My friend was net stalking people I used to date

[bodenbiscuit]

I've had various conversations with him in the past about people I'm seeing etc. He's been away for a while. Suddenly, yesterday he sent me a whatsapp message asking about someone I used to date ages ago, who is not a friend of mine on Facebook. He then sent me pictures of him from Facebook that he had obviously copied saying 'is this him? It obviously is because he has an unusual name' I said this was a strange thing for him to do and he replied 'oh well I can make my own enquiries then'. He has done this sort of thing before and I don't like it - it makes me uncomfortable. So I told him this and now he has blocked me.

I really don't think this is a normal way to behave is it?

Not normal. Does he fancy you?

Not normal. Be grateful he has blocked you and let the friendship fizzle. I can't see any reason for him being able to justify doing this. Agree with who, does your friend fancy you? Doesn't excuse it, mind.

Really odd.

I think he does. But what annoys me is the way he was demanding for me to tell him who these people were as if I owe him an explanation.

Think yourself very lucky he has blocked you. End contact. Poor boundary issues like that are a worrying sign of control freakery which is a worrying sign of toxic and harmful behaviour if they are given room to influence you.

You're right Peace. I used to think that he knew me really well but maybe he's just manipulative. I've known him for many years. I'm confused because I always thought he cared about me.

I agree Arf and now he's just cut me off. I just don't understand his motivation. I'm upset because I really thought he was my friend and cared about me.

He's always tried to make me believe that he has my best interests at heart. I'm beginning to feel that I'm a terrible judge on whether someone is a good person to have in my life or not.

By blocking you I think he is trying to make you come running... please don't. It is weird behaviour and he is manipulating you! I think you are a pretty good judge as you have come on here knowing something is wrong!!

He's blocked me on every medium so I can't contact him at all. I wouldn't try to go running to him because I think his behaviour has been really unreasonable and that's his problem and not mine. I would prefer him to block me than to do weirder and weirder stuff and sending me messages I have to deal with.

Good. If he repents and unblocks you on anything, block him right back! You're better off without this stalkerish weirdo in your life.

Not normal. Very worrying.

First, it's stalkery.

Second, he's acting like you owe him an explanation, you don't!

Third, he is so obsessed by whatever, he's lost perspective to the point he's blocked you on everything that is so far from normal that I'm a bit worried about you that you had to ask. I think your barometer of normal is a bit faulty (I mean that more kindly than it sounds).

It's a level of possessiveness and anger that you really don't want in your life. Leave him blocked and don't contact him again.

No, that's it now. I certainly won't go running back - it's stressful.

AyeAmarok - I have AS so often I don't really see people's behaviour for what it is. I spend a lot of time confused about people's actions.

In the middle of the night I got this email from him;

'bodenbiscuit, you are a shady character who lies. Good luck'

This, just because I won't admit to him whether the people he sends pictures to I have slept with or not.

WTF!!!

Block his email address and don't engage. He's weird!

I just don't understand him. He went away to India for work and has come back really strange.

What the actual fuck.

Don't respond to anything he sends, ever. I would recommend you block him from every medium you can.

Do you have any mutual friends who you could ask if they have noticed anything strange in his behaviour recently?

Just write back "oh fuck off, it's none of your business," and never respond to anything else.

Sure he isn't tracking you on here?

I'd text back " do fuck off you stalky weirdo". And never contact again.

But it's probably more sensible not to respond at all. Just be very thankful this person is out of your life.

I think he's shown himself up for who he really is. He sent me another nasty email saying he feels sorry for my children having me as a mother, basically and also that if I respond to him he'll call the police. he's the one who was acting like a stalker!

Ah, well. I don't really care any more. I didn't know he was a spiteful person.