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Original poster

To text or not?

51 replies

zaalitje · 13/02/2016 17:40

I've been on four dates with a guy, he seemed really keen and at date 3 I told him to slow things down a little, he seemed OK with that and like he had taken on board what I said.

He asked over a week ago if we could do something for Valentines, he was meant to be coming to me tonight, at 6, having food, maybe going out for a couple drinks then the day tomorrow together, nice country walk and big Sunday lunch.

So, apart from a "Good Morning" WhatsApp yesterday morning I've heard nothing from him, sent one message as I left work last night and a "Morning" message this morning. I know he's looked at the message and been online several times since I sent it, but nothing.

Even on Thursday though he was talking about cooking together, that he'd bring a couple bottles of wine.

This, I assume, is his rather crap way of dumping me. That's fine, it's only been 4 dates, I'm a big girl and can handle it, just annoyed how disrespectful he is being by blanking me.

So, good ladies, do I text? If so what? I'm currently fighting itchy fingers!

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 13/02/2016 17:42

I'd certainly wait until after 6 before I did anything.

DanglyEarOrnaments · 13/02/2016 17:45

I wouldn't personally, but then most would disagree, I would never bother with a guy who did that, even if it upset me to leave it.

Sairze · 13/02/2016 17:48

Despite the fact he hasn't responded to a message since yesterday morning?

Leaning toward texting "You should have told me you'd changed your mind. Would have saved me spending money on food for tonight"

Or

"You should have just told me you'd changed your mind"

HelpfulChap · 13/02/2016 17:51

I agree with Sairze

Otherwise, nothing.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 13/02/2016 17:55

Was the conversation about slowing things down before or after making plans for V-Day?

Anyway, it looks like he's either spat his dummy or lost interest. If he was going to come over tonight I'd assume he'd have messaged to double check times and that you are still ok for him to come over.

I don't think I'd text him. And then if he ever text me again I'd reply "who is this?"

Sairze · 13/02/2016 17:57

I think I'm most frustrated as I could have made other plans for tonight, a friend I haven't seen for a while was in the local area and asked about catching up, I said I couldn't make it as I already had plans, too late to meet now.

I'm also grateful that he's shown me his true self before I got more emotionally involved.

Sairze · 13/02/2016 17:58

I'm the OP btw, name change fail

SwedishEdith · 13/02/2016 17:58

He'll turn up at 6 with an OTT bunch of flowers.

WipsGlitter · 13/02/2016 17:59

So it's two minutes to six. Are we to assume he's not there?!

liberatedwine · 13/02/2016 18:00

I would chalk it up to experience and definitely NOT text him, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you're the least bit bothered.

Onwards and upwards Flowers Chocolate

MuttonCadet · 13/02/2016 18:02

I bet he's there now, he didn't cancel so why assume the plans had changed from Thursday to Saturday?

Sairze · 13/02/2016 18:04

Conversation hadn't really slowed, it did a little when I asked him to slow down a couple weeks ago but we were still texting regularly.

It was an OLD thing, I assume someone else took his interest. Just annoyed with his rudeness, and frustrated I have missed a rare chance to catch up with a good friend.

honeyroar · 13/02/2016 18:05

Its still worth contacting your friend, just tell her the person you were meant to be seeing is being flaky and you're now regretting not meeting him/her, if they're out somewhere could you pop over and catch up.

And while it's highly tempting contacting him and telling him he's a let down, I wouldn't bother. He's not worth the effort if he has let you down already..

MuttonCadet · 13/02/2016 18:05

Oh, sorry, well he's bloody rude.

Can you rate people on OLD? I'd score him very low!

SwedishEdith · 13/02/2016 18:09

Argh, sorry. Here's some Flowers from us instead.

Delete his number, move on.

choceclair123 · 13/02/2016 18:12

I wouldn't text him. Delete delete delete Thanks

Sairze · 13/02/2016 18:14

Itchy fingers won

"Changing your mind about tonight is OK. Not bothering to tell me is not."

CrazyDuchess · 13/02/2016 18:15

Agreed don't contact, delete/ block then start again.

Bloody rude though and I would struggle to bite my tongue!

Sairze · 13/02/2016 18:15

Ahh well, means I get a whole bottle of very nice red wine to myself :)

CrazyDuchess · 13/02/2016 18:15

X post - well now it's out of your system I'd still block!

CrazyDuchess · 13/02/2016 18:16

Lol silver lining!

loveyoutothemoon · 13/02/2016 18:19

No don't text, block him. I couldn't be doing with being ignored. Deal breaker so early on!

honeyroar · 13/02/2016 18:21

Oh well. It wasn't a bad message to send! Just don't get involved in a discussion if he texts back saying crap like "I didn't think it was a firm plan" etc. If he does just don't reply.

MazzleDazzle · 13/02/2016 18:22

Any chance there's a completely reasonable explanation?

Either way, I personally wouldn't have text him, but I see that you already have. It now looks like he's backed off a bit after you're advice and now he's got you doing the chasing.

Unless there's an innocent explanation, don't stay at home on your own. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction. Delete his number and move on!

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 13/02/2016 18:24

I think your valentines plans were a bit ott for date 4, sorry! You should probably have made plans to see the friend on principle