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Relationships

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Original poster

Are all military, ex military men completely nuts

56 replies

Blueglass · 22/02/2007 13:04

My DH is ex mil and everybody i talk to who has had a h or p in the mil has had some sort of problems.

Mine is not all there either and we are having problems now.

Just not sure how to get around this

OP posts:

mum2sam · 22/02/2007 13:49

whats a h or p?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/02/2007 13:52

I would have thought husband or partner.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/02/2007 13:53

SSAFA can help families of service personal even if they are no longer in the military.

saltire · 22/02/2007 13:55

SSAFA can help, or RAF/Army/Navy benevolent funds.
Try those or can i suggest counselling, especially if he did Kosovo, Bosnia or the Gulf, either last time round or recently

Original poster

Blueglass · 22/02/2007 13:57

Not recently but there is that typical unsettled behaviour in him and just sheer weiredness.

Lots of people i know who have married military men have had very unsettled marriages

OP posts:

littlelapin · 22/02/2007 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Blueglass · 22/02/2007 14:02

I was a mil wife for a couple of years and the sights to be seen on camp were something else.

The cheating that went on was something else too.

Very feww marriages were happy from what i saw

OP posts:

littlelapin · 22/02/2007 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saltire · 22/02/2007 14:21

My friends DH was in Bosnia and Kosovo, he still has nightmares about what he saw. It can affect them years later. I also think it is a bit of a sweeping generalisation about all Forces marriages being unsettled

suedonim · 22/02/2007 15:26

Dh was in the Senior Service and we've been married over 30yrs. Only one of his comtemporaries has divorced afaik, and even he has been married a second time for many, many years.

Frizbe · 22/02/2007 15:30

Well two of my ex bf's were military and both of them went loop da loop when they came out......2nd one receiving lots of post traumatic stress therapy still......1st one ended up re joining ta, 9 years after leaving full time army as needed the lifestyle like a drug odd eh, I guess you either like it or you don't?

FluffyMummy123 · 22/02/2007 15:31

Message withdrawn

Sakura · 23/02/2007 01:08

Im from a "military" family, where a lot of uncles and cousins are in/ have been in the military. I can say, that these people are very aggressive behaving, and like shouting a lot and generally making their presence known. Its like they were important in the army, and cant stand being just another civillian on "civvy street". Im sure they suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. (Gulf, Faulklands(sp?) and Iraq) But I canT tell if they went in the army because they are like that, or if they are like that because they went in the army.They are all divorced. Of course you cant generalise, because many military families have great marriages, but this is what Ive seen

Califrau · 23/02/2007 01:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiredemma · 23/02/2007 07:27

Im on a mental health placement at the moment. Sadly, many of the men on my placement are ex forces- suffering from PTSD, severe depression and Gulf war syndrome.

Many are now single, living alone in either grotty council flats or worse hostels.

Bloody shame. Lovely men with horrific stories.

GinGirl · 23/02/2007 13:39

No, and I think its a sweeping generalisation to say otherwise.
My DH is ex-Air Force and isn't 'nuts'. Yes he's seen some things that civillians would never come across but those experiences have made him who he is today, a loving, loyal husband.
We have lots of forces friends, most of whom are happily married. Couples have problems, but everybody does, not just people with a military background.
xx

ura21 · 24/02/2007 20:39

now i hate to say this as it's another generalisaion, but i think (from my experience) that the army are worse, raf and navy guys i know are more stable. think army is more insitutionalised, and therefore those who leave are more lost without it. my dh is raf and totally lovely and well balanced!

SHOSHanniegetyourgun · 24/02/2007 20:46

Married to a very stable fantastic army guy and have a vERY happy marriage after being married to a wanker of a civvie, so goes both ways.

Skyler · 24/02/2007 20:49

My DH is RAF and he is lovely, gentle and kind. But he hasn't seen some of the horrors others have had to.

RubyRioja · 24/02/2007 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

northerner · 24/02/2007 20:50

My friends ex h is ex army and a total wanker. But then he could just be a wanker any way regardless of his profession.

Surfermum · 24/02/2007 21:01

My dh is ex navy, who fought in the Falklands, nearly died and was badly burnt.

Yes, he's been affected by his experiences and has been diagnosed with PTSD. But the only time I really notice any difference in him is around the anniversary of war and the sinking of his ship, if there's a sudden loud bang that he's not expecting, or something unexpectedly reminds him of what happened.

Other than that he's a lovely, stable, "normal" bloke and a fantastic Dad.

When you say "not all there" what do you mean?

Scootergirl · 24/02/2007 21:04

Most of them are just normal men who have to go through and see dreadful things - missing the births of their children and them growing up right up to the truly horrible things you see in conflict areas.
Some of them deal with it and some of them don't.
On a personal level, DH is the army atm and is still perfectly sane.... as far as I'm aware

Flossam · 24/02/2007 21:16

Not quite what I think the thread was getting at, but my father was in the navy and he is a prize case tosser.

mum2sam · 24/02/2007 21:22

my dp is in the navy and very much a family man-he cannot wait to get out.Being with someone in the forces does put a big strain on your relationship and when dp is away on ship he does go through a tough time being away from all those he loves. He dose say being on ship for such a long time makes him go a bit mad (wouldnt you) and he does have mood swings etc. However when hes at home his job is left behind and hes a loving family man.As for the reputation yeah there are men who cheat on their wives etc dp even tells me so but he stays away from that and hangs around with the guys who are happily married and cant wait to be home with their wives.He apreciates what he has and knows it takes a special women to be a forces wife (not many could do it) thats for sure. And in my opinion forces men can be very romantic.

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