then once he's complacent he snaps back to being an arse again.... yes it's a cycle. A cycle I need to break.

I know I should leave, deep down, but I just feel trapped.

My greatest sympathies to you op! I know what its like and I felt like that for years. I felt trapped too but you're really not. A hundred people could tell you leaving is your best option but only you can reach that conclusion.
One day something will click and you will hopefully get shot of him.

No amount of him pretending to be the model husband would make me want to spend another second with this horrible nasty man, he's borderline abusive if not already; I pity your children.

My advice: get out now before he does them any more damage.

If you are not similar in personality then remove yourself from his association, why would you even want to be known as his partner, he sounds vile.

This is very selfish behaviour, did his parents make a big issue of food? I would consider my relationship with this kind of behaviour, having been through it and it got worse. Is he quite controlling in other ways and expect to get his own way all the time with no consideration of others needs or wants? It sounds from what has been said so far that the only person that matters is himself and if he does not get his own way it is the biggest injustice imaginable. From experience I would say there is little chance of them changing and look for a way out. However be prepared they will cause you of great selfishness and never caring about there needs etc if you leave, Im not sure if they can see it another way. You deserve better.

No he doesn't seem to consider anyone's needs it's as if he's not capable of empathy.

He does do nice things like buys me flowers, and when he's nice he's really nice (well actually maybe that's just what normal should be?)

It's not normal to be moody is it? It is normal to be nice though...

My kids are both so close to me, they are older teens now and are not his, but he treats them the same as he does his kids. I feel a bit bad cos they call him to me and I can see why they are calling him, cos he does himself no favours but they just ignore him and roll their eyes. They do also love him too, and have said in the past when I've had enough that they don't want us to split up. Well my youngest says that, I think my oldest would prob throw a party lol.

I feel so up and down, one min I'm thinking yeah he's ok, we can book a holiday now, next min I'm thinking and fantasising on going away without him!!

I don't know if I'm coming or going right now

"I know I should leave, deep down, but I just feel trapped".

I bet your children feel just as trapped as well. However, you have a choice re this man and they do not. What are they learning about relationships from the two of you. Which brings me to you - what did you learn about relationships when growing up

You keep yourself trapped by remaining with him. What you are describing here with him is the cycle of abuse and that is a continuous cycle.

Womens Aid are well worth contacting and they can and will help you here. You just have to put your big girl pants on and accept help because the first step to get out is often the hardest to take. Once that is overcome though it will get easier.