My friend was net stalking people I used to date

[bodenbiscuit]

I've had various conversations with him in the past about people I'm seeing etc. He's been away for a while. Suddenly, yesterday he sent me a whatsapp message asking about someone I used to date ages ago, who is not a friend of mine on Facebook. He then sent me pictures of him from Facebook that he had obviously copied saying 'is this him? It obviously is because he has an unusual name' I said this was a strange thing for him to do and he replied 'oh well I can make my own enquiries then'. He has done this sort of thing before and I don't like it - it makes me uncomfortable. So I told him this and now he has blocked me.

I really don't think this is a normal way to behave is it?

No, we don't have mutual friends. He doesn't live near me (probably a good thing!)

How about you block him? He's obviously unblocked you to some extent to be sending these messages. Really it will give your mind peace from this idiot.

Wow, YOU are ''shady'' because you won't put yourself up in the dock for his interrogations?!

What an odd ball.

How do I block someone via email? It's an iCloud account.

Holy shitballs!

Poor you OP, finding out someone you thought was a friend is like this must be horrible.

Just block and try not to think about him.

Consider it a close shave. What a weirdo.

Did you meet him internet dating and friend zone him and he was (secretly) angry about that?

If you respond to him, he'll call the police!! classic classic drama bait. he desperately wants you to respond. or if you don't, he can tell himself that you were afraid to. win win for him.

what a weirdo.

Yes, we actually met on POF about 10 years ago but it seemed to evolve into a friendship and then both of us were with other people.

The tone of the messages he sent me on whatsapp was like an interrogation and I just denied everything he asked me and then asked him why he was obsessing over it. Now he has accused me of 'hitting out' at other people. I assume, because I pointed out that he's obsessive. He just sounds incredibly bitter and angry.

Call the police??

"Hello police? I'd like to report a crime. I texted someone, and she replied!"

OP, google "How to block someone from emailing me with [email provider]" (e.g gmail, hotmail, etc) and you should get step by step instructions.

On your phone just do long press and you should get the option to block or blacklist.

He sounds obsessed with you.

My ex went from madly in love. Sexually obsessed to hating me and wishing me dead within weeks

About once a year he still sends nasty emails.

He blocked me on FB for years then unblocked so I could read his catty messages he'd leave about me in mutual friends statuses.

There are some oddly behaved people about.

Block him on your phone, email and everywhere else. If a message gets through somewhere, don't respond.

This is deeply weird behaviour.

Might be worth keeping a log and screen shots of what you gave so far in case it gets worse.

This is not anyone who has your best interests at heart.

Very very odd. Think you've had a lucky escape there.

sounds like his plan was that you'd one day 'see' that you should consider yourself lucky to have him. And now he gets that that won't happy he's angry with himself for 'wasting' ten years on mere friendship. What a waste.

Well, there's something very wrong with him.

He sounds like he's spiralling into some weird world where he's your saviour but you've spurned his affections... & clear superiority over you the sinner and floozy. Ugh.

You've somehow crossed his world view and got him very riled up indeed. You need to protect yourself from his rantings, not just physically protect yourself (as he's far away phew!), but protect yourself emotionally too, as he's trying to hurt you, and although you know he's being very off, he can still hurt your feelings and leave you with a sour taste in your mouth.

After its died down a bit, I wonder if you can make a clear divide in your mind from the positive friend memories you've got from the past 10yrs, and the unpleasant end to it all.

I know there is nothing I can do about it but I just feel upset because I don't think I have done anything wrong and he's trying to make me feel like a monster. I think he definitely has lost perspective somehow.

Thank you for the replies

I have blocked him on everything I can and redirected his emails to spam. Thinking back, in the past he has occasionally been a bit spiteful before. Ah well...

Redirecting his emails is good, but don't do it in a way they'll be deleted. Keep them (where you don't need to see them), just in case.

Keep everything. If it gets worse, you're going to need it!

And, listen, don't waste too much headspace hoping he's not going to make you into some kind of monster. There's nothing you can do about that. You're not a monster, and his opinion has proven to be questionable, at best.

Luckily I'm on antidepressants for my anxiety and so I don't feel as bad as I probably would otherwise.

Preemptive, I have redirected the messages to spam so hopefully they will stay in there.

My spam folder auto deletes itself periodically - check yours. If it does, create a new folder - I suggest naming it "AssholeRantings" or similar, and have them move there.

Oh I see - good point. I will try to sort it.