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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My OH just said to me "least I'm not ugly"

53 replies

Scottishgymnast · 08/05/2017 19:11

Title says it all. He was sort of joking I suppose when he said it. I'm really quite shocked and didn't know what to say so just walked upstairs.

OP posts:
TheFaerieQueene · 08/05/2017 19:12

Well isn't he a delight. I would be shocked too. What a wanker.

Ledkr · 08/05/2017 19:13

"At least I'm not a massive cunt"would be my response op

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 08/05/2017 19:14

I hope you are up there bagging up his belongings. .

Bluntness100 · 08/05/2017 19:15

Usually that's in response to being called something what did you call him that prompted him to attack back? 🤔

Was it something like
" darling uou look tired"
"Least I'm not ugly"

Or was it more....

"You're a fat cunt"
"Least I'm not ugly"

FetchezLaVache · 08/05/2017 19:15

I don't think rude comments about anybody's personal appearance are ever justified, whether or not they are true (not saying it is!) and whether or not they are in jest. How long have you been with him, what prompted the comment and have there been any other attempts to erode your self-confidence?

DearMrDilkington · 08/05/2017 19:17

Depends what was said before he said that..

FATEdestiny · 08/05/2017 19:19

Ewww

What were you calling him?

Scottishgymnast · 08/05/2017 19:32

Yeah you're right context is important. I wasn't calling him anything though - I can't really remember the conversation as it was something completely normal. I think I was getting him to go and sit at the table whilst the DC finished their dinner so something like "go on help a bit and spend some time with your children, give this desert to the boys whilst I go and bring the washing in"

OP posts:
Scottishgymnast · 08/05/2017 19:33

We have been together 15 years. Relationship not great at the moment but what he said is a bit out of character which is why I am shocked.

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 08/05/2017 19:39

Wow seriously, I thought at least you must have called him fat or questioned his intelligence! Something like that from nowhere is pretty shocking. Will you have chance to talk to him after the kids are in bed?

FATEdestiny · 08/05/2017 19:44

OP: "go on help a bit and spend some time with your children, give this desert to the boys whilst I go and bring the washing in"

DH: "least I'm not ugly"

Sounds odd. There must be more going on.

I would certainly challenge him on it. Even in jest, this is not an acceptable thing to say.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 08/05/2017 19:48

I'm sorry but what you said, you said doesn't make sense. Why would he respond with at least I'm not ugly, because you asked him to do a few thinhd.

Emboo19 · 08/05/2017 19:48

I'm confused about the context.
Do you think he was implying you're ugly by saying at least he's not?
Or was it more like, at least I'm not ugly, as in I have that going for me.
Not sure I'm explaining it right Confused

fluentinsarcasm · 08/05/2017 19:53

Doesn't make sense in that context.
I bet you said something hurtful to him.

ProseccoBitch · 08/05/2017 19:56

The context makes no sense. Are you sure that's what happened?

TheAntiBoop · 08/05/2017 19:58

With the context it sounds like he was saying 'I'm obviously useless but at least I'm not ugly'

Scottishgymnast · 08/05/2017 19:59

He's now gone to walk the dog, when he gets back I'll talk to him. I just think I'm so shocked perhaps I'm not remembering it right.

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 08/05/2017 20:00

I bet you said something hurtful to him

I agree. From the context given so far, i wonder if his fathering skills were called into question.

No more guaranteed way to get a defensive responce than to criticise someone's parenting skills.

Still an awful thing to say. I'd expect an apology. If I'd also said something nasty, it would be a duel apology from both of us.

TheresARumblyInMyTumbly · 08/05/2017 20:01

Sorry op, that's bollocks. It doesn't make any sense.

BathroomOnTheBroom · 08/05/2017 20:03

Could he have meant 'you may think I'm being a crap dad, but at least I'm not ugly' speaking only for himself, rather than suggesting you are? If that's v out of character?

KarmaNoMore · 08/05/2017 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissionItsPossible · 08/05/2017 20:10

From such a small snapshot of a conversation where there's no hint of a build up it's difficult to reach a conclusion. If his response was to a comment from you like "You snore in bed really loudly sometimes" then he's out of order. If his response was to a comment from you like "You're a pathetic, useless, waste of space good for nothing low life slob who is going nowhere in life" then he isn't.

...Just saw your second post before posting mine. I think I was getting him to go and sit at the table whilst the DC finished their dinner so something like "go on help a bit and spend some time with your children, give this desert to the boys whilst I go and bring the washing in" And then he said "At least I'm not ugly"? That doesn't make sense. Why would anybody say that as a response as you didn't ask a question? Was anything else said between this?

Bluntness100 · 08/05/2017 20:47

That doesn't make sense.

"Can you sit at the table with the kids whilst I bring the washing in, give them this dessert"

"Least I'm not ugly"

If that was really the conversation I'd be shocked too, as it's weird.

Are you sure it wasn't more

"Sit at the table with your kids and give them dessert whilst I get the washing, you're a right lazy fucker"

"Least I'm not ugly"

"

Bluntness100 · 08/05/2017 20:51

I'm also not buying that you're just so shocked you can't remember the conversation and what you said less than 30 mins ago, 😂

Pitbull · 08/05/2017 20:54

This reply has been deleted

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