Oh, bless you - wish I was round the corner - I would come round and help, and tell you daft stories, and cheer you up. You need contact. You need other people around you, to support you and help you enjoy your baby and feel that you are looked after and not alone and that this will all be ok, and is just a period of time. Things will get so much better, and your baby will grow up and will start to walk soon and talk and there will be so much joy in being the person there when all this happens.
I think you need to talk to someone about your isolated situation and think about what you can do to change it. I can't live on my own - I literally go mad. I need the comfort and warmth of others around me. And your little baby needs so much at the moment - but can also give you loads back. I think you need someone who can talk, though.
Would you think about moving to be nearer your family? Or sharing with a friend? Or going to groups and seeing more people? I feel worried about you and wish could give you a big hug : ( xx