how do you do it (single parents)

[Butwhyohwhy]

This may sound like a silly question, but EA exp has me doubting myself all the time.

I'm going on holiday for 9nights in March, this falls on exp's weekend with DS and another full day that he would normally have with him.

Exp is saying he's not happy about it and doesn't want to lose this time with DS.

If you're in this situation how do you work it? Do you offer to make up that lost time, as in exp would have DC for the next few weekends, all weekend?

Or just start from scratch as the weekends normally are?

I work mon-from 9-5 and only get DS one full weekend a month plus one weekend day. As exp quit his job to avoid CMS payments he could easily have DS for extra time through the week but refuses and will only accept weekend time (so things are more difficult for me and I don't have quality time with DS on my time off at weekends)

Please give me your tuppence worth!

[HandyWoman]

Allguns I just applied to have my passport in my maiden name, sent my birth certificate with the passport form.

I didn't have my marriage cert (at solicitors for divorce proceedings) or a Decree Nisi or Decree Absolute (I still don't have either). But I now have a passport in my original name. Still not yet divorced though not for lack of trying

They asked me to sign a declaration to say that I now use my maiden name for all purposes.

Job done and saved myself the solicitors fee. Don't let anyone tell you your name is dependent on your marital status. It isn't. Nor should it be.

[Butwhyohwhy]

I applied for maintenance officially, and he quit his job. He has other means of income which as an accountant is able to hide very well. He doesn't need to work. I would recieve no child maintenance at all going through CMS. So I closed the account and said I would collect DS once a week as those were his 'terms' for paying cm as humiliating as it is, I agreed. I wish I was in a even slightly better paid on than I am now and I could tell him to sod off, but cm means I can just about pay all bills. I NEED it. And that's with tax credits which I'm eligible for

[HandyWoman]

As an aside, are you looking for avenues to better paid work, OP? Or is there a friend who could look after ds so you can do overtime? This is not a reflection on you, but I fear it's the only route to being free of the grip of this loser.

And also, why the hell in 2016 is it possible for men to hide their incomes from the authorities?

These men really are a special sort of entitled shitbag all of their own.

And until he starts paying a reasonable amount of maintenance you should shrug off his feigned concern about contact with ds. If he really have a shit he would pay towards his upkeep. Hope you have lots if RL support OP.

[summerwinterton]

So he blackmails you into allowing his contact when he wants with you doing the running and then he will deign to pay maintenance.

He sure has done a number on you hasn't he? And he lies to the taxman too I presume.

So if he is this skint he won't afford court over contact will he.

[HandyWoman]

Shop him to the Revenue?

[Allgunsblazing]

handy to know , thank you!

[Butwhyohwhy]

Yeah he sure has done a number on me. He refused to pay for more than 8 months last year because he is 'unemployed' and unable to. Yet all the time putting pressure on me to agree to DS going to a fee paying school. He would take me to court in an instant, and I wouldn't be able to bring up the topic of him dodging child maintenance

I love my job, and if I did the same job in the city I would earn approx 6k more. But the commute, the stress of getting there, the toll that would take on my car as I would be travelling throughout the day too, due to the nature of the job. I feel my quality of life would not be worth the extra money, and I would need care before and after school as I wouldn't get home til well after 6 if I'm lucky. But perhaps it's something I'll need to reconsider. But yes there are other career paths i could seek in due course now I have a fair bit of experience in my field

[Butwhyohwhy]

And I've already shopped him for tax evasion. This has come to nothing so far..

[summerwinterton]

child support claim where they state he doesn't earn enough - isn't there something about his lifestyle being beyond his declared income, ie that would prove he should pay more?

And fee paying school, which you are made to pay for too??

[LovelyFriend]

sorry to hear he is still bullying you.

keep all evidence of the money he is paying you now, and then at some point in the future if he claims he can't pay you can provide evidence that he can and will.

Your lawyer sounds - well dreadful.

Are you saying you no longer work weekends so EOW would now work? Then change to that.