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Original poster

How have others celebrated their divorce coming through

41 replies

devasted · 26/01/2016 12:26

Hi just wondering that really how have people celebrated getting divorced. I went to my solicitors yesterday and filed for divorce, am not expecting my ex to make it easy and im sure there is going to be difficulties along the way.

And although it is not what i wanted at first or expected i realise now he is a massive twat and just how abusive and controlling he was throughout the marriage. And that actually it is the right thing that we get divorced.

It felt strange handing over the marriage cert and thinking back to our wedding day but i wanted to know how others felt and celebrated when they went through this process.

OP posts:
AstrantiaMallow · 26/01/2016 12:41

I'm hopefully getting to the end of the process soon.
'Celebrating' feels like a weird word, but maybe it's just me as my divorce has been going on for a year now! I won't celebrate, but intend to try and rebuild my life and make it a happy one for my kids and me, with only good people in it. That's the plan anyway.

ALaughAMinute · 26/01/2016 12:57

My divorce has so far taken 7 months and I'm just about to apply for the decree absolute so I expect the divorce to be final within the next 6 weeks but I hope it will be sooner.

I plan to celebrate by going on a few dates and having a holiday. Not sure what else I will do, I'm still working on it.

My h was also an abusive and controlling twat and I can't wait to get rid of him!

amarmai · 26/01/2016 13:49

i celebrated by cutting off the waist length hair much admired by him and his family. Except i fell asleep in the chair and woke up with a man cut! Maybe the hairdresser was 'fate' pushing me in a new direction.

ohdearymeee · 26/01/2016 13:56

I've started mine this week after much deliberation, but I think its the best thing to do. I'm fed up of feeling in limbo and its been a year since we split. I hoped I could see a glimmer of wanting to get back with him but I cant, I've changed so its for the best. It should be straightforward just hope he returns the petition without any hassle.
Yes I did reminisce on my wedding day..very sad. but time to move on.

Derbyday · 26/01/2016 17:31

Mine took so long that getting the actual decree absolute was a massive anti-climax. I did have some Bolly though.

Fourormore · 26/01/2016 17:38

I didn't, in the end. Well, I did pour myself a "Grounds for Divorce" cocktail (Midori and Absinthe) but otherwise, it was kind of a bit... sombre? I was glad to not be married to him anymore but there was still some grieving for what I'd hoped from being married.

moonfacebaby · 26/01/2016 18:07

My divorce has finally come through after 2.5 years - so I'm planning a party....new beginnings Smile

I will dance the night away with all my lovely friends, drink a bit too much & embrace my new chapter in life

mineofuselessinformation · 26/01/2016 18:28

I didn't celebrate as such, but I did go out and buy myself a nice dress ring (I figured I got a ring when I got married, so I should have one when I got divorced!)

jazzyg · 26/01/2016 18:28

I filed for divorce in 2012 and I finally got some courage as I am now waiting for a court date to sort it all as he has been abusive and manipulative at dragging it all out (thru mediation, solicitors) to try and avoid any financial payout on his part. So when it does finally come through I will probably cry with relief then arrange a night out with some close friends!

comingintomyown · 26/01/2016 22:39

I felt very sad and in absolutely no way in the mood for celebration but you are talking about starting a process I think ? Not the day the A4 envelope is delivered through the letter box. Divorce taught me the odd reality that things for the best that make you happy can also gut you at times

LineyReborn · 26/01/2016 22:42

No. I was tired and fed up with it, after two years. The arrival if the decree absolute was a non event.

Getting child support was a better day tbh.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/01/2016 03:06

My divorce was finalized on July 3rd (many years ago). I had the biggest and best 4th of July party EVER!! BBQ, plenty of wine, a cake, and a great fireworks show right down the street. OK, maybe the fireworks weren't in my honour. But it sure felt like it!

venusinscorpio · 27/01/2016 04:29

I had a colleague I was close to (Australian, if it makes any difference) who had had a "divorce party". She said it was a thing (this was about 12 years ago). I remember boggling at that!

My mum got a (non-divorce themed) tattoo!

WavingNotDrowning · 27/01/2016 05:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DulcetMoans · 27/01/2016 05:24

When I went on a hen do a couple of years show came across a divorce party. They were basically just another hen do but all dressed in black - divorcee had black veil on. They seemed to be having a great time! Had photos taken with our bride and reassures her it wouldn't be the same for her! Haha.

RiceCrispieTreats · 27/01/2016 07:06

I had a party. Invited friends - several even came from overseas! We went out for dinner, then dancing. It was a lot of fun.

But then, a whole lot of people were delighted by my decision to divorce.

SelfLoathing · 27/01/2016 09:11

celebrate a divorce? wrong word and sounds pretty fucked up to be honest. if you want a word for the end of something
bad commemorate is probably better. no one 'celebrates' the end of a war or the holocaust. try focussing on the start of a new future rather than 'celebrating' the divorce.

BlondeOnATreadmill · 27/01/2016 09:16

I got engaged to my lovely DH, the day that my divorce came through Grin

willievertrust · 27/01/2016 16:26

i applied last march and it has recently come through, not many difficulties just arranging the consent order and delays in signing. i had a very unhappy relationship and am now with someone perfect for me, i dont need to celebrate i'm just happy to be well rid plus i think its a bit crass to celebrate, ive just moved on.

magpie17 · 27/01/2016 16:48

I was actually really upset and cried buckets when the divorce was finally finished. It was weird as I was very pragmatic about the split, it was pretty amicable and I was glad it was over. Loads of people where all 'yay, congratulations' about it and it annoyed me because I didn't feel it was something to celebrate. It's not something to regret either, I was just, sort of, deflated? Ultimately I also felt utterly exhausted and drained by the process and whilst I was relieved it was over I think I needed time to regroup and think about things.

I'm just saying this because these things are funny and can hit you in strange ways. I had expected elation and felt quite the opposite.

Goodbetterbest · 27/01/2016 18:30

I thought I'd have a lovely party, drinking and dancing and singing in my kitchen with champagne and cocktails til 3am.

As it happened I felt a little sad, reflected on how he damaged me, thought about that wonderful wedding day which changed nothing and meant so little to him. It was seeing the place of marriage on the letter which got me.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/01/2016 18:44

SelfLoathing Actually the VE and VJ Day celebrations around the world at the end of WWII belie your assertion that people don't celebrate the end of a war. And of course no one would 'celebrate' the end of the holocaust.

And yes, I certainly did celebrate receiving the piece of paper that severed forever any legal ties to an abusive man. I celebrated being able to take back my own name. I celebrated his debts no longer being mine. I celebrated no longer having to pay for his health insurance. I celebrated the fact that he was no longer legally my 'next of kin'. I celebrated the fact that I would never, ever have to see or speak to him ever again.

My new 'future' had already begun, it began the moment I kicked him out. That was the day of deep thankfulness, the day I could reclaim my own life.

WithYourKissMyLifeBegins · 27/01/2016 19:00

I get being relieved if the bloke was a violent, abusive fucker but I find the trend of celebrating divorce a tad sad otherwise.

Danceintherain2015 · 27/01/2016 19:43

Some friends threw my DPa "divorce party " which I attended as his new GF- which was a bit odd !😃 But his divorce was a long time coming !! And the staff in the Chinese Resturant it was in were all 😳!

There was a total mix up with my paperwork (and it got lost in the post ) so I got mine about a month after it actually happened which meant it it was a non- event really!

magpie17 · 27/01/2016 20:20

Oh I celebrated taking back my own name, but you don't need to be divorced to do that (at least in Scotland). I changed my by deed poll about a week after we split, cost about £30 off the Internet and was accepted by everywhere that needed documentation. Well worth it if a name change would give you a psychological boost instead of waiting.