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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I already know .......

47 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 14/02/2016 20:38

It's been a while since I've been on here but could really do with the no nonsense honesty from the mnetters

So here goes:
Been together 19 months

Met his kids once (which tipped his ex into a rage and subsequently ended our relationship for a short time)

Still not divorced (after 2 1/2 years)
Massive debt still not being dealt with

I've paid for 2 holidays which he pays me back £100 per month for however he will happily pay for his rugby tours, Xmas presents etc

Bought me one present at Xmas
that he moaned about, plus some horrendous underwear that I asked him to return

Last time we went out he said 'I'd forgotten how pretty you are when you do your make up'

Has no relationship with his alcoholic father or his sister
States he has a difficult relationship with his mother but visits her weekly

Gets a bit sulky if I have other plans on the days he has free to see me (which is only work nights, nights where he doesn't get a lie in, or when he's not with his children'

After saying he loves me for the last year he recently declared that he just says it and doesn't think he's capable of love and is 'dead inside'

Positives:
Nice to my dcs
Does man jobs
Above average sex

Go on ladies give it to me straight

OP posts:
janethegirl2 · 14/02/2016 21:41

Get any money you are owed then ditch him, sorry but he's being an arse!

BigQueenBee · 14/02/2016 22:31

Why are you even contemplating going on OLD? Do you not think it is possible to be happy without a partner ( at least for a while).

Hissy · 14/02/2016 22:38

He is showing you now who he is.the abusive partner threads are full of comments like this:

But I do want to be with him, our relationship was perfect for the first 12 months.

It will NEVER be that way again. Ever ever ever.

Even if he isn't card carrying abusive, it's not good enough. Not by a long chalk.

He is doing literally the minimum to remain in position, but even then he can't help himself, he moans and reminds you of his deeds..

Hissy · 14/02/2016 22:40

He pretended to be perfect, you broke up, and took him back. He knew you were hooked then. You see?

A normal bloke would work harder to keep you... He established how much Crap he could get away with... And you still had him back.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2016 22:45

Listen to your friends

And start learning who are you without a man. It's a whole lot better than putting up with substandard pillocks like this.

goddessofsmallthings · 14/02/2016 22:52

How much money does he owe you?

MozzchopsThirty · 14/02/2016 22:54

Anyfucker Smile you're still here

I don't 'need' a man and am quite self sufficient, I never ever plan on living with one again!!!!
I'm not averse to being on my own at all

OP posts:
MozzchopsThirty · 14/02/2016 22:55

It was over £1k, now down to £300

OP posts:
Allalonenow · 14/02/2016 22:56

Get all your money back ASAP, then dump him swiftly and firmly.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2016 23:00

yep, get the last 300quid then dump

AnyFucker · 14/02/2016 23:00

still here, mozzy

goddessofsmallthings · 14/02/2016 23:12

3 months to go... make a list of all the things you need doing around the house/garden and ditch him after he's made his last payment. Sorted! Smile

MyKingdomForBrie · 14/02/2016 23:15

Get rid. I'd build furniture for you for Christ sake, it's hardly favour of the century.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2016 23:18

yep, I can do a bit of flatpack building

you just follow the instructions innit

CockwombleJeff · 14/02/2016 23:22

Please OP - banish this energy vampire from your life.
Channel your energies into something that makes you feel good Thanks

BigQueenBee · 14/02/2016 23:37

So you've told him you have no intention of ever living with a man OP?

You're not really giving him a lot of hope.

I'm playing devil's advocate here;but do you think he views you as someone he might have a future with?

I'm not condoning his behaviour btw and I think you should write off the £300 and be shot of him.

Guiltypleasures001 · 15/02/2016 01:16

Oh op positives
Nice to kids blah blah get em a puppy
Does DIY that's what youtubes for
Above average sex that's what love honeys for

You came on here and welcome back btw for us to kick your arse so you could kick his Wine

lorelei9 · 15/02/2016 02:12

"Aah I've missed mumsnet

I'm not sure I can face the world of pof & tinder again!!!"

Why would need to? be single and happy.

I missed MN so I might a posting this from holiday, lol.

MozzchopsThirty · 15/02/2016 07:57

He's no interest in living with me, it's not practical due to the fact that him and his ex/kids live an hour away from me so just for school run not possible

I don't want to live with anyone other than dcs I just can't see the benefit

OP posts:
MozzchopsThirty · 15/02/2016 07:59

He's said he's coming over Tuesday, after texting 'we really are struggling aren't we'
Apparently to 'make up' Hmm

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/02/2016 08:00

He has made that choice, has he ?

And is that what you want ?

DoreenLethal · 15/02/2016 08:06

Is he the boss of you?

Honestly, let the £300 go and see it as an investment in your future.

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