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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Has anyone ever found an affair has improved their marriage?

45 replies

Pauline345 · 22/03/2017 20:48

Because I have! Love DH a lot but sex was sporadic and duty rather than desire.
I hooked up with this guy online, we messaged, he declared his feelings, I resisted for a few months then gave in. This has gone on for a year.... and as a result everything at home has got better. Better sex, more caring, more fun.
We both agreed that we are happy with our spouses but love the frisson of the affair. There are no plans on either side to leave and the thing is complementary rather than replacing.

OP posts:
MrsKwazii · 22/03/2017 20:53

It may have improved how you view your marriage for you, but would your DH have the same opinion if he knew? You may have no plans to leave, your DH could leave if he found out. Lying and deceit doesn't improve relationships, it breaks them.

Pauline345 · 22/03/2017 20:54

I don't think he could claim that it had negatively affected it.

OP posts:
Pauline345 · 22/03/2017 20:55

But I take your point.

OP posts:
therootoftheroot · 22/03/2017 20:56

pauline-i don't for one minute believe you are a woman who thinks her affair has spiced up her marriage.

anyoldname76 · 22/03/2017 20:56

why dont you tell your husband about your affair and see if he's as happy as you are about it

DropDeadNed · 22/03/2017 20:57

If he finds out it will break his heart and he will think it was all a lie, replay everything you did together over the past year and wonder if it was him or you on a high from fucking your OM.

Neverknowing · 22/03/2017 20:59

Who are you really?

c3pu · 22/03/2017 20:59

If your DH was having an affair would you be this pleased at the wonders fucking someone else was doing for your marriage?

Nope.

khajiit13 · 22/03/2017 21:00

I doubt your husband would agree

Bones2017 · 22/03/2017 21:00

Tell him about your antics then see how much great sex you get from DH. Sheesh!

justdontevenfuckingstart · 22/03/2017 21:02

Yes marvellously. My marriage was over and we're now with other people and very happy.

Your opening post however is crap. Well done you.

Aderyn2016 · 22/03/2017 21:04

I think you are a troll. No one could really be as thick as you seem

Notwhatiexpected · 22/03/2017 21:05

Do you think maybe you are on a massive justification of your behaviour thing?

Other relationships can improve a marriage, I am talking honest polygamy etc, if everyone is happy and consenting.

But you say that you don't believe your OH could argue that it hasn't improved things, why not test that and tell him? Or are your thoughts/needs too much of a priority for you in this marriage?

PurpleDaisies · 22/03/2017 21:06
Hmm
PacificDogwod · 22/03/2017 21:07

Oh, wow, amazing!
What a brilliant idea!!
How is your husband enjoying his affair??

Hmm
c3pu · 22/03/2017 21:08

I forgot one of these:

Biscuit
Underthemoonlight · 22/03/2017 21:09
Biscuit
SuffolkBumkin · 22/03/2017 21:11

Sounds like something a ukpunter would say..........

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 22/03/2017 21:11

Interesting first post OP....Biscuit

BarbaraRoberts · 22/03/2017 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notmyrealname85 · 22/03/2017 21:14

Oh yeah DEFINITELY!! It shattered my spouse's confidence forever!! Star Star Star I gave him an std!!!! That lasts! My children despise me for the betrayal! They'll lose trust in future relationships cos they think their own parent is a massive skank!! Alllll our neighbours found out and my boss and now everyone at work thinks I'm a creep! I make their skin crawl!!

SilverBirchWithout · 22/03/2017 21:14

How would you feel if you discovered your DH was doing the same?
Maybe you should discuss it with him so he can improve the marriage for himself too.
HTH

Notmyrealname85 · 22/03/2017 21:16

But you know what they say... betrayal to everyone you know is sexy as hell!! Whatever gets you off, right? At any cost!! Go you!!!!

Can the trolls from that sad ass old man dusty skank punting site please leave our boards

Ashley madison didn't do you a lot of good. Well, unless you're a divorce lawyer :)

Notmyrealname85 · 22/03/2017 21:18

Interesting q... if someone is outed as a user of that site, could it affect their visitation rights?

Notwhatiexpected · 22/03/2017 21:20

Loving the responses! Can I pass another Biscuit