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Original poster

Did anyone elses relationship start from a one night stand?

52 replies

ddeemummy · 08/03/2016 10:40

I have been having a heated debate this morning with my friend on the school run (like you do).

My friend is very prim and proper have known her since I was at school and shes been with her husband 12 years only guy shes been with. We were walking back home and another mum from school was telling us about what she got upto at weekend. When we said bye to other mum my friend was so offensive towards her.

I dont know other mum well enough to know if its a regular thing or what but I found myself sticking up for her. I explained that not all one night stands are a bad thing. I had one with my husband, that was nearly 10 years ago and we are still going strong. She said my relationship is based on lust and questioned whether we had ever really got to know each other before moving in together.

Told her we are happy thats all that matters and she appologised if she had offended me. I said no its ok but im actually a bit annoyed.

Surely im not only person whos one night stand went further?

OP posts:
georgiatraher · 08/03/2016 11:53

I think it can work. :)

Its probably just because the friend hasn't ever done anything like that so might misunderstand how things happen. Because she hasnt had experience of it she might be struggling to see it as a legitimate relationship because it's not how she did things.

noddingoff · 08/03/2016 11:54

A friend of mine had a casual shag when travelling, fell in love, married her and ten years later they live in the lovely house that he built and they have 3 very sweet well brought up children.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 08/03/2016 11:57

I once took a lad home for a ons. He got up in the morning and practically replumbed my leaky bathroom for me I was that good obvs. Nice enough lad but took a bit of getting rid of.

Effendi · 08/03/2016 12:01

Yes, went home with him on the night we met in October 1996. Married 5 years later. Still together.

Ludways · 08/03/2016 12:40

Physical lust which builds into emotional love, two huge positives right there.

Dh and I weren't but I've had my fair share and never regretted it.

Whisky2014 · 08/03/2016 12:40

I dtd with my partner the night we met. And the next day he arranged a date for the next week and it carried on from there.
1.5 years later still going strong. I am happy

doesitevermakesense · 08/03/2016 12:50

same as whisky

On the other hand, I have a friend who has been (exclusively) dating someone for 3 months and they haven't dtd. I think the level of importance that sex plays in a relationship varies massively person to person. For me it is very important (after being in a sexless marriage), for my friend it is not important (after also being in a sexless marriage, but not knowing what she is missing!).

Your friend shouldn't judge. But people do. All the time.

Jan45 · 08/03/2016 14:33

It shouldn't matter but in all honesty I am glad I never had sex with my now LT partner on the first meeting, daft I know but I don't want to think of either of us just being a ONS, we did on the third date though, there's just something about the first night you meet and sex.

Original poster
ddeemummy · 08/03/2016 19:38

Whisky - our first time was pretty much like that too. Night out with friends a friend of a friend brought a few of her mates with her (he was one of them) instantly attracted to him such a cute smile we just clicked spent most night either dancing or sat in corner together giggling. Next morning I expected him to leave but he hung around at my friends until the afternoon we all just hung out together. When he left he gave me his number and msn (those were the days Grin). We txt and messaged the rest of weekend then met up the sunday night went for a drive and mcdonalds very romantic haha. Rest is history.

Was actually Dating another guy so felt bad but never slept with him.

Well saw the friend earlier she seemed to avoid me ha

OP posts:
dun1urkin · 08/03/2016 19:51

I always joke around about my one night stand with DH. I was very drunk, just having a bit of fun (also had a boyfriend at the time Blush) and wouldn't give him my phone number until he asked three times... We've been together 16 years now.

pocketsaviour · 08/03/2016 20:20

Of the five LTRs I've had, four of them started off as casual one-nighters.

The one which didn't was actually the worst, too. We were totally mis-matched sexually and both ended up cheating because we didn't actually fancy each other but didn't want to admit it Confused

Claraoswald36 · 08/03/2016 20:29

I fell deeply in love with a one night stand I planned to not even see again and it was very much reciprocated. We haven't been together for 9 years now but it was a genuine strangers to lovers to partners in a few hours Grin

DownstairsMixUp · 08/03/2016 20:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Emz449 · 08/03/2016 20:42

OH was supposed to be a one night stand, he pursued and we're still together nearly 4 years later. I adore him

nowyoucmo · 08/03/2016 21:01

I think your friend is a bit envious Grin

TJEckleburg · 08/03/2016 21:08

Yep. Met dH on a Friday night, left him on the Saturday morning. Saw him again on the Sunday and spent only about 10 nights apart in next 4 months, at which point he said I away as well move in. That was 20 years and 2 children ago. I did know I was going to marry him about 2 hours after I met him though.

Original poster
ddeemummy · 09/03/2016 06:50

Maybe she is envious I dont know.

Its been nice reading your personal experiences. Maybe should tell her to have a read maybe an eye opener for her Grin

OP posts:
nowyoucmo · 10/03/2016 01:03

Do! I think she fancies a ONS of her own x

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 10/03/2016 01:18

I love that "Your relationship is based on lust" is an insult.

Because a relationship based on restraint is just so superior.

I'd regale her with tales of threesomes and BDSM during your youth and watch her burst into flame.

OurBlanche · 10/03/2016 08:59

Oh dear. Ladies, take a seat.

Many years ago, in the dark days before the internet and mobile phones were a 'thing', the year of the game changing music fest that was Live Aid, I moved hundreds of miles away from my family.

I went out one night with a work colleague, met her OHs DB and DS, both of whom chatted me up Smile

Slightly drunk, very happy and horny I took the DB home with me, nothing in mind other than a quick shag to end a good night out. 31 years later we are still together.

OK, it took a while. We didn't have phones (bedsits/shared flats back then tended not to). So we would only meet up when we happened to be in the same pub. So we spent a couple of months meeting on Friday night, in passing, and arranging to meet properly on Saturday - thems were the rules in those days: Friday Night = your mates; Saturday = your wo/man.

Don't think about it too much, but I bet you youngy'uns have never contemplated the idea that your mum had ONS, a quick shag, meaningless sex, maybe with your dad! Smile

Mookbark · 10/03/2016 09:09

I met my ONS 25 years ago now, married 20. I'm pretty damn happy to have a marriage based on lust but not as much as 20-odd years ago
ourBlanche love the idea of telling teenage DS1 about his mum and dads quick shag Grin Don't think I will though, he'd be too shocked.

Tabsicle · 10/03/2016 12:27

My best friend's DH was a ONS. Then they met up again the next day at random and decided to have a Two Night Stand. After a week they started calling it FWB. After a month they decided it was casual dating. After six months they got engaged and are now happily married, many years later.

To be fair, she totally says it was based pretty heavily on lust to begin with and he's still the best sex she's ever had. I just don't think she (or I!) would see that as a bad thing. Surely you want a bit of lust in your marriage?

MorrisZapp · 10/03/2016 12:33

Yup. I'm a boring mum in a performance coat but DP was a meaningless shag who became a meaningless fling.

It was 'just a bit of fun' for two years while I kept my eyes out for Mr Permanent. But then we moved in, had DS etc.

Seems like Mr Permanent is going to be a long term thing after all. 16 years together so far...

Whisky2014 · 10/03/2016 13:41

Hehe yeh dde Mine was a random Thursday night out with a friend. I was actually doing karaoke when I spotted him at the bar and put the mic down after the song finished and chatted him up! He was only there for a work leaving do and I am never out on a weekday night usually.

Funny thing was I had the Fri off (hence why I was out) but he had work. We'd ended the night in a club and I said we'd take a taxi to mine (the other end of town) and he said he lived close by. I wanted to go to mine though so that was that. He had to do a walk of shame back to his flat and on his way home a work colleague picked him up and said he didn't realise he lived in that area. Partenr had to admit he didn't and was heading home after the work do last night.
The colleague who gave him a lift still fist bumps him to this day!

Also, the next time I saw him we ended up back at his flat which was Directly Across The Road from the club we'd been in the week before! Poor guy - I made him go all over town for me when i had the day off haha

Whisky2014 · 10/03/2016 13:42

And the song I was singing at karaoke is now "our song" :):)

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