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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Anyone up? Please hold my hand

34 replies

Tiredofstruggling1 · 14/05/2017 00:56

I'm struggling.

OP posts:
always2ndbest · 14/05/2017 00:57

What's wrong....

Zoflorabore · 14/05/2017 00:58

Are you ok op? I'm listening if you need to talk Flowers

Gingerbreadmam · 14/05/2017 00:58

im here too!

Crapcrapcrap0 · 14/05/2017 00:59

I'm here to!

anxiousnow · 14/05/2017 01:00

What are you struggling with Tired, here to hold hand

Original poster
Tiredofstruggling1 · 14/05/2017 01:05

Thank you.

Separated from my DP and now living in separate places. I have a 1 year old baby.

I am feeling so alone.

OP posts:
Whywaitfortomorrow · 14/05/2017 01:13

I'm here too if you need to talk

Original poster
Tiredofstruggling1 · 14/05/2017 01:16

Just feeling desperately low and that I can't go on.

OP posts:
Lessthanaballpark · 14/05/2017 01:16

What you're feeling is so natural. Bringing up a baby in isolation is not an easy thing to do.

Do you have any mother / baby groups you could go to?

anxiousnow · 14/05/2017 01:20

Sorry you are feeling like that tired. You can go on. Your baby needs you. How long ago did you separate?

Lupinhere37 · 14/05/2017 01:21

Oh op, that must be so hard for you....I'm not surprised you're struggling. Give us some more information so that we can see if we can help. Do you help any help in real life? Family or friends to give you practical help and emotional support?

Original poster
Tiredofstruggling1 · 14/05/2017 01:27

I've got no family here and they are not supportive anyway. I have a few friends but no really close friends live here either.

I don't think I can keep going.

OP posts:
MakeLemonade · 14/05/2017 01:28

It sounds really tough but you can absolutely do this. It will get better, but it will take time, I promise you will be OK.

MakeLemonade · 14/05/2017 01:30

The samaritans are always there to chat on the phone or via email, you don't have to deal with this alone.

www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/samaritans-free-call-helpline-number-faqs

[email protected]

Agerbilatemycardigan · 14/05/2017 01:33

You can and you will OP. You've got more strength than you realise and you will survive. I'm older than you and have had many times when I was ready to give up, but I kept on going for my children and you will too. This too shall pass as a certain famous wizard once said 🙂

Lupinhere37 · 14/05/2017 01:38

You can do this; you really can. You will be amazed at the strength you can draw upon for your little one. Have you told your baby's father how you are feeling and would he step up if he knew?
Please call your health visitor and GP for an appt on Monday and tell them what you've told us. Ask the receptionist for an urgent appointment as it is urgent if you're feeling this low.
Do you have to stay living where you are or can you move any closer to any of your friends?

Original poster
Tiredofstruggling1 · 14/05/2017 01:43

I just feel like every day is a struggle.

OP posts:
Lessthanaballpark · 14/05/2017 01:43

The thing is OP I used to feel like you. I was separated with very little money and a baby in a series of flats that were crazy expensive.

It was so hard and sometimes it feels like you're a prisoner in your own home because your world feels so small and any contact with adults in the outside world is on a superficial level. Plus you're a mess of emotions you've never felt before.
That's certainly how it was for me.

But things got easier as DS got older, easier to manage and as I got the confidence to venture out again. Now, life is great.

Sometimes I look back on those days and wonder how I got through it.

But I did. And so will you. I promise. Flowers

anxiousnow · 14/05/2017 01:48

It is hard tired and can feel overwhelming but it will get better. If you baby is only one then assume the separation is recent. The pain of this will ease and things will become less of a struggle. There are lots of ways to make new friends with a baby. Please speak to your health visitor or gp Monday and use the samaritans as suggested above.

Original poster
Tiredofstruggling1 · 14/05/2017 01:51

lessthanaballpark that's exactly how I feel

OP posts:
RoseOfSharyn · 14/05/2017 01:54

OP, I'm also a single mum. I have 3 DC under 4. I'm not going to bore you with my story but I can honestly say I get it....

Please talk to us. Mumsnet has been the only thing that has kept me sane at certain points.

Flowers
Original poster
Tiredofstruggling1 · 14/05/2017 01:55

Thank you all for the kind words of support.

OP posts:
RoseOfSharyn · 14/05/2017 01:56

lessthan amazing comment! You summed up what my wine-addled brain could not articulate.

Lessthanaballpark · 14/05/2017 01:58

Tired at least you haven't done what I did because I was so desperate for some company - get back with the ex! It was a monumental disaster Blush Confused

mumsoftwins · 14/05/2017 02:08

My XH left me 8 days after my DSS were born after a Caesarian. My parents lived abroad and I lost a lot of friends during my pregnancy as friendships were built around going out etc. One night it got so bad I called an ambulance because one of the babies was crying and I couldn't get out of bed to reach him (at that point my sister came to stay, but we have a tough relationship)

I worked in a night shift job too so all my colleagues weren't around when I needed to call them as they'd be at work. I had no money either other than savings (not much) meant for a holiday after the babies (the irony).

It was tough. I had to go and actively seek help. I did what felt like the soul destroying thing and came on mumsnet and asked for help. I've now got 3 very close friends and also joined a support group through my GP.

I have really tough days. My XH left me for someone 8 years younger and she's now pregnant. He doesn't see the DSs much unless he's trying to impress her.

What I'm saying is... it gets easier; you get tougher. I promise!