I'm not sure on this one ..

[Stuey141]

I met a girl online at the end of December 15 and to summarise, both 31, we arranged to meet mid Jan and because I spent a few days not mentioning it when I do she said she want going to be a back up plan. Then didn't reply to me so I ignored her. She messaged me again a few days later and I gave her another chance.
We have met the last 4 weekends and had 4 amazing evenings/nights.. Although last weekend the evening ended badly, we had a row over something silly as we're both drunk! She had blamed me for it all which I have just agreed with although I'm not convinced. I apologised and she said she doesn't hold grudges!
Couple of things worry me, the morning after, she had a message on her phone saying 'happy Valentine's Day trouble' I wasn't checking her phone it just went off right in front of me :/
I was due to stay at hers fri/sat this weekend but she messaged me saying her furniture isnt arriving until the following week so isn't getting the keys to her flat now, meaning I can't stay as she is currently with her parents..
Yesterday we exchanged messages as normal really and I asked if I could call her about 10.30, she replied with yeah, I called no answer, but was online on what's app another hour!
She has messaged me this morning saying her phone got stuck on what's app.
I get the impression I'm being played, or have I put her off with the row sat night?
Do I message as normal or just ask what's going on?

[AyeAmarok]

Much, much too hard work and drama.

4 dates, not worth it. Just move on. Don't get into a big text discussion about it, just say you aren't compatible and move on.

[StillDrSethHazlittMD]

Every time a man (or bloke, or guy, or whatever word you choose to use) makes a thread that includes the word "girl", several posters will always pounce on this.

"If you call women girls you're not even trying to communicate as an adult" and "when men call women 'girls' it's quite often indicative of how they regard women in general" being the first two examples on the thread.

It's madness, because the logical extension of "don't call a woman a girl" which is what the first anti-comment means, suggests once you turn 18, unless you live with them and want to call them your partner, you mustn't dare refer to the person you are dating with as a "girlfriend" or, by also logical extension, "boyfriend". And nor must anyone else. It's bollocks.

It does NOT automatically mean that this man regards women in a poor light because they chose to use the word "girl".

Can we please get out of this habit of jumping on people over a simple choice of words when they may well have come here for reasoned, sensible discussion or help because, quite honestly, it's those who jump on the silly semantics right from the get go that come off worse. IF the poster then reveals more info which DOES paint them as regarding women poorly, then fill your boots.

[Trills]

Whatsapp is the new version of Facebook by allowing you to see when she is chatting to others, on her phone etc.

In one very very limited sense.

It can show when she last opened the app.

And it can show whether she has read your message.

That is all.

Not whether she sent a message or read a message or just tapped it by mistake.

[Anotherwriter]

Stuey,

Whatsapp is the new version of Facebook by allowing you to see when she is chatting to others, on her phone etc.

The concensus is the same. She is her own person (as are you) and she is telling you who she is. Friendships aren't supposed to be hard work which involve analysing.

Keep the line of communication open but don't make her priority.

[JohnThomas69]

It's called keeping your options open. More than likely future communication will be based on outside influences. Forget it. Nip it in the bud and let her know you're no longer an option. She's more than likely playing the field.

[Stuey141]

Well she messaged me Friday night and said she now thinks that's what I'm like drunk and wouldn't be put in that position, I apologised and said it isn't me but not much else I can say.. She didn't reply until last night. I got a messages saying 'Just wanted you to no where I was coming from, hope your ok x' o replied at lunchtime today saying I did understand and have apologised there is no more I can say on this, hope you had a good weekend.. And I got no reply! What was the point in her even messaging me

[WhatALoadOfOldBollocks]

Agree with the PPs. Move on and find someone who lives closer (and unless you live in the middle of nowhere there will be tons of women within a 30 minute drive for example), and who you don't end up rowing with so soon into things. Relationships just shouldn't have this much drama and angst, especially so soon. You've only had 4 dates FFS! Get rid and find someone suitable.

[Stuey141]

Haha I agree

Cheers for the advice guys :)

[ExasperatedAlmostAlways]

Just incase you didn't get that. MOVE ON!

[ExasperatedAlmostAlways]

Listen, this relationship is doomed. Its been four dates for goodness sake..your alarm bells are going off for a reason. Follow your gut instinct and text her and say it's not working and move on. Far too many games and arguments for only four dates, you aren't compatible. Move on.

[Trills]

Why not get off Whatsapp & just text?

Failing to see how this would solve any problem.

[Anotherwriter]

OP,
Have you called a friend 'Trouble' as a nickname before? Or received it as one? Why not get off Whatsapp & just text? That would take the pressure away.

[TheNaze73]

Stuey141 A partner should be the person, to take away the stress from life, not be the stress itself. If anyone behaved like that after 3 dates with me, I'd walk. Remember you're the prize, not her. Be strong, walk away & get together with someone who deserves you & all you have to offer. There are plenty of lovely, low maintenance women out there, with plenty to offer & you deserve to meet one of them. This one has shown you her cards early, avoid like the plague!

[Trills]

For me a 2hr journey would spell the end of anything but a very serious LTR. I certainly wouldn't entertain starting one at that distance.

I agree.

[ThisIsStillFolkGirl]

I do like her but I don't like the girl I have seen over the last few days.

But that is her. Just a side of her you haven't encountered on the previous 4 times you've seen her. Well 3 if you don't include the time you rowed.

My exh had a really strong belief that ALL women were/are sweet, quiet, demure 'things' with laughter that tinkled like little bells, and who showered glittery fairy dust from the soles of their feet as they walked.

They're not. And if she is showing you who she is after 3 dates, this really is who she is!

[Stuey141]

Ha this is the problem I'm having, people say different things..
I do like her but I don't like the girl I have seen over the last few days..
Guess by ignoring this message Aswell she may realise what a bitch she has been.. Or maybe not and never hear from her again :/

[TheNaze73]

Don't what ever you do chase her. The moment you start asking her questions, engage with her & feed her ego, she'll play up again.

[hownottofuckup]

Just say you don't think it's working out?
Be up front and honest.

Drunk and rowing after 4 dates is pretty bad.

'Happy Valentines trouble' is a matey text. Even if it's from another male.

[Stuey141]

Well.. I ended up replying in the afternoon, had a few blunt messages then nothing for 6 hours until another boring message at 11pm..
I got another blunt one this morning and I haven't replies all day! She has now text saying her what's app isn't working properly and she doesn't no if I have tried messaging, and how was my day..
Do I just ignore and move on, or shall I replying asking what's going on and why the sudden change in attitude?

[goddessofsmallthings]

You met her online and you live 2 hours apart? Chuck this one back into the dating pool and adjust your settings so that you're only shown profiles of those who live within 10 miles of your home.

[Doingmyheadin2016]

If you row after you have only met four times, there is something wrong.

[Marchate]

...that all think they're special

What? How condescending

Find one who is

Why not be special yourself? It's not a search & destroy mission

[TheNaze73]

Bin her off. There are over 3 billion women on the planet, that all think they're special. Find one who is

[hellsbellsmelons]

Firstly, when men call women 'girls' it's quite often indicative of how they regard women in general. Whether individual women have a girls' night in/out/whatever or not is irrelevant
I don't get this I'm afraid.
If I bumped into my OH out with his mates I wouldn't go up to them and say 'Hello MEN' I just wouldn't.
I'd say 'Alright lads' or 'Hello boys' so not sure what that makes me?
If a bloke I knew saw me out with my mates and came up and said 'Hello WOMEN' I'd have a very confused look on my face. Sounds all wrong.

[ThisIsStillFolkGirl]

If you live 2hrs apart is it really worth the effort?

For me a 2hr journey would spell the end of anything but a very serious LTR. I certainly wouldn't entertain starting one at that distance.

Come on, you're 31. Do you really meet so few women in your real life that this seems the most viable option?