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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

PLEASE PLEASE HELP

27 replies

WinterChill · 10/05/2016 08:26

Please help I feel like I'm drowning and don't know what to do. I'm literally on my own with no outside help.

Left husband and asked him to leave. He refused so I went with kids. We're currently in hotel. He won't give me my bank cards, says he can't find them and has emptied our joint account. I literally have 50 quid to feed us and need to find money to stay another night. I really don't know what to do. I can't go back. I just cant

OP posts:
Original poster
WinterChill · 10/05/2016 08:30

And my charger is at home and my phone is dead. Where can I get an IPhone charger??

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 10/05/2016 08:33

Can you speak to hotel reception and explain the situation. They (or a kind member of staff) might lend you a charger?

Original poster
WinterChill · 10/05/2016 08:36

Not sure they'd have one but I could ask. Shit, this is such a mess! I feel better for going but I feel so stuck still at the minute

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 10/05/2016 08:36

0808 2000 247 is the number for women's aid-a charity helping women escape from domestic violence. It's a free phone number.

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 10/05/2016 08:37

Do you feel able to say where in the country you are? X

Original poster
WinterChill · 10/05/2016 08:39

Yeah I'm fine in my country but ive no idea where I'm staying tomorrow or how I'm going to feed my kids. I've tried messaging him telling him its not going to exactly see them through is it but he doesn't care. He's not forcing me back. I can't...

OP posts:
TheDuchyOfGrandFenwick · 10/05/2016 08:49

Are you in the UK?

Original poster
WinterChill · 10/05/2016 08:50

Duchy, yes I am

OP posts:
Sonnet · 10/05/2016 08:54

Telephone the Freephone number supplied by Purpledaisies above. They will help you with a place to stay and food for your children. As it is a Freephone number the hotel should let you phone from there so no immediate worries about your iPhone.

Original poster
WinterChill · 10/05/2016 08:56

thank you

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SaturdaySurprise · 10/05/2016 09:05

You could try going to your local Council's housing department. Was there domestic violence involved in your relationship? I don't know why you've left, but they could say that you're "intentionally homeless" and refuse to help you if there is no domestic violence/abuse involved.

TheDuchyOfGrandFenwick · 10/05/2016 09:12

Was it an abusive relationship? If so then try not to panic. Do as others have suggested and phone women's aid and the council. The council will usually find you emergency accommodation as you have children with you.
Be strong, you can get through this.

MNHQ
BeccaMumsnet · 10/05/2016 11:24

Hi WinterChill - we're sorry to hear you're having such a tough time Flowers

We're sorry to hijack your thread, but as always, we do like to advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

BarbarianMum · 10/05/2016 11:26

Is he abusive? If he is call Women's Aid. If he isn't go back home, regroup and get some legal advice before leaving/asking him to leave.

coffeeisnectar · 10/05/2016 11:29

Call Women's Aid immediately. They can house you and sort out food. for the children.

You then need to, over the next few days and weeks, sort out benefits to be paid into a bank account in your name only.

And see a solicitor as soon as possible. Women's aid often have free legal advice given by a legal aid solicitor.

soap34 · 10/05/2016 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soap34 · 10/05/2016 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaddyHatter · 10/05/2016 11:32

I step at a time.

Phone women's aid.

Tell the hotel what's going on

Go talk to the bank.
Go talk to CAB
Take a deep breath! It will be ok.

MorrisZapp · 10/05/2016 11:35

The hotel will have a box of left behind chargers. Failing that, Poundshop and primark sell them v cheaply.

fusspot66 · 10/05/2016 12:26

Also phone the non urgent police number to say you have left of your own volition and the DC are safe in case he reports you missing

fusspot66 · 10/05/2016 12:28

Financial abuse ie restricting access to money is DV.

fusspot66 · 10/05/2016 12:30

Financial abuse ie restricting access to money is classed as Domestic abuse.

LoveFromUs · 10/05/2016 12:38

I'd also like to know how you are posting on this site? You could go to your local housing office if he has been psychically abusive go to the police and get a crime reference number to take to the council with you, or like the others have said contact WomansAid, I have no experience with them myself but a friend of mine was put in a refuge through them.

liberatedwine · 10/05/2016 12:45

You have internet access so you can gather support - you don't need your phone for the time being. I'm assuming the hotel WiFi is free for guests?

Contact all your friends and family by email or through social media, tell them what the situation is. Someone may be able to a) lend you some money to tide you over b) put you and the children up for a few nights until something more permanent is arranged.

Original poster
WinterChill · 10/05/2016 16:57

Thanks all. yes I took the laptop as it was the only way I could pay for a room - hotel has wifi access at £3 for 24 hrs thank god it did cos I could go online and book a second nite via internet banking

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