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Original poster

Newborn baby and heroin addict brother?

48 replies

MissUnderstood91 · 28/11/2016 18:35

Really need some advice have posted before about my brother but I'm really fed up now. I'm being induced tomorrow and will be coming home to my mums me and baby. Health visitors will be visiting my mums address. My brother is sleeping on my mums sofa he is dirty he smells he goes in and out he takes his drugs and then comes back. He's constantly playing music loud and he makes a mess and never cleans up.
Me and my mum don't know what to do my dad has washed his hands with him and won't come and pick him up. He keeps pestering me and my mum for money were both stressed!!
I'm just so upset that I have to bring home my tiny baby to this. My mum is in tears because she feels like she is stuck with him.
He goes out and steals and my mum is worried about the police turning up at her address.
What is the right thing to do? I don't ever want to be involved in social services

OP posts:
GettingitwrongHauntingatnight · 28/11/2016 18:37

God, what a hard situation.Flowers I'm guessing you have no were else to go? Your mum should be putting your baby before your brother, she shoyld make him leave.😕

GettingitwrongHauntingatnight · 28/11/2016 18:38

Are you on the council housing list?

sotiredbutworthit · 28/11/2016 18:38

I'm sorry for you and your mum. My brother is very similar although I don't live at home anymore. I understand that your mum doesn't want to kick him out (he is still her son) but this is not a good environment for a baby. Either you or you brother need to move out. I don't imagine the health Visitor will be impressed that a drug addict is living in the same house as your child. Sorry. I really hope everything works out for you. Xxx

HariboFrenzy · 28/11/2016 18:38

I really don't think that your mum's is a suitable environment for you to be bringing a newborn home to, sorry, not with your brother there.

Original poster
MissUnderstood91 · 28/11/2016 18:40

I'm not moving into my new flat until January so im staying here for now. She wants him to leave but we're not sure on how to do it. We're absolutely sick to death of him we can't even relax anymore constantly on edge. He comes back at 2 in the morning constantly ringing the door bell until we get up and let him in.

OP posts:
Original poster
MissUnderstood91 · 28/11/2016 18:42

I will be private renting have paid my deposit and first months rent but wanted to wait until after Christmas as can't afford to furnish it until then. He has just turned up out the blue last week we thought he would be going again as he never stays.

OP posts:
OohhThatsMe · 28/11/2016 18:42

Could you call the police when he rings the doorbell at that time of night? What would happen if you told him you were going to call them? It would be good if the police could drive past. Does he have people he can stay with?

tribpot · 28/11/2016 18:44

I think your chances of a difficult encounter with SS are much higher if you don't tell them there's a drug addict living in the house where you are due to return. If your mum actually wants to do something, she could report him to the police.

You can't stay there if your mum can't/won't get him out. Can you stay with your dad? I think you need to talk to the council about the fact you're homeless.

Original poster
MissUnderstood91 · 28/11/2016 18:45

I'm not sure to be honest he has no where to stay. He was living with his girlfriend who also takes heroin but he hasn't gone back there usually inseparable.

OP posts:
Owllady · 28/11/2016 18:50

Have you tried the furniture bank? Our local one is brilliant for sorting ppl out in hardship x

ShouldIBuyOrShouldIGo · 28/11/2016 18:50

Are you saying you have a flat that you are paying rent on but its just not furnished Op? If so get on free cycle and kit it out woth basics and get out of there asap.

LIZS · 28/11/2016 18:54

How old are you? I think you may find ss will get involved if there is an addict living with you. Do you have you own room and somewhere for the baby to sleep. It will be a midwife calling initially.

SmallTownTwirl · 28/11/2016 18:55

I read your other thread and I think you should talk to the hospital and HVs in advance.

Let them know that YOU are concerned about this yourself. Don't let them discover it when they come to your house. I think you will seem more responsible for asking them for help with this one, rather than them coming over and discovering it.

You shouldn't have to worry about this right now Sad

Original poster
MissUnderstood91 · 28/11/2016 18:55

I've paid January's rent as it wasn't available until mid December as tenants are still there. So I said to leave it until January but that was before he came back.
I will have a look at them sites it's just frustrating as I have made the room at my mums nice for me and baby to move into.
Even if I did leave then my mum is stuck with him and he scares her.

OP posts:
Original poster
MissUnderstood91 · 28/11/2016 18:57

I'm 22 I have thought about doing that but don't want to draw attention to the situation. But maybe it is the right thing to do!

OP posts:
tribpot · 28/11/2016 18:57

Your mum is a grown-up, she can make her own decisions. You will have a newborn baby to care for, which is your priority. You do need to talk to the hospital staff about it.

DearMrDilkington · 28/11/2016 18:57

Can't you go stay with your dad until January?

OohhThatsMe · 28/11/2016 18:58

Is your mum prepared to call the police every time he comes, OP? It sounds like a really difficult situation and I don't blame you and your mum for being scared.

I'm with the PP who says if you tell the HV it'll be much better than if the HV discovers it.

Owllady · 28/11/2016 18:59

Do you know, it may not be a bad thing for ss to be involved if they help your mum a bit. Does she get any emotional support off voluntary organisations? But I think you need to move into your flat asap

F

Original poster
MissUnderstood91 · 28/11/2016 19:00

I can but I wanted to stay with my mum because I wanted her help with the baby this is my first baby so I have no clue! I don't have much support as it is and my dad won't really be there.
Just so fed up of this Sad

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 28/11/2016 19:00

Has he got a police crime record? I would raise it now with your midwife or even call SS for advice. If he has a record and in particular, if he has ever been violent then they may help you get him out of the house?

BumWad · 28/11/2016 19:00

Can your baby's dad help?

Original poster
MissUnderstood91 · 28/11/2016 19:07

Yup for stealing! I don't think he's meant to be around his daughter either without supervision but he still sees her without social services finding out. Baby's dad won't talk to me to loved up with his new gf.

OP posts:
LIZS · 28/11/2016 19:10

If he is legally not supposed to see his child then he probably shouldn't be with yours. What does your dm say as it is presumably her house. Can she keep him away until you leave?

blueskyinmarch · 28/11/2016 19:13

You and your DM need to be frank with home and tell him he needs to find his own place as you don't want to risk losing your child. If he doesn't move then speak to your midwife about your fears. She may need to report to SS but they would work with you to ensure the safety of your child.