Advice

[Louise0087]

Going through rough time, on off for 3 months during this time OH left and got someone pregnant, strained our relationship. I decided maybe it could work?
We have a beautiful 14 month old son. 4 days ago OH left once again over a petty argument and said it was for the best bla bla bla.. He's been here everyday for a few hours just won't stay here.. I have no family or nothing to turn to. I'm so down in the dumps as soon as the baby goes to sleep.. I don't need trolls to say I was silly for letting him back when he's got someone else pregnant, but I do genuinely love him.

Change the locks. I'm sure your mum would pay

Excuses.

I'm with the council. He's not on my lease he's souls Tennant could I get them changed?

I'm sure you can, do they have a key? Because you could give them the new one. Ring your council in the morning

My mum had a whole new front door on her council flat she paid for so I can't see it Being an issue tbh

They don't have my keys they gave them all to me, I will call them tomorrow and ask :)

He called the shots yet he's always on my phone asking if I'm speaking to anyone new and I think I just need to nip it in the bud.

Ugh what a charmer. Your family is right, OP. Kick him out, never let him back in, you can do it :-)

Stop replying to his messages. Give him a day he can see DS and make it clear things have to change

Just stop accommodating this asshole. He's walked out on you ..twice! He doesn't get to call the shots or have you at his beck and call. Just stop.
Don't cook for him, don't do his laundry and for gods sake stop giving him money! Isn't he meant to be giving you money for his son?

Thanks it just seems so hard but I'm here upset with the baby while he's Scott free calling when he wants leaves because he wants to if I say stay for another cuppa he's like no I'm off

You're letting him call whenever he wants though.

I am cringing for you. At whose hand did you learn to debase yourself so thoroughly ?

We've never seen a penny he takes takes takes I'll be honest and I know I'm stupid but I still do it.

Iv always been the same, I'll give to those who mean something to me even if I don't see it back it doesn't matter. All I know is at least u tried and helped

Stop it then. He doesn't have a gun to your head.

Then stop it. He's treating how you've allowed him.
Go through the proper channels to get maintenance, although I'm not sure how useful that's going to be. Does he pay for his other offspring?

This isn't normal generosity - you could plow this into charity or people who actually deserve it rather than a man boy who can't be bothered.

Stop listening to him. In fact stop listening to your own judgement, because you are so far clouded to obey him, that you dont have a clear opinion of your own

Listen to your family. They do not like him for good reason. He did the dirty and got someone else pregnant, and is playing a massive game of 'who wants me more?'

Yeah I get what everyone's saying. In a nutshell I have myself to blame I do see it. But I just don't know how to say no it's not in me !

My family don't know what he's done he didn't want me to tell them

Of course he didn't.

Pitiful.

Have you any good female friends ? Sounds like you need some.

So it's not in you to say no to this man..what's your option then? Just let him mug you off indefinitely until he finds some other poor fool to do his laundry?

In the kindest possible way. Put some big girl pants on, tell your actual family who properly care for you what he has done and ask them for help to show this manchild the door.