'Sorry love I've not drunk enough grog to 'do' you.' 😳

[MissusWrex]

Dp said this to me about an hour ago, he'd just come back from his uncles funeral.

I mentioned that he looked damn good in his suit. He made a suggestive comment about tomorrow. So I asked wh

wtf?

Oh crap bloody phone!

Anyway I asked why not tonight and got the beautiful reply above.

Followed by a lot of stuttering about how he didn't mean it like that...he just meant he couldn't relax his inhibitions without a drunk.

I'm currently bouncing between incredulously furious and extremely hurt but outwardly am very calm.

Am I overreacting? I have asd so it's not always easy for me to tell.

We have autistic dd (3) and have just had ds ( 6 weeks old on Friday). I already felt fat, frumpy and a bit down, this just felt like a punch in the stomach emotionally.

It sounded to me like he was saying he needs to get drunk now to fancy me/ be romantic. Or that he can't relax with me...after knowing me ten bloody years!

Love's young dream, eh ?

So every time you've had sex in the last decade he's been drunk or has had a drink?

I'd be hurt by that comment too.

Congrats on your new baby.

what the actual fuck. Horrible pig of a man

What a cunt.

He's just buried his uncle love, relax eh.

What a peach

I wouldn't be impressed by that at all

You're not over reacting. What he said was shitty and it'd take me a long time to forget.

Not so young 😄

I've read relationships and I know how this goes. You must believe me when I say he's not a knob and if you'd told me before he'd come out with a line like that I would have called you a liar.

He's my carer. I'm starting to wonder now if this has affected how he feels about me. I still think he's absolutely gorgeous and certainly wouldn't need a drink

I just read your op again.

He's upset about his uncle and you want to get your rocks off!

Hmmm, not sure about this. On the face of it it's a really bloody, shitty thing to say. On the other hand, he might be feeling quite strung out after having buried a member of his family and not thinking quite straight. I think it is more the former than the latter. However, I expect he'll say it's the latter in the cold light of day when (and I hope it's when, not if) you confront him, to try and dig himself out of it.

BTW I'm impressed you're up for DTD so soon after having a baby - there's no way I'd have had the confidence or the libido to even suggest it!

No that's just it Margot.

Normal sex life until ds was born. I had a cesarean so there's been nothing since then.

But unless he's a very good hidden drunk he certainly didn't have to be before to 'do' me!

I disagree oddsocks, if he had said "I'm too upset" "I'm not in the mood today" or something similar then fair enough. To say he isn't drunk enough to have sex with his partner is just nasty. Grief or no grief. No need to be a wanker.

Very shitty thing to say to you, especially when you've just had a baby.

Why is he your "carer"?

Oddsick I don't expect him to have sex with me if he doesn't want to.

I just complemented him on his appearance. He made the first suggestive pass but mentioned it being tomorrow as in 'tomorrow I'll...etc.'

Then he said that!

I certainly don't pester him but I've always been a sucker for a suit and wouldn't have said no

If he's otherwise a nice chap then I'd let it go.

Dozed I have asd and dyspraxia and an extremely high pain threshold which means I don't notice when I've injured myself. I can't be left on my own, disaster ensues (that's not an exaggeration)

Ok a bit of background.

My mum was my carer until a year or so ago. But then she had to get a job because she needed the money.

My Dad tried looking after me for a while but he is very old and quite unwell so that didn't go great for either of us. ( While he was sleeping I stupidly went to make a cup of tea, dropped the kettle and didn't realise until dp got home that I'd seriously scalded my stomach/legs)

So dp have up work to care for me because he said it was too dangerous.

We both post on here. He is very loving and supportive.

I know it's probably the funeral messing him up but now I'm wondering if he meant it as in being my carer has made him fancy me less.

He is a nice man.

It just really really hurt.

Do you think maybe he meant it as a joke, but it just came out all wonky and completely not funny.

I have done this before.

Perhaps Oakmaiden I'm not the best at picking up on subtle humour.

Don't wreck your own head op. If I had just buried someone sex would be the last thing on my mind.

Are you sure you didn't hear him wrong?

if you both post on here have you started this thread so he will see it ?

He has just come home from a funeral he isn't in the mood (not to mention new baby, lack of sleep etc I'd assume if you can't be left alone he is doing all baby care and your care, night feeds etc), tbh if this was the other way round a man complimenting his wife who was over tired and just home from a funeral, and sad they didnt want to have sex, I think being told to get a grip would be the calmest of reactions.

I was going to say the same Winchester.