Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Oh kissing and flirting

35 replies

Lmg1986 · 27/10/2016 11:32

Hi all
I'm really angry and confused in what I should do!! Basically me,my oh and kids went to a party we both had a drink and everything was going reallly well until oh kept kissing one o the other women there!! I pulled him away and he told me to f* off I left him alone then went back a second time and told him to stop anyways just before we went home he was dancing very flirtatiously with this woman and in the end I dragged him out and we went home but as soon as we got in the house he started swearing and shouting at me in which I told him to leave me a lone and we will talk about it in the morning!! (I went to bed and let him carry on screaming at himself) the next morning he heard my little one ask why he was slamming the doors and shouting in which his reply was I can't remember a thing I'm so upset I screamed at him and asked how he would feel if I did this with his friends he didn't answer and refuse to talk about it yet I know he does remember as I told him he goes out with his single friends and comes home worse than he did that night!!! Now I can't trust him and am thinking does he do stuff wen he is out with his friends cos they won't say anything to me!!! What do I do and how do I tell him I don't trust him anymore

OP posts:
Simonneilsbeard · 27/10/2016 11:37

Op firstly I'm sorry you had to witness that. Secondly of course he remembers what he did, he simply doesn't want to have to have a discussion with you about his shitty behaviour! He can't be assed, he doesn't want to hear it because he knows he behaved appallingly and he doesn't even care. He did it right in front of your face..he has nothing but contempt for you.
I would LTB ..sorry x

Original poster
Lmg1986 · 27/10/2016 11:43

We have been married 12 year I have never seen him like this nor as he ever been an arse wen drunk before it's just a so out of the ordinary for me!!! Just makes me think now what has he been doing every time he has gone out on his own this has truly gutted me!! I have told him there is no excuse for what he did but this was with a girl who Tbf is a dog and has a shitty attitude!! All he says wen I approach the subject I know I was a *k but I don't want to talk about it!! But I do I want to know why he would risk a 12 yr marriage on a little tart!! 😡😢

OP posts:
LittleTripToHeaven · 27/10/2016 11:43

Wow. I'd have taken the children and left him there!

Yes, I'd also assume that's how he behaves when he goes out without you

Original poster
Lmg1986 · 27/10/2016 11:44

This is wat I'm thinking I'm just so angry I can't even look at him 😡

OP posts:
LittleTripToHeaven · 27/10/2016 11:45

She wasn't a "little tart". Nor was she a "dog". She was a woman your partner kissed all night.

Save your anger and name calling for him.

notapizzaeater · 27/10/2016 11:46

I'd be packing his bags until,he realises he's massively in the wrong and then decide from there

LittleDittyAbout · 27/10/2016 11:47

She's a "dog" and a "tart"? I think your anger is misplaced.

LittleTripToHeaven · 27/10/2016 11:47

This would be enough for me to end it tbh. I ended my marriage over less.

Original poster
Lmg1986 · 27/10/2016 11:47

No she was honestly she is also a family member who really should have known better too I am angry at them both!! Thing is this is how she acts and he knows she does this at every family get together and still did it I also think her hubby is a twat for letting her do it too I hate them both ATM if I'm honest

OP posts:
ageingrunner · 27/10/2016 11:50

Sounds like it's him that's the tart op! Sorry he behaved like that. I'm not surprised you're worried about what he does behind your back if this is what he does when you're there Shock

Original poster
Lmg1986 · 27/10/2016 11:52

i just don't know what to do I'm scared becos if it was just me I would of kicked his arse and thrown him out but I have to think of my children not myself and how it would effect them

OP posts:
Simonneilsbeard · 27/10/2016 11:56

You're taking your anger out on the wrong person ..your husband is the dog for behaving like that in front of your and your children ..get some perspective! This woman owes you nothing! Your husband is one who betrayed you

AyeAmarok · 27/10/2016 11:57

Your husband, who has made a commitment to you to be faithful, spent the night kissing someone else in front of you, and carried on even when you told him to stop. And then got angry that you had dragged him away from her to go home.

And yet she's getting your ire?

You need to direct your anger towards him.

mumofthemonsters808 · 27/10/2016 12:00

When you say kissing, what are we talking about ?, snogging with arms around each other or a peck on the cheek ?.

adora1 · 27/10/2016 12:02

Funny how you are happy to throw really bad insults her way but not his, he's also an arsehole OP and a tart as you put it.

If he does in front of you yes I'd pretty much assume when you are not there, anything is ok, there's no limit.

What a disgrace and embarrassment for you, you should be kicking his ass out the door.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 27/10/2016 12:04

Kick him out. He couldn't even stop himself when you were in the same room! Imagine what he gets up to when you're not there.
No way could I live with somebody I couldn't trust.

The kids will grow up respecting somebody who doesn't get shit on from a great height.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 27/10/2016 12:05

What I mean is it will effect the kids more if you stay with a disrespectful sleazy bastard. They need to know you won't stand up for that shit.

DelphiniumBlue · 27/10/2016 12:10

How horrible for you.
I'd be making plans for a separation,.he has no respect for you or the DC - to behave like that, at a family party ....how mortifying!
I don't believe that he doesn't remember what happened, that's too convenient. Unless he's an alcoholic, and even then its still no way to behave.
The whole thing sounds too Jeremy Kyle for words- for me there d be no getting past the incident or his subsequent pathetic behaviour.

Offred · 27/10/2016 12:16

how do I tell him I don't trust him anymore?

Errr... why on earth does he need to be TOLD that?!

It is horrendous to call her a dog and a tart... horrendous...

If that was me the children and I would be straight home and the doors would be bolted with his clothes on the porch by the time he came home. I would never speak to him again and certainly wouldn't worry about bothering to tell him the trust was broken or asking him what he thought he was doing.

Offred · 27/10/2016 12:20

Him being a dad to his children will not change if your relationship ends. Having dc who were present to witness his horrendous behaviour makes it even more important you show them what is acceptable/unacceptable behaviour from a husband otherwise they will end up in relationships with abusive disrespectful sexually incontinent wankers too.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 27/10/2016 12:20

He also appears to have done this in front of the kids, unless I'm reading it wrong?

Crystal15 · 27/10/2016 12:23

Yep your wrong to insult the object of his flirting etc. He's the tart. It sounds like you almost want to excuse his behaviour. If my DH did that to me, infront of our children... He would be kicked to the curb. Your poor children witnessing that, there's no excuse and if he's doing that after a drink in front of you I dread to think what he's done behind your back. No remorse too. Says it all. You deserve better op.

Tarttlet · 27/10/2016 12:28

Oh Christ, just leave him. That's really disgusting behaviour.

LittleTripToHeaven · 27/10/2016 12:45

How do you tell him you don't trust him anymore?

How about the words, "Fuck off. I don't trust you anymore you fucking dirty cheating bastard. I deserve better than you. And the children deserve better than to see you do that. So fuck off"

whattodowiththepoo · 27/10/2016 13:01

What do you mean by "kissing"? Snogging? kiss on the cheek? Peck on the lips? And how many times did it happen?
I can't quite comprehend someone cheating in public at a party with the OH in attendance as well.