So today I found a receipt, from a woman's clothes store in my husbands wallet. There was only an amount and a barcode so I have no idea what he bought. They only sell women's things and the date stamp was during a week when I was working away from home. I have not received any gift and it would be very out of character for him to buy me anything. I don't know what to make of it - it could be innocent.
Our relationship is pretty shit. He treats me like I'm irrelevant, is controlling, critical and unkind but after over 10 years together I didn't see this ever coming. Although recently he has made a few classic suspicious moves, such as suddenly taking an interest in the way he looks and spending ridiculous amounts on a new wardrobe (this is VERY out of character- I don't think he's bought himself anything for over 5 years!) and starting to do weights. He works late a lot (but to be fair he always has), started mentioning a new girl at work a lot in what was I suspect an attempt to make me jealous. I didn't bite and he's stopped mentioning her now but it made me feel as though he is/was maybe in the 'pre affair' stage. He's going on a 'work outing' weekend away soon which she will be attending.
Can anyone help me work out how I can find out if he's having an affair? Hiring a private investigator is out as he controls all our money. I have two small dcs I can't leave to follow him and his work place is closely monitored so I'd worry I'd be picked up on cctv if I just started hanging around in his car park. I know I've shot myself in the foot with this one but I don't know how to access our joint bank account and he receives all of his statements online. I do know a couple of people he works with but not sure where their loyalty would lie. God I'm such an idiot. Any advice? I feel sick and need to know if there is anything going on.