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Original poster

I'm not sure on this one ..

38 replies

Stuey141 · 16/02/2016 08:57

I met a girl online at the end of December 15 and to summarise, both 31, we arranged to meet mid Jan and because I spent a few days not mentioning it when I do she said she want going to be a back up plan. Then didn't reply to me so I ignored her. She messaged me again a few days later and I gave her another chance.
We have met the last 4 weekends and had 4 amazing evenings/nights.. Although last weekend the evening ended badly, we had a row over something silly as we're both drunk! She had blamed me for it all which I have just agreed with although I'm not convinced. I apologised and she said she doesn't hold grudges!
Couple of things worry me, the morning after, she had a message on her phone saying 'happy Valentine's Day trouble' I wasn't checking her phone it just went off right in front of me :/
I was due to stay at hers fri/sat this weekend but she messaged me saying her furniture isnt arriving until the following week so isn't getting the keys to her flat now, meaning I can't stay as she is currently with her parents..
Yesterday we exchanged messages as normal really and I asked if I could call her about 10.30, she replied with yeah, I called no answer, but was online on what's app another hour!
She has messaged me this morning saying her phone got stuck on what's app.
I get the impression I'm being played, or have I put her off with the row sat night?
Do I message as normal or just ask what's going on?

OP posts:
rightguard · 16/02/2016 09:00

Can't quite make sense if it all but it's meant to be fun being with someone. Especially in the early days. This does not sound like fun.just drama and fights.

Sighing · 16/02/2016 09:11

Well. If you call women girls you're not even trying to communicate as an adult. This is all ridiculous

Marchate · 16/02/2016 09:14

I gave her another chance

How generous! (Another wind up thread?)

Oysterbabe · 16/02/2016 09:19

It's too early in the relationship for arguments and drama. I'd leave this one and move on.

hellsbellsmelons · 16/02/2016 09:44

Waaay too much drama way too early on.
Just leave it. Get out and enjoy yourself.
How old is she? 16?

'Girls' you see for me is fine.
I'm the wrong side of 45 and we still have girlie nights out or a girls night in.
You will never win on that one on this site so ignore those comments!

Talcumsoul · 16/02/2016 09:51

I'm 60 but still think of myself as a girl. Mentally I'm about 17. I know it annoys some being called girls, but I don't give an arse.
Stuey, is she worth it? It's very early days so I'd leave it for another few dates and see how it goes. If it becomes hard work, I'd make my excuses and leave.
Best of luck though!

pocketsaviour · 16/02/2016 11:30

You've had 4 dates - it's none of your business who else she is texting with or calling.

You don't sound compatible and I'd put her out of your misery end things now.

Itisbetternow · 16/02/2016 11:35

I'm 51 don't mind being called a girl!!!

Too much drama in this relationship. Dating someone should be fun. Fun. Fun. If it isn't fun in the first year stop and move on. I appreciate that life gets in the way sometimes but it shouldn't stop a relationship being kind, funny and enjoyable.

Move on.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 16/02/2016 11:55

Firstly, when men call women 'girls' it's quite often indicative of how they regard women in general. Whether individual women have a girls' night in/out/whatever or not is irrelevant.

Secondly, this 'relationship' sounds like a non starter. When I did OD, I learnt quite quickly that some people are there because their careers/lifestyles/family commitments restrict their options for meeting people in rl. However many are there because they are not in a position to make/sustain a relationship.

You are young. This sounds like hard work.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 16/02/2016 11:59

If you're getting drunk and arguing after 4 dates, it's not something I'd get involved with.

TooAswellAlso · 16/02/2016 12:05

You ignored her, the two of you drunkenly row, and you think you're being played?

It's been a month. Walk away. It's not meant to be hard.

Original poster
Stuey141 · 16/02/2016 12:25

I ignored her when she didn't reply..
It's just so confusing, we live 2 hours apart so we have both made a lot of effort. I just don't no if all these things are a coincidence or alarm bells are ringing for a reason. I agree it shouldn't be like this after 4 weekends, but we have got on so well I don't want to walk away as I normally would.
Some say tell her what I'm feeling some say don't.. But if I do tell her I might sound like a weirdo lol
I'm just struggling to believe some things I'm being told

OP posts:
TooAswellAlso · 16/02/2016 12:34

Honestly. It shouldn't be confusing. It shouldn't be hard work. It shouldn't be game playing of she ignored me so I ignored her. It shouldn't be arguing drunk. And living two hours apart is never going to be easy.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 16/02/2016 12:41

If you live 2hrs apart is it really worth the effort?

For me a 2hr journey would spell the end of anything but a very serious LTR. I certainly wouldn't entertain starting one at that distance.

Come on, you're 31. Do you really meet so few women in your real life that this seems the most viable option?

hellsbellsmelons · 16/02/2016 12:59

Firstly, when men call women 'girls' it's quite often indicative of how they regard women in general. Whether individual women have a girls' night in/out/whatever or not is irrelevant
I don't get this I'm afraid.
If I bumped into my OH out with his mates I wouldn't go up to them and say 'Hello MEN' I just wouldn't.
I'd say 'Alright lads' or 'Hello boys' so not sure what that makes me?
If a bloke I knew saw me out with my mates and came up and said 'Hello WOMEN' I'd have a very confused look on my face. Sounds all wrong.

TheNaze73 · 16/02/2016 13:36

Bin her off. There are over 3 billion women on the planet, that all think they're special. Find one who is

Marchate · 16/02/2016 13:46

...that all think they're special

What? How condescending

Find one who is

Why not be special yourself? It's not a search & destroy mission

Doingmyheadin2016 · 16/02/2016 14:53

If you row after you have only met four times, there is something wrong.

goddessofsmallthings · 16/02/2016 16:51

You met her online and you live 2 hours apart? Chuck this one back into the dating pool and adjust your settings so that you're only shown profiles of those who live within 10 miles of your home.

Original poster
Stuey141 · 17/02/2016 19:42

Well.. I ended up replying in the afternoon, had a few blunt messages then nothing for 6 hours until another boring message at 11pm..
I got another blunt one this morning and I haven't replies all day! She has now text saying her what's app isn't working properly and she doesn't no if I have tried messaging, and how was my day..
Do I just ignore and move on, or shall I replying asking what's going on and why the sudden change in attitude?

OP posts:
hownottofuckup · 17/02/2016 19:48

Just say you don't think it's working out?
Be up front and honest.

Drunk and rowing after 4 dates is pretty bad.

'Happy Valentines trouble' is a matey text. Even if it's from another male.

TheNaze73 · 17/02/2016 20:12

Don't what ever you do chase her. The moment you start asking her questions, engage with her & feed her ego, she'll play up again.

Original poster
Stuey141 · 17/02/2016 20:29

Ha this is the problem I'm having, people say different things..
I do like her but I don't like the girl I have seen over the last few days..
Guess by ignoring this message Aswell she may realise what a bitch she has been.. Or maybe not and never hear from her again :/

OP posts:
ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 18/02/2016 08:07

I do like her but I don't like the girl I have seen over the last few days.

But that is her. Just a side of her you haven't encountered on the previous 4 times you've seen her. Well 3 if you don't include the time you rowed.

My exh had a really strong belief that ALL women were/are sweet, quiet, demure 'things' with laughter that tinkled like little bells, and who showered glittery fairy dust from the soles of their feet as they walked.

They're not. And if she is showing you who she is after 3 dates, this really is who she is!

Trills · 18/02/2016 08:43

For me a 2hr journey would spell the end of anything but a very serious LTR. I certainly wouldn't entertain starting one at that distance.

I agree.