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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

online dating - nothing going on.why????

42 replies

furlinedsheepskinjacket · 05/04/2017 00:06

arghhhh

i've been on sites for about 4 weeks now

no action, hardly anything at all.one or two messages.

is this normal? am i expecting too much?

helllllllppppp

tia

OP posts:
Plentyoffishnets · 05/04/2017 00:20

What site(s) are you on fur-lined?
I personally really rate tinder. At least then you know you like each other without trawling through all the profiles, find someone you like, who then ignores you if you "wink" or message them!
There's an ongoing daying thread here in relationships which is great. It's full of people going through the highs and lows of on line dating, you should take a look

bullyhfc · 05/04/2017 00:20

have you sent any out?

OliviaBonas · 05/04/2017 00:31

I agree! Tinder is my fav too.

Original poster
furlinedsheepskinjacket · 05/04/2017 00:41

ok i might give tinder a go

yy i have sent messages out - i have seen that these people have then viewed my profile but nothing happens

i've tried a fairly local site, soulmates and match. in 3 weeks i have one poss meet up in the future but nothing else even close

OP posts:
Original poster
furlinedsheepskinjacket · 05/04/2017 00:42

should i be trawling?

OP posts:
Original poster
furlinedsheepskinjacket · 05/04/2017 00:42

more?

OP posts:
LesisMiserable · 05/04/2017 02:26

Tinder is brilliant. Be aware though you need to put your best foot forward photo wise, as it is first and foremost very much a looks thing...but after that...I met my DP on Tinder 2.5 years ago, getting wed in July. Tinder rules 😊

OliviaBonas · 05/04/2017 08:22

You need to be super resilient as the OLD world is brutal. Stick with it though.

Les what an inspiring story! Smile

PenguinDi · 05/04/2017 08:26

I vote plenty of fish I met my DP on there 2 years ago and getting married in September. It's avoiding the weirdos that was my annoying bit.

Mysterycat23 · 05/04/2017 08:27

Best photos possible. Avoid any negativity on your profile, keep it chatty and positive. Good luck!

Dieu · 05/04/2017 08:51

'Fresh meat' (sorry, horrible expression) usually get inundated with attention, for the first few weeks at least, so it's surprising that this hasn't happened.
Do you have more than one photo, and is it a nice smiley one? I'd perhaps get a friend to read over your profile too.
Good luck with it, and hope it picks up soon.

ShatnersWig · 05/04/2017 08:53

Head to the dating thread on here, best place for advice

Original poster
furlinedsheepskinjacket · 05/04/2017 09:09

thanks everyone :)

OP posts:
RestlessTraveller · 05/04/2017 09:21

I can only echo what everyone said about Tinder. Met my DP on there 2 years ago, wedding is this year.

pocketsaviour · 05/04/2017 09:26

Ask a good friend to look at your profile and be really brutal with you.
(Drink wine first.)

noego · 05/04/2017 09:27

try OKC

Original poster
furlinedsheepskinjacket · 05/04/2017 09:42

yay restless - thats lovely

i think i'm too old for okc - gulp :)

OP posts:
RestlessTraveller · 05/04/2017 09:44

Rubbish! How old are you?

Original poster
furlinedsheepskinjacket · 05/04/2017 09:48

oh maybe not - just checked
one i was def too old for maybe zoosk?

i'm 50

OP posts:
RestlessTraveller · 05/04/2017 09:55

Certainly not too old for OK Cupid, I had some lovely dates with guys around your age while I was on there.

The key to OLD for me was never to take anything too seriously. I went for dates with blokes I knew weren't going to be keepers just to keep me dating and knowing what to look out for. A bit like going to a job interview just for the experience. Never dinner though, just a coffee after work in the first instance, and always have a reason to leave, e.g. "well that was lovely but I must get back for the dog"

If you know you don't want to see them again then always send a quick message saying "Thank you I had a lovely time but I don't think we quite clicked, good luck in your search" This saves any embarrassment and hiding from your chosen site.

Original poster
furlinedsheepskinjacket · 05/04/2017 10:00

thanks restless - its so good to hear positive stuff.

OP posts:
Stormtreader · 05/04/2017 10:27

"I went for dates with blokes I knew weren't going to be keepers just to keep me dating and knowing what to look out for."

This comes up often on these threads and always confuses me - how can someone do that when they arent getting messages/replies?
Are you getting a message from someone, thinking "they literally tick none of the boxes of anything im looking for/have sent a really creepy letchy message but theyre the only message ive had so i guess i need to meet them?"

ocelot7 · 05/04/2017 10:45

Obv the OP shouldn't respond to creeps but its an interesting idea to date more to get more experience. But trust yr instincts - I cancelled some that didn't seem 'right'.

You have to put in some effort reading profiles & sending messages though the bit rate is low - 10 initial messages may lead to 1 meeting...and then you may not click :( I was older than OP when I started OLD btw

Good advice to have a friend check yr profile - my friend improved mine a lot by lightening the tone & I think it was some of her work that caught the attention of my now DP :)

ocelot7 · 05/04/2017 10:46

Hit rate

Stormtreader · 05/04/2017 11:02

Im not even getting 1 conversation of more than 1 reply in 10 messages, I'd LOVE to have a hit rate of 1 meeting per 10 messages :/