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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I already know .......

47 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 14/02/2016 20:38

It's been a while since I've been on here but could really do with the no nonsense honesty from the mnetters

So here goes:
Been together 19 months

Met his kids once (which tipped his ex into a rage and subsequently ended our relationship for a short time)

Still not divorced (after 2 1/2 years)
Massive debt still not being dealt with

I've paid for 2 holidays which he pays me back £100 per month for however he will happily pay for his rugby tours, Xmas presents etc

Bought me one present at Xmas
that he moaned about, plus some horrendous underwear that I asked him to return

Last time we went out he said 'I'd forgotten how pretty you are when you do your make up'

Has no relationship with his alcoholic father or his sister
States he has a difficult relationship with his mother but visits her weekly

Gets a bit sulky if I have other plans on the days he has free to see me (which is only work nights, nights where he doesn't get a lie in, or when he's not with his children'

After saying he loves me for the last year he recently declared that he just says it and doesn't think he's capable of love and is 'dead inside'

Positives:
Nice to my dcs
Does man jobs
Above average sex

Go on ladies give it to me straight

OP posts:
rewardformissingmojo · 14/02/2016 20:39

Not enough to keep him, IMHO.

Marchate · 14/02/2016 20:40

He's a waste of your precious time x

SweetBabyJebus · 14/02/2016 20:40

Ditch.

MidnightVelvetthe5th · 14/02/2016 20:42

Hi mozz, nice to see you again :)

What the fuck do you expect me to say to this?! Imagine if it was one of your friends, what would you say?:)

You're worth more than this Wine

ScrambledSmegs · 14/02/2016 20:43

You know you really don't have to know that someone's a crap partner to break off the relationship? You can just not want to be with them anymore.

You obviously don't want to be with him anymore. It's enough Flowers

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 14/02/2016 20:44

I know I know, and my friends are telling me the same

OP posts:
ScrambledSmegs · 14/02/2016 20:44

(Obviously he is crap, and not worth being with, but just saying!).

Luc28 · 14/02/2016 20:44

👎

ouryve · 14/02/2016 20:46

It's either a bit of heartache and disappointment now, or a hell of a lot of misery in the future.

Take your pick.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 14/02/2016 20:47

But I do want to be with him, our relationship was perfect for the first 12 months.
He was loving, supportive, fun, etc etc
Since we broke up and got back together it's got worse and worse

OP posts:
ouryve · 14/02/2016 20:47

And with guys like this, I always have a suspicion about the real reason for the break up of their marriage, regardless of what he might say it is.

timelytess · 14/02/2016 20:50

"Bye, mister." And block.

pocketsaviour · 14/02/2016 20:50

Since we broke up and got back together it's got worse and worse

Really?! Come on love, you know what to do.

Angieyy1 · 14/02/2016 20:51

I think you know it's not enough? x

Angieyy1 · 14/02/2016 20:53

But I do want to be with him, our relationship was perfect for the first 12 months.
He was loving, supportive, fun, etc etc

It's always great In the beginning that's what we hold on to ...but this is who he is now is it enough

Needtoprotect16 · 14/02/2016 20:53

No. Just no.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 14/02/2016 20:56

Aah I've missed mumsnet Smile

I'm not sure I can face the world of pof & tinder again!!!

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 14/02/2016 21:06

You sure know how to scrape the bottom of a barrel, OP, but in view of the 3 positives he brings to your table why not emotionally disengage from this hiding to nothing and keep him as a FWB while you look for an unattached guy who's worthy of your affections?

choceclair123 · 14/02/2016 21:07

Get the cash back he owes u first then dump!

Trills · 14/02/2016 21:16

You are worth more than this.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 14/02/2016 21:20

When I mention any of it to him I get 'oh I knew you'd take it the wrong way'
Or he'll go home cos he can't deal with confrontation
Or he lists all the nice things he's done recently (build my shed, get furniture for dcs bedroom and put it together

OP posts:
VeronicaDinner · 14/02/2016 21:20

He doesn't sound the worst ever, but like he's not putting sufficient effort in.

Yes, this is enough of a reason to break up with him.

Personally, it would depend on how much I would miss him if he was gone as to whether I would offer for him to shape up.

angryangryyoungwoman · 14/02/2016 21:22

If you are having to ask, you are not happy...

VeronicaDinner · 14/02/2016 21:23

He sounds a lot like an ex of mine, actually. Didn't listen to how I felt. I was always just causing problems by taking things the wrong way. And then he'd list all the reasons I owed him for nice things he'd done so that meant he should never be in trouble.

Yes, that is why he is now an ex.

toffeeboffin · 14/02/2016 21:34

Get rid.