Does anyone/has anyone followed The Rules?

[tartanmattress]

I read the dating book The Rules and am intrigued to hear people's opinions, experiences, advice, etc.

what are the rules?

The author PMd me the other day

No. Because it's a heap of steaming shit. Hope that helps!

No it's crap don't be sucked into it

If you're right for each other there'll be no need to play by 'the rules'.

I ditched it and met my future dh the next month lol. 10 years and still going strong

It's utter bollocks. A blueprint for a dysfunctional relationship.

If a woman read The Rules and a man read The Game, which one would win IN A FIGHT TO THE DEATH?

Luckily relationships are not about winning or fighting to the death.
Hang on in there until you find someone you like and trust who happens to feel the same about you.
If you play a silly game to start a relationship, you will play an even sillier one to end it.

The author of The Rules sent a PM? On here?

What are they?

Why would you?

Yep. Old fashioned advice, and rather Americanised, but I had both books in my single days and swore by them! :-)

Coulda I just read the updated one for online and stuff.

I read it after a friend (who read it and has been married for ~7 years off the back of it). I definitely took it with a pinch of salt but it does ring true!

I've just read the rules on Wikipedia.... What a pile of non-sense.... Who would even consider it sensible - a clueless 15 year-old?

Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other"
Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
Always End Phone Calls First
Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
Fill Up Your Time before the Date
How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3
How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
Always End the Date First
Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
Don't Tell Him What to Do
Let Him Take the Lead
Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
Don’t Open Up Too Fast
Be Honest but Mysterious
Accentuate the Positive and Other Rules for Personal Ads
Don’t Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment)
Don't Date a Married Man
Slowly Involve Him in Your Family and Other Rules for Women with Children
Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)
Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules
Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends and Parents Think It's Nuts
Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in High School
Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College
Next! and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection
Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist
Don't Break The Rules
Do The Rules and You’ll Live Happily Ever After!
Love Only Those Who Love You
Be Easy to Live With

And if you find your way back from 1972 please scatter breadcrumbs so others can follow your trail.

The Rules would attract a partner with low self esteem who feel they have to make more effort for someone who is being quite nasty to show them attention.

I think the actual book makes more sense that the list of rules... but I do get you.

I haven't read them/it, but the book came out when I was husband hunting. It just all seems a bit odd to me. The men they would probably have worked on just weren't worth it in the long run. The nice men I dated just didn't need them - the relationships progressed 'normally', no drama, no games.

Some of those rules are really sensible! Trouble is when you copy and paste it makes a nonsense of your posts.

I did the Rules. Giving away my age, no doubt.

It worked. None of my other boyfriends shags were worth marrying. Dh did all the right things, stayed the course and was clearly a keeper. 16 years later, he still is and a most amazing father.

The rules will work with 0.01% of the male population. It's a steaming pile of shit.
Any decent bloke doesn't need rules & any decent woman doesn't need to be analysed through the game.

I read it many moons ago. Some of it does makes sense. A lot of it is
I'll never forget a paragraph about a woman going bed shopping with her boyfriend and she bought a single bed rather than a double - I can't remember the exact reasons but it was something like keeping him on his toes, not giving him any ideas about their status as a couple....
I thought it was bloody ridiculous advice to confine yourself to a 3ft bed.
'Why men love bitches' is a better read.

It really says that donaj?

That's not even funny, it's weird. That wouldn't keep a bloke on his toes, it'd make him walk. The sort of bloke that would worry & work on, would be the sort of doormat you wouldn't need to play games on. What odd advice?!

Some of it is annoying jargon.

But the core message is to value yourself, have good boundaries and do not put up with a man treating you badly.

It's a better message than is sometimes realised.