Annoying Husband Drives me Mad!!

[Emicay]

Anyone out there got a husband who drives them mad?

My husband is hot and he's cold, he's yes and he's no, he's in and he's out, he's up and he's down, he's wrong when it's right, he's black when it's white, we fight we break up, we kiss we make up!! 😂😂 listen to that song and always think of me and him!

In all seriousness he drives me up the wall,

He thinks all the food in the house is his, if the kids eat something that he wanted he has a meltdown, he hides food even when I didn't buy it for him, which infuriates the kids.
He's rude and abrupt and doesn't care what people think of him.
He's arrogant with it and seems to think he's god, to the point he jokes 'gods home as he walks through the door'😡
He is affectionate on his terms, and sulks and slams doors if he doesn't get what he wants.
He creates an atmosphere in the house when he's home, so much so that the kids all hide in their rooms as soon as he comes home!!
He's bossy and gives them instructions...
I'm such a happy go lucky person but he's driving me mad. Life shouldn't be like this, always walking on egg shells scared of upsetting him. Help!!

Your kids will say whatever they think you want to hear for fear of causing upset, there's enough upset in their life without them feeling guilty for despising him; you must be mad putting up with this crap from another human, you can't even have a holiday, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this joyless nasty person?

Why do you feel trapped?
Do you work?
Could you move out and be OK with finances?
Do you work?
What is the housing situation? i.e. mortgage? Renting? Equity?

No-one is 'trapped'. Unless of course you live in another country and have literally no money and nowhere to go.
I felt trapped as I had literally just bought a brand new house with my stbxp and we have 2 DC. I promised them we wouldn't have to move again and then within months I decided to end the horrible relationship. I had thought I was trapped because the house would never sell but, 2 weeks on the market and I have a buyer, he is moving out and the kids have taken it fairly well. I am now looking forward to my new life without him. All this, after years of thinking I was trapped and couldnt go through with it.

@Emicay. Yes, you need a plan.
You're quite right, it's not 'one bound, and you're free'.

But lots of us have done it, been scared and still found a way.

So, what does step one of your plan look like?

Cause, if you want to, leave and have your own life, there's support here for as long as you want.

Thank you people.

I am not sure what my plan looks like. I suppose I need to be honest and tell him I don't like him anymore! That's about how I feel, I don't like his personality, I don't like how he affects others, his rudeness, his superior attitude... this list can go on!

Then I'm sure this will go one of two ways,
Him being hurt and telling me he's sick of my incessant name calling and how he's a victim, or he will cry and beg for me to change my mind and bombard me with how much he loves me... I know this cos I've been here 10000 times before, and yes I ALWAYS give in, sandal up and ride out the next cycle.

I need to break the cycle.

I do work, my eldest works too and had agreed to contribute if need be. Financially I'm not too worried, it's just change I'm
Scared of, pathetic though it sounds. I'm actually terrified.

What's more important, your children's mental health ? Or you indulging yourself in your fear of change?

I think it's time for big girl knickers and very quick exit plan. Enough "lol". Time for action.

Don't talk to him about it, why would you? What good would that do? Just go. Fear of change is overcome by taking action, that's all there is to it.

Can you say any more about what scares you?

I suffer with severe sleep apnea and I wake most nights having very vivid dreams. My H helps me with that. Being alone at night and that happening terrifies me.

I also have rheumatoid arthritis and struggle with certain tasks and rely quite a lot on him to help.

My eldest has ADHD and does get quite volatile at times and he again helps defuse a lot of situations and I suppose I'm concerned about coping with all of the above on my own, holding down a job, running the house etc.

I know I need to 'put on my big girl pants' I just maybe need to believe in myself a bit more don't I