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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did anyone elses relationship start from a one night stand?

52 replies

ddeemummy · 08/03/2016 10:40

I have been having a heated debate this morning with my friend on the school run (like you do).

My friend is very prim and proper have known her since I was at school and shes been with her husband 12 years only guy shes been with. We were walking back home and another mum from school was telling us about what she got upto at weekend. When we said bye to other mum my friend was so offensive towards her.

I dont know other mum well enough to know if its a regular thing or what but I found myself sticking up for her. I explained that not all one night stands are a bad thing. I had one with my husband, that was nearly 10 years ago and we are still going strong. She said my relationship is based on lust and questioned whether we had ever really got to know each other before moving in together.

Told her we are happy thats all that matters and she appologised if she had offended me. I said no its ok but im actually a bit annoyed.

Surely im not only person whos one night stand went further?

OP posts:
MTPurse · 08/03/2016 10:45

I'm not sure if You could call it a one night stand if it turned into a relationship.

A one night stand is a one night stand Confused

I do understand what you are saying though, dp and I were fuck buddies which turned into a relationship and we have now been together 8 years.

MrsDeathOfRats · 08/03/2016 10:45

Your friend was pretty rude and that would piss me off. Her opinion is hers, she doesn't have to be judgemental.

My marriage didn't start as a one night stand exactly.
Met dh at work, we fancied each other but neither was looking for a relationship so it was a FWB situation for a while. Then it all stopped and randomly he asked me out properly and that was 5 years ago. We have 2 kids.

Whathaveilost · 08/03/2016 10:48

DH was meant to be a one night only thing ( for me anyway) 26 years later and our eldest is nearly 20!

He is the best person in the world for me!

headinhands · 08/03/2016 10:48

She sounds v judgey. It can be quite entertaining to have a judgey friend but they become very irritating very quickly.

HairySubject · 08/03/2016 10:48

My last relationship started off as a casual sex arrangement and we ended u living together for 5 years.
I hate people who think their way is the only way. Massive respect to your friend if her one and only happened to work out as happily ever after but that doesn't mean it is wrong to do things differently!

ddeemummy · 08/03/2016 10:48

Well yes I agree I guess mine wasnt a one night stand. But I had only just met him that night and never thought it would turn into anything more.

I dont think she meant to offend me but ai was more annoyee how she slagged other woman off. Its really made me see her in a different light

OP posts:
Tootsiepops · 08/03/2016 10:49

My husband was supposed to be a one night stand. Turned in to casual sex, then friends with benefits, then proper romantic relationship, then marriage and a baby.

Tell your acquaintance to calm her (judgey) pants.

ddeemummy · 08/03/2016 10:52

Yes she does get a bit annoying sometimes. I knew her at school and lost touch if it wasnt for fact she lives near me and kids at same school I wouldnt really talk to her to be fair. She is very set in her ways but I get on with her as one of her kids has sn like mine so its someone I can vent with

OP posts:
TheOddity · 08/03/2016 10:53

Me and DH (married six years, together 11, 2 kids) started as a lust filled dance floor thing followed by a one night stand, which then became a two night stand, a flat rental, then a mortgage, wedding and 2.4 children! Lust is part of relationships at first usually right? Not saying it is the right way round to have sex ASAP but if you have lust it's a good start Grin

exLtEveDallas · 08/03/2016 10:53

Kind of. I knew him for a few months and had helped him (with paperwork) through his divorce (as I'd done mine myself a few years before).

We got very drunk at a party some months later and ended up in bed. A week later it happened again...

The rest is history.

whatlifestylechoice · 08/03/2016 10:55

Dp was only ever meant to be a one night stand. I thought he was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen, but so not the man for me. Now seven years later and with a baby on the way, I never did manage to get rid of the fecker. Grin

SolidGoldBrass · 08/03/2016 10:56

She's an ignorant, misogynistic bigot.
How consenting adults arrange their sex lives is up to them, and there is no moral superiority in restricting sex to committed relationships.

I appreciate that it's possible to gain something from friendship with a bigot (you can talk about your DC and give each other support) and having stupid, narrow opinions doesn't necessarily make a person all bad. But after a while, the fuckwittery of these people does get tiresome.

misscph1973 · 08/03/2016 11:01

Your friend is rude. Possibly she was never young?

Maybe deep own she is jealous, maybe she feels she has missed out? And it comes out in anger and her judging?

ddeemummy · 08/03/2016 11:02

We are all entitled to our opinions and im fine with that. Just some people seem to live in a bubble, its really made me see her in a new light.

Maybe if you had a different man every day something like that then people would make judgements but for her to question how we got together has annoyed me.

We did date just after the one night stand Grin

OP posts:
ddeemummy · 08/03/2016 11:04

Miss - maybe your right. I remember at school she was always a bit of a geek think her parents were quite strict.

Saying that I was always a bit of a loner, my mum was also strict I rebelled once turned 18 where as she met her husband and settled down.

OP posts:
LBOCS2 · 08/03/2016 11:08

Yep. Met him through a friend, took him home that night. Didn't intend to see him again, but he was out with the crowd a couple of weeks later - same thing happened then. He got hold of my email address, we chatted a bit, went on a few dates... And 51 weeks later got married. 6 years and 2 DC down the line and I don't think our relationship has suffered for it!

TinklyLittleLaugh · 08/03/2016 11:09

Well lust is a great start. Lust got me through the earlier years of DH ocaisionally being a bit of a dick. Then he grew up and is now lovely as well as gorgeous.

daisywhoopsie · 08/03/2016 11:23

My OH was after a one night stand. Seven years later and he still hasn't worked out how to get rid of me. Poor bugger!

NerrSnerr · 08/03/2016 11:31

I slept with my husband on the first night I met him. That was 14 years ago.

ouryve · 08/03/2016 11:35

Oi! I was am a bit of a geek and I'd never be so damned judgemental!

ProfYaffle · 08/03/2016 11:40

I am/was a geek.

Dh started off as a ons 16 years ago.

Twinklestein · 08/03/2016 11:43

My sister's husband was a ons, if only it had stayed that way tbh.

Helmetbymidnight · 08/03/2016 11:46

Yes, First DH. [girn]

Your mate is silly, however, I think the other woman is slightly foolish for telling school-mums she clearly doesn't know well about her sex life.

TheEmmaDilemma · 08/03/2016 11:49

I never expected my ONS to turn into a relationship. I even told him it would never go further.

His actions the next day one me over.

2 years later... :D

TheEmmaDilemma · 08/03/2016 11:50

*won me over