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Original poster

Spy app help

28 replies

imAbeardedLady · 23/10/2016 21:55

Hi
Asking on behalf of a friend.
Please don't tell me she shouldn't be spying, blah blah blah
She knows her husband is cheating. He is denying. She needs hard evidence
Any good advice? Any good app recommendations ?
TIA

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 23/10/2016 21:56

Does she want something for the house or for his car?

Original poster
imAbeardedLady · 23/10/2016 21:57

Both.... she thinks he has a 2nd phone so car would be good

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 23/10/2016 22:01

The trouble is that if he's just texting in the car, then a voice recorder wouldn't pick it up. It depends on how much access she has to his car, too. If they share the car, that's a lot easier.

Hotwaterbottle1 · 23/10/2016 22:03

She does know it's a criminal offence? My stbex has been tracking me & Ive never felt so violated. It's made me feel quite sick. If it was not for the kids I'd have called the police on him.

Original poster
imAbeardedLady · 23/10/2016 22:04

To she can get in his car easily. What would she need?

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 23/10/2016 22:34

I think you need to tell them to stop, before they break the law & to work on their anxiety

Original poster
imAbeardedLady · 23/10/2016 23:03

Thanks Nazeing very helpful

OP posts:
PinkiePiesCupcakes · 23/10/2016 23:08

You do know that Ahem 'your friend' doesn't Sneed proof to end a Relationship right? He could stand up, walk out the door, never look back, with no reasons whatsoever.

No need to go to extreme and illegal lengths, just walk out the front door.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/10/2016 23:10

Why bother? She knows he's cheating so why not just leave while she has some dignity? Spying is pathetic. Stay or leave but don't go to all that hassle first!

Meadows76 · 23/10/2016 23:11

Fuck, do people actually do shit like this Confused if her relationship is at the stage where she feels the need to spy then she should jus end it. It isn't working.

magoria · 23/10/2016 23:17

Why not just end the relationship?

if it has got to this stage, she doesn't need evidence she can just end things. Assuming in the UK it doesn't affect division of assets.

garlicandsapphire · 23/10/2016 23:17

Agree wholeheartedly. Move on and spend the time and energy on having a better life - lived for themselves. Bitter shit will not help. And yes I know because I've been married to a lying, cheating sleazebag. The best revenge is dumping them and going off and having a new and better life. Since there is no blame divorce it would make no difference whatsoever to the outcome except to your friend's dignity.

LIttleTripToHeaven · 23/10/2016 23:20

I agree, if you're at the point of feeling like you need to spy, then just end it.

What is the proof for? You don't need proof of anything to end a relationship.

Original poster
imAbeardedLady · 24/10/2016 02:14

You do need proof, of all sorts of things when your husband makes out you are crazy and gaslights you whenever you try to get him to admit to cheating.
You do need proffered when he is using family money to keep his ow, buy her a house amongst other things
You do need proof when all the marital assetc have been cleverly tied up within his business so you don't actually own your own home, it belongs to the business.....
Trust me, she needs fucking proof or she will be screwed financially when she leaves. She has 5 children ffs. He is very clever unfortunately

OP posts:
ComedyBoobs · 24/10/2016 02:30

She needs a solicitor, not spy apps.

ComedyBoobs · 24/10/2016 02:32

She needs a solicitor, not spy apps.

LIttleTripToHeaven · 24/10/2016 07:11

You don't need proof of any of that. You need a solicitor and a financial order. She could prove he has fucked every woman in a 35 mile radius and it would make absolutely no difference to the financial outcome of the divorce.

Why does she think it would?

LIttleTripToHeaven · 24/10/2016 07:12

The reasons for divorce are only there to justify it taking place prior to a 2 year separation. It has absolutely no bearing on the actual divorce or financial order etc.

LovePGtipsMonkey · 24/10/2016 07:31

with five dc she is entitled to a LOT financially - and the house (he would need to sell it as one of his business assets if it's tied up in business). Once the lawyers are involved it's criminal offense for him to hide assets.

NerrSnerr · 24/10/2016 07:35

I agree with the others she needs a solicitor not a spy app. Will the 'proof' even be allowed to be used in a divorce if it was obtained illegally? I'm not sure.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 24/10/2016 07:35

As Pp said, it doesn't matter who he's fucked or how many times - there is no need to prove stuff like that and she's straying into dodgy territory as he could well make counter allegations against her.

Your 'friend' is fairly obviously you. Go and speak to a solicitor, rather than wasting your time on spy apps etc

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 24/10/2016 07:39

I think you need to tell them to stop, before they break the law

This.

Not sure what good it would do anyway.

It certainly wouldn't help in any financial settlement and you don't need to 'proove' anything to end a marriage.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 24/10/2016 07:44

Plus any 'evidence' wouldn't be admissible anyway so it's a waste of time.

JennyOnAPlate · 24/10/2016 07:49

The evidence wouldn't count for anything in a legal sense. I agree that your friend needs to forget spying and see a solicitor.

SpareASquare · 24/10/2016 07:59

You do need proof, of all sorts of things when your husband makes out you are crazy and gaslights you whenever you try to get him to admit to cheating
You do need proffered when he is using family money to keep his ow, buy her a house amongst other things
You do need proof when all the marital assetc have been cleverly tied up within his business so you don't actually own your own home, it belongs to the business.....
Trust me, she needs fucking proof or she will be screwed financially when she leaves

No, you don't need proof of any of that. You especially dont need 'proof'' to walk out the door. You can wrap it all up as a 'need' but it's not. It may fill some kind of desire but 'need' is not it.
A solicitor would be money way better spent than playing amateur sleuth