Newborn baby and heroin addict brother?

[MissUnderstood91]

Really need some advice have posted before about my brother but I'm really fed up now. I'm being induced tomorrow and will be coming home to my mums me and baby. Health visitors will be visiting my mums address. My brother is sleeping on my mums sofa he is dirty he smells he goes in and out he takes his drugs and then comes back. He's constantly playing music loud and he makes a mess and never cleans up.
Me and my mum don't know what to do my dad has washed his hands with him and won't come and pick him up. He keeps pestering me and my mum for money were both stressed!!
I'm just so upset that I have to bring home my tiny baby to this. My mum is in tears because she feels like she is stuck with him.
He goes out and steals and my mum is worried about the police turning up at her address.
What is the right thing to do? I don't ever want to be involved in social services

She wants him to leave but my mum is a softie so not really sure about how to do this. Since I have lived here he has stolen of me my laptop and money.
We're thinking of just putting his things outside and ignoring him or is this too much?

I think you tell him that he needs to be gone before you come home with the baby and if he is not you will be packing up his belongings and leaving them in the garden for him.

It's not great, but it is only until January, i don't see you have much choice and there is, at least, an end to it.

Can you move into the flat earliet?

Get a lock on your bedroom door and keep it locked when you aren't there. Be with your baby at all times.

Sorry this is so hard for you op ?

Can he be reasoned with at all? My brother had addiction problems . Stolen etc but I know that he wouldn't have ever put me in a position like you are in he would have stayed somewhere else do you think you could ask him to? Am worried for you that social services will get involved

Ignore first question mark

You really need to get rid of your brother and no, putting his stuff outside and not letting him in is not harsh. Just lock the doors and disconnect the doorbell. Ring police if he makes a scene. Would your mum go through with it? Is there someone else you could ask to come and stay to make sure he goes and doesn't cause trouble?

I would be looking to move into the new place as quickly as possible. How empty is it? Is the landlord renting it part furnished or completely unfurnished?
I think you need to get yourself to a CAB/other advice centre/your MPS office and ask for help with:

1. Applying for hardship grant or similar from the council
2. Referral to local furniture project
3. Making an application for a charity grant. E.g: Buttle Trust, Glasspool etc..

You could speak to your midwife about the situation in the context of asking for a supporting letter. That way, the very first time that the issue is broached- the professionals involved can see you taking the initiative to resolve things. That will set the tone for their involvement.

Can you keep him out of the way when HV's and MW's visit? As long as baby is well-cared for by you and your mum surely everything else is none of their business?

The trouble is, the more the OP attempts to deceive the HV team, the worse it will look if/when they realise what the living situation is. Far better to be completely up front with them and show she actively wants to take whatever steps are deemed necessary to safeguard the baby.

It may be worth asking to be put in temporary accommodation until January. They have to find something for you. Your mum can still support you by popping in.

I agree with tribpot.

Asking for help because yo7 know the situayion poses a risk is going to make you look responsible.

Attempting to m8nimise it will look like op is in denial about the seriousness and the risk.

I understand you want your mum's help but if there is an alternative (your dad's?) then you can't and must take your baby to your mums with your brother in residence.

You need to put your baby first here.

Have you begged your dad to take him in until January? For your sake?

My mum has told him he needs to go and he has said why don't you want me here I use to live at home with you before. He's currently playing music full blast! So no relaxing evening for me before I get induced tomorrow. My dad is coming to the hospital tomorrow to see me so I will beg him so hopefully he is gone before me and baby get home. Otherwise we will have to be tough and just tell him to leave. Can you believe he asked me to buy some weed so we can get"stoned" together tonight. When I've never touched a drug before in my life

Hey OP,

Sorry to read about your situation, I couldn't help but notice that you said your ex won't talk to you?

I'm 20 weeks & in the same situation, my ex is now seeing someone else & will NOT make any contact at all.

I'm sorry to ask about someone other than what you have posted about, I just wanted to find out how you are coping with the fact he's cut you out? As I'm struggling with everything!

This is my first ever .

Hey!
Nope he hasn't spoke to me since he met his new girlfriend two weeks after we broke up. Surprisingly I have been ok and have just managed to get on with things even though it has been super difficult. Having good friends and a supportive family has made it a 100 times easier. But my heart still breaks every time I see a photo of him and his new girlfriend together. Sounds stupid but i still hope that he changes his mind and comes back one day but I know that won't happen.
I'm hoping all the pain and hurt I've felt over these past months go away once I meet my little boy. Wish you the best of luck! Don't torture yourself looking at his Facebook and things it makes things really hard and that's what I did.
Xx

I've not posted on your posts before OP but I have seen them and I'm sorry your going through this. felt I wanted to say something because of the following

Glitterasseye - no need for that, if you suspect a thread, report it don't knock people with a biscuit who are looking for help and support.

Thanks for that!
I honestly feel the exact same, I am honestly praying as soon as I see my baby boy in 4 months that il suddenly forget about all the hurt his selfish father caused me!

I've blocked him from everything I can possibly think of & only contacted to send scan pictures however he's not replied even when I've asked him to.

I think like you, I hope that maybe it won't work out with the new gf & he'll come back to me just before the baby is born so we can be a proper family but 1, I'd look like a prick considering how much I've cried over him! & 2, I'd hope that by the time I'm due to give birth, I won't give a crap about him!

Good luck though! I'm sorry you are going through this too.....it's absolutely heartbreaking especially whilst pregnant. Xx

I think the biscuit was for notmyweek 'hijacking' the thread about her own ex & her own problems (and I guess the secondary subject to the traumatic Living arrangement OP may be facing with a newborn) Perhaps I'm wrong?

Grown women sending emoji's of biscuits??

It's funny how most women on here just want it to be all about them!

OP didn't have an issue as she'd have either stated it or not replied!

I think a lot of women on this forum need to get a VERY right handle on their lives & grow up, considering most have children, it's embarrassing!