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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Boyfriend is secretly taking Viagra

28 replies

Slummamumma · 11/07/2016 13:55

Hi, I found out last weekend - accidentally - that my boyfriend is secretly taking Viagra (I was putting clean pants away in his drawer). There were 3 tablets there last Sunday. We don't live together but have a very firm and committed relationship and are getting married nxt year. I only see him at the weekends. I went to get some pants out of the drawer for him on Saturday afternoon this weekend (the children had soaked us with water pistols from the paddling pool and I was fetching dry clothes for us). There was only 1 tablet left. The only night I have spent with him since last Sunday was Friday night and he fell asleep on the sofa at 9.30 so no Viagra session for us! What has he done with the other two tablets (and they have been taken as the packaging was there but empty). I don't know what to do. I have no reason to think he is unfaithful and we speak very night of the week so no opportunities either. Feel very confused. Maybe it's nothing and I should just leave it. WWYD?

OP posts:

HarmlessChap · 11/07/2016 14:28

If he has significant problems maintaining an erection without he could simply be using them to have a wank, they are also used by some people to gain a competitive advantage in sport as they increase blood flow.

Unless one of these 2 apply then he's probably using them within sex and if its not with you then he's got questions to answer.

princessmi12 · 11/07/2016 14:28

well looks like he has taken it,just not for sex with you
How can you be sure he's not cheating just because you speak with him every night? It doesn't mean he didn't go out before or after or even spoke with you in the presence of OW
Sorry it must be hard to digest but I don't buy its nothing or he gave tablets to someone else.
Id watch him closely/look for proof

HuskyLover1 · 11/07/2016 16:16

Just because he talks to you every night, doesn't mean he can't be cheating. I knew a guy who would regularly cheat, and have his nightly chat with his GF, whilst the OW was in the room. Not saying that's what's happening here, but there you go. Is he secretive with his phone? If so, you could have a problem. You really need to get a look at it.

Original poster

Slummamumma · 11/07/2016 16:21

Oh dear. No he's not secretive at all with his phone. When we talk in the evening it's between 8-10pm so unless he has a cinq-a-sept ... feel sick. He doesnt play any competitive sports. There must be an innocent explanation - I really don't think he's cheating.

OP posts:

TroysMammy · 11/07/2016 16:23

Is he entitled to them eg diabetes? He may not use them but could be flogging them to a mate.

purplefox · 11/07/2016 16:30

if you only see him at weekends and speak to him between certain times during the week there's ample opportunities to cheat.

idontlikealdi · 11/07/2016 16:33

I think that he unfortunately has plenty of time to cheat. You need to speak to him op.

36mum · 11/07/2016 16:39

If you are marrying him you should be able to bring this up with him. Are you sure they were viagra?

TroysMammy · 11/07/2016 16:41

Does he use viagra when he is with you? If not why would he need to use it with someone else?

pennefortheguy · 11/07/2016 16:51

Does he use viagra when he is with you? If not why would he need to use it with someone else?

Am not the OP, but viagra gives a much harder and longer-lasting erection so is good for a long session.

mdocman1969 · 11/07/2016 16:58

Could there be an innocent explanation? Could a mate have given it to him, after said mate had take the other 2 or given them to someone else?

Original poster

Slummamumma · 11/07/2016 17:10

I don't know if he uses it with me. We have been able to discuss absolutely everything but this is difficult - the fact he hasn't mentioned that he uses it at all means that this is a sensitive subject. I would think it would be for any man. It's more the missing ones that are worrying me - probably because I would be devastated if there was somebody else. Don't mind if he needs it and was just using it for masturbation, during the last week. pennefortheguy - that's not making me feel any better!

OP posts:

Original poster

Slummamumma · 11/07/2016 17:12

Troysmdmmy - yes not 'viagra' but generic 'Sildenafil'. so sadly, there is not doubt what it is

OP posts:

Anon2309 · 11/07/2016 17:17

Have you thought about that maybe he used them for previous sex with you, but didn't tell you because he was too embarassed? Think about the last time you had sex

Pinkheart5915 · 11/07/2016 17:19

Maybe he has problems keeping an erection and is too embrassed to say anything? Some men are very embrassed about things like that.

Anon2309 · 11/07/2016 17:23

Ooops sorry - only now see that you said the 2 weren't missing last week.

Original poster

Slummamumma · 11/07/2016 17:27

Anon2309 - yes that's my main worry! I suppose he could have given them to a mate but out of the packaging . Not something I could really bring up on the phone so will have to wait until the weekend I suppose but think I do need to talk to him. Thanks for your messages. Really wish I had never put his bloody laundry away!

OP posts:

ScarletOverkill · 11/07/2016 17:33

In your OP you said you were looking for clean clothes but in your last post you said you were putting his laundry away

needanivoftea · 11/07/2016 17:35

You have to take the tablets about an hour before you plan to dtd so could be that he's taken them thinking that something was going to happen between you and for whatever reason it didn't?

TroysMammy · 11/07/2016 17:38

IME Gp's prescribe sildenafil not viagra.

Original poster

Slummamumma · 11/07/2016 17:39

Scarlet - the previous weekend when I first found 3 tablets I was putting laundry away. This weekend just gone, on Saturday I was getting out dry clothes for us and found 2 tablets missing but the packaging still there. Hence my concern and confusion.

OP posts:

Original poster

Slummamumma · 11/07/2016 17:42

Needanivoftea - oh I see so maybe he took 2 (?!) on Friday night thinking of dtd but fell asleep on the sofa instead? He was certainly ready in the morning so maybe that's the answer! (clutches at straws ...) sorry btw if tmi!!

OP posts:

redannie118 · 11/07/2016 17:46

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, and so we've agreed to take this down now.

Original poster

Slummamumma · 11/07/2016 17:49

redannie118 yes his reaction will tell me all I need to know. That's interesting about it being a treatment for Raynauds - which I have! He sometimes gets 'white finger' but by using heavy industrial equipment, maybe it is that! Good luck with your treatment and I hope it works for your raynauds

OP posts:

needanivoftea · 11/07/2016 17:51

Well 2 would certainly work!

I know about this because my dp takes them, i dont know where he keeps them or when he takes them before dtd because i know he's embarrassed about needing them. So you had a bit on sat morn, so he could have taken one on friday night and one on sat morn? Tbf if he was using them to cheat on you, why would he leave them in your house?

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