If you do decide to ttc with him, you will be giving your child a terrible father; he will expect the child to love him, but in return do nothing to take care of or nurture him/her. He will hurt and damage this child by being the person he is, with all his abusive narcissistic behaviour.
Your options are really quite simple: stay, and expect the same feelings, or worse. Expect to change, to become numb... Or increasingly frustrated and feel like you're going mad.
Or leave. Find time and ways to heal yourself and move on.