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Original poster

I wont take my bra off

41 replies

SammieSalmon · 11/02/2017 22:07

Im in a new relationship. Ds is 13 months old and my boobs havent been great since. Theyre saggyHmm
Anyway i dont like them so i wont take my bra off during sex. New man is starting to ask why hes never seen my boobs. How do i get over this?

OP posts:
Ouisophie · 11/02/2017 22:09

I don't know but I feel exactly the same. Have you told him how you feel?

MrsGsnow18 · 11/02/2017 22:13

I totally understand! I always prefer to keep bra on as it makes my boobs look way better! ( stops them flapping around Blush) I think DH prefers the push up bra effect too.
You could discuss this with him, I've never actually said to DH but I think he just knows I prefer bra on.

Original poster
SammieSalmon · 11/02/2017 22:16

I think he'll think its weird i go the gym so im toned its just my boobs

OP posts:
hugoagogo · 11/02/2017 22:17

I would tell him the truth, you need time to trust him.

Blazedandconfused · 11/02/2017 22:18

Mine are flat as pancakes Ayer breastfeeding 2. Ds2 now 12 months and I'm still losing weight and changing shape. Boobs now fit into pre baby bras and I've noticed that when I've been warning one which probably fits the best, boobs are ever so slightly perky. Would a decent fitting and a few new bras help with your confidence and maybe the actual shape of them?

Original poster
SammieSalmon · 11/02/2017 22:20

Probably blaze but at some point hes going to want to see my boobs

OP posts:
Eevee77 · 11/02/2017 22:29

I never took my bra off for the whole first year of a relationship Blush I told him I really disliked them and I wasn't comfortable. He got over it.
Not advice though but you're not alone.

Original poster
SammieSalmon · 11/02/2017 22:34

Thanks Evee hes lovely but would be shocked i feel this way

OP posts:
RaisinsAndApple · 11/02/2017 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mermaidinthesea · 11/02/2017 22:35

Mine were a mess post birth, spaniel ears that hung down to my waist. I got them done, there was no other option. Took me 10 years to save up the money though.
But yes just tell him. If he's a decent bloke he won't make a big deal of it.

Original poster
SammieSalmon · 11/02/2017 22:38

Ive only had one child as well lol

OP posts:
Original poster
SammieSalmon · 12/02/2017 12:53

Ok so I have some child free time and I'm seeing him tonight. Should I just tell him I hate my boobs and get it over with?

OP posts:
Chamonix1 · 12/02/2017 13:03

Just tell him. I don't think he'll mind OP- boobs are boobs to men and I'm sure they're not as bad as my big old saggy spaniel ears.
Next time he asks just say you don't like your boobs I'm sure he will disagree entirely.

frenchfancy · 12/02/2017 13:04

Yes. Definitely. I'm pretty sure he isn't with you just for your boobs and he isn't going to leave you because of them.

I know it's hard but you should be proud of them. They are that shape because your body did the most miraculous thing ever. We all have this image of the perfect boobs thanks to the media but the truth is none of us have a perfect body. I bet there are bits of him that aren't perfect but that doesn't stop you liking him.

cauliwobbles · 12/02/2017 13:10

I hate my boobs after 3 kids and 2 years of breastfeeding they're not my best asset.

I mooted a boob job as an idea to DH.

He said I could have one if I wanted but to be honest he's just thrilled to have a pair of boobs he can play with, big, small, saggy, pert, they're all lovely and you don't really care if you can have free access to them.

I think if you asked your new man he'd say exactly the same thing. A pair of boobs constantly cooped up in a bra during sex would be far more of a passion killer than and size/shape if free swinging boobs!

Huskylover1 · 12/02/2017 13:31

I think to most men, boobs are boobs. I'm sure he will be delighted with them! The only other thing I can think of, is to invest in some sexy lingerie (Ann Summers kind of stuff), so at least you're not just in a normal bra, iyswim. Maybe even see through, but with the support still being there.

MyheartbelongstoG · 12/02/2017 14:20

Meet your sister. I wear a vest top and we are both happy.

I don't snog so I know how you feel.

Thinkingofausername1 · 12/02/2017 16:46

Hi Hun I've only had one child too and feel similar to you. The gym has helped me feel better about it and I've noticed since I've not been before Christmas, I'm noticing they aren't feeling toned anymore.so must get back into the routine. Could you talk to him and say how you feel??

Dieu · 12/02/2017 16:52

Next time you have sex, go on top. Keep your bra on, but push your boobs out over the top of the cups. He will be able to see your boobs in their entirety, but they will still be pushed up from your bra. Does that make sense at all? Blush

Original poster
SammieSalmon · 13/02/2017 11:54

So last night i told him i hate my boobs and he told me not to be ridiculous. We had sex but i still left my bra on Blush i think it will take time

OP posts:
Ilovecaindingle · 13/02/2017 11:57

What about a cami top? Still covered but a bit more available to him??!!

Nomoreworkathome · 13/02/2017 12:05

In the nicest possible way I think you are drawing unnecessary attention to your boobs. I get how you feel but I suspect your new man probably wouldn't have even noticed if you hadn't said anything in the first place. Now he is likely to be looking very hard which may well make you feel even worse.

Original poster
SammieSalmon · 13/02/2017 12:14

I know but i cant take my bra off so hes asked why. I may aswell be honest.

OP posts:
NeedATrim · 13/02/2017 12:17

In my experience men like a pair of breasts that they can wiggle and jiggle and knead about. Like extra soft stress balls and the like. Your confidence is down about your top half but it sounds like he really doesn't criticise you even a fraction in the way you are criticising yourself.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 13/02/2017 12:18

Post dd1 BF my boobs were so awful, spaniels ears doesn't come close! I used to keep my bra on, and lift my boobs put of it so they looked really full and perky! Try it, it works Smile

They did recover after about 2 years, and have had 2 further DC since (one only in Dec) and both times they have been ok again after a few weeks (FF now instead of BF so maybe thats why?)

I'mstill planning on getting them done though, along with a tummy tuck for my mum tum!