Pregnany & found out partner visited 'happy endings' massage parlour

[Timtoo]

I am feeling absolutely devastated right now... Last night I found some messages on partners phone and did some research. He has been visiting a tantric masseur in London and paid for 'happy endings'. I'm 28 weeks pregnant and at the time it was just before I got pregnant and for the first three months of my pregnancy. I confronted him this morning and he seems sorry and assures me that it was just during that time. There seems to be no evidence that it happened after. Please help, I'm devastated and feel utter betrayal right now mixed with anger and complete sadness. I feel humiliated. Should I forgive him or leave?

[Timtoo]

Wallybanters... Thank you, I shall do that

[sykadelic]

I couldn't let it go, but that doesn't mean you can't.

For me it wouldn't be so much what he did, but his reasons for doing it. Though he says it's his fault he did essentially blame you because "you weren't feeling very sexual". I would struggle with any "hiccup" in our relationship being used as another excuse for cheating, my trust would just be gone. Not to mention I would feel "cheap" any time I did have sex with him. Just another service he felt he deserved and/or needed.

I just don't see how he didn't realise that was cheating. How could allowing another person to touch him in a manner that got him sexually aroused and resulted in a "happy ending" be anything but cheating? AND if he didn't realise it was wrong, why did he never mention it to you? My DH knows when I go to get a massage, hair cut... pretty much what I'm doing outside of the norm, so he KNEW it was wrong, just didn't want you to know.

I don't think he realised he'd be found out, I have no doubt he's sorry he's been caught, sorry for hurting you so deeply... but I also have no doubt he'd have done it again if you hadn't found out.

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

How are you and the LO doing today Tim?

Do you have family that can visit today? Someone else that can bring your DD to visit for a cuddle (and a sneaky sniff of his hair - or is that just me that gets comfort from that )

It's a very expensive website too huh? From £120 for a posh wank....

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

Sorry DS not DD

[magoria]

Hang on a second.

He said he did this before OP got pregnant.

Presumably they were having sex to create this pregnancy so her being pregnant and off sex is a red herring and not a reason in the slightest.

This means he did it because he wanted it in addition to any sex he and OP were having. Maybe even the same days.

Vile man.

[Jan45]

Just remember OP you don't have to get past anything, the majority of women would see this as a deal breaker, you don't have see it any differently, regardless of what he says.

He's a liar and a cheat, there's no getting away from that now. Don't beat yourself up about HIS inadequacies.

[Guiltypleasures001]

Blimey the rates they charge, that's taking the money out of the family pot as well.