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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He's a much older married man and has a strong attraction towards me, what do i do im also married?

60 replies

searchingforanswers006 · 08/07/2016 19:23

It all started about a month or two ago when I met him for the first time.. His father, my husband's best friend, fell very ill and eventually died.
In the process I helped taking care of his father during end of life care.
At first we really wouldn't talk then as time went by, he started to open up about everything.. His emotion all over the place because of seeing his father dying.. He's around 50 I'm 31.. He says I remind him of his mother (she passed a few years back.) and he told a mutual friend I have a lot in common w his wife actually.. She's really nice btw. It wouldn't be nothing if it wasn't that everytime we say goodbye he has to hug me and almost he doesn't want let go... He would seat next to me, stare at me and give me flirty looks.. Even my husband, that he can be naive at times, he's referred to how weird how we've "connected" on a different level.. I love my husband deeply and wont cheat on him but I find myself thinking bout this guy non stop.. I almost feel motherly towards him like I wanna take care of him, is that too weird??? ( and now he wants to move from 7 hours away to his dad's house 6 minutes away ) HELP!!

OP posts:
WaffleOverload · 08/07/2016 20:51

Can't stop laughing. Sorry but it is quite funny. Does your husband have two best friends?

Pearlman · 08/07/2016 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fastdaytears · 08/07/2016 20:55

You're not allowed two BESTEST friends Pearl everyone knows that.

OP's husband will have to choose between the dead one and the one who wants to shag his wife.

fastdaytears · 08/07/2016 20:55

Sorry Waffle not Pearl

WaffleOverload · 08/07/2016 20:56

I'd actually love a friend of 90! It'd be interesting.

loobyloo1234 · 08/07/2016 20:57

Are we all high?!?

I sure hope so Grin Grin

TheNaze73 · 08/07/2016 21:02

Glad others are in agreement here, I thought it was me

elQuintoConyo · 08/07/2016 21:02

Um... Wtf do YOU THINK you should do?

Act on it. It sounds like an extra story from Love Actually. Albert Steptoe could play your one, Harold your DH and Francis de la Tour you.

I'd pat money to watch that.

PortiaCastis · 08/07/2016 21:12

FFS cloud cuckoo land is alive and well and on a parallel universe. Go round knickerless to see him and his Dad gauge the reaction or non reaction when you do a Basic Instinct then bugger off home before you get yourself spanked by Steptoe

NObadassMcGee · 08/07/2016 21:14

Oh fastdaytears you made me lol...

Pearlman · 08/07/2016 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whimsical1975 · 08/07/2016 21:15

I haven't laughed so hard in years, this thread is brilliant! As you were...

Offred · 08/07/2016 21:23

Where are you reading this man's strong attraction btw? He has said you remind him of his mother and of his wife which are two things you generally do not say if you are trying to fuck someone...

TheNaze73 · 08/07/2016 21:27

I want to know how a 31 year old man, has a 91 year old 'bestie'???

StopShoutingAtYourBrother · 08/07/2016 21:29

Step away OP, step away

milliemolliemou · 08/07/2016 21:34

Do read the thread, chaps. The person OP is attracted to is the 50yo son of the 91yo who died.

But I agree. OP, only misery will come if you follow through on your imagination about the attraction, and it's unfair on him to follow through when he's grieving. I know a number of grieving women (mostly widows) who seem to have attracted unneccessary attention from husband's friends. It may be that when someone dies there's a lizard brain that says let's have sex and make sure our genes continue and that life goes on - but let's hope more of us are civilized enough to reject it.

JuanPotatoTwo · 08/07/2016 21:36

Oh I used to love Steptoe and Son. But I'm a bit out of my depth here. Sorry op.

purplefox · 08/07/2016 21:37

I want to know how a 31 year old man, has a 91 year old 'bestie'???

Ditto.

fastdaytears · 08/07/2016 21:48

Do read the thread, chaps. The person OP is attracted to is the 50yo son of the 91yo who died

We have. It was apparently the 91 yo who was the husband's best friend until later when it was both of them

PortiaCastis · 08/07/2016 21:50

Grin yes one is Harold and the old spanky one is Albert

loobyloo1234 · 08/07/2016 22:06

Do read the thread, chaps.

The irony Grin

We've all read it ... and we are all confused

fastdaytears · 08/07/2016 22:10

Read the thread? I'm enjoying it so much I'm currently having it tattooed on my squishy bits

Tellmewhyohwhy · 08/07/2016 22:14

Yes even after op's clarification that both the 50 year old and 91 year old are her dh's best friends, we are still confused.

TheNaze73 · 08/07/2016 22:19

Thanks for pointing out how to read a message board. She said he had a best friend who was 91

KERALA1 · 08/07/2016 23:05

I'm sorry maybe it is the wine but am really laughing at this one. Just such an odd set up!