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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

is this normal?

27 replies

star8369 · 06/08/2015 11:32

Me and my (ex)boyfriend are in the process of finding him a property so he can move I have anxiety but have started having panic attacks is this normal? and what can I do to get past it?

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Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 11:33

That should have said move out.

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pocketsaviour · 06/08/2015 11:33

Is there something in particular that is triggering these, do you see any pattern?

What treatment have you received for your anxiety - are you on meds? I would go to the GP and explain what's happened and ask fro further treatment.

pocketsaviour · 06/08/2015 11:34

Ahh, sorry x-post - now I see why you would be anxious. Can you withdraw from the process of finding him somewhere? After all if you have split up, it's his responsibility to get himself sorted.

pinkyredrose · 06/08/2015 11:35

I think the panic attacks will ease when he goes. What's stopping him leaving immediately?

Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 11:35

I don't want to be on my own (I know how sad that sounds) I am on propanalol

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Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 11:38

he has nowhere he can go immediately pinky

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pinkyredrose · 06/08/2015 11:44

Why can't he stay with family or friends? Did you not want to split with him then?

Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 11:49

that is one of the options we are looking at I didn't really want to break up but knew it was coming have tried talking to him about it but he just keeps making exscuses as to why he cant talk (he's tired etc)

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InTheBox · 06/08/2015 11:53

How long have were you together? The stress of the situation could very well be causing the panic attacks.

Keep telling yourself that this phase it transitory and it will pass. I've been looking into mindfulness as a way of keeping my thoughts and emotions in control and I'd also recommend it. Have you good friends and support in RL? If the panic attacks are rendering you hopeless then make another appointment with your GP.

Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 11:57

together 2 years box yes I have good support in my family and friends

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pinkyredrose · 06/08/2015 12:07

In your previous posts you talk about splitting up in November last yr plus you were so fed up of him never putting you first. You can do better you know, you deserve someone who'll treat you properly. You won't be on your own, you have you DC and your family.

Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 13:03

supposed to be 2 year anniversary on Monday Sad

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Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 13:38

have just spoke to him on the phone and he said he is going to stay with one of his friends

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Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 14:10

I just feel so Down about it all don't know what to do Sad

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pocketsaviour · 06/08/2015 14:13

Go and see your GP, Star. You might need your meds upping slightly or they may be able to recommend something else.

Do your family and friends live nearby? Can you make plans to see them more regularly (once he has gone) so you won't feel so alone?

Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 14:17

I will pocket yeah all my friends and family are close by

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Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 18:53

well he has been and packed a bag for tonight and is going to get someone with a car for the rest of the stuffSad

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InTheBox · 06/08/2015 19:02

Star, so sorry you're feeling so sad. Break-ups are never easy or fun and coupled with anxiety no wonder you're feeling down. Here's a hand from me and feel free to post away. See this as a new chapter in your life. Do you have any dcs?

Original poster
star8369 · 06/08/2015 19:32

yeah box I have two dds oldest nearly 13 younest just turned 9

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Original poster
star8369 · 07/08/2015 09:53

well doctors were no help have just thrown more anxiety meds at me Sad

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InTheBox · 07/08/2015 11:10

Are you able to self-refer to find something more suitable i.e. CBT? If you can afford to go private it's worth looking into. Take things day by day.

Original poster
star8369 · 07/08/2015 11:55

I asked the doctor about counselling but she said there would be no point as by the time it was arranged I would probably be better

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InTheBox · 07/08/2015 12:19

Your doctor sounds incredibly flippant. Anxiety is not the common cold. Surprised that she could be that dismissive.

Original poster
star8369 · 07/08/2015 14:30

I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep until all of this goes away

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InTheBox · 07/08/2015 17:45

I understand that feeling star

here's my hand, you post away my love, post away, I'm listening.