it has just dawned on me that living with MIL at dh's request, especially sleeping in the bedroom next to hers is sick.

[suzywong]

As you may or may not know we live with MIL. I have tried to square this in my head in all sorts of ways: it's the most cost effective way to live right now, it's what most families outside the western world do, it's only temporary til we build a (very small) wing of our own on the house, it's no hardship so just belt up and thank your lucky stars you have a roof over your head.

But ...it has dawned on me that DH has reverted to the emotional repetoire of a 12 year old since we have been here as far as our relationship is concerend and cultural norms aside, is it or is it not somewhat ewwwwwwwwwwwww to be content to sleep in a room adjacent to your mother's with your wife, not that there is ever anything other than sleeping going on in it.

Discuss

You are a finer woman than me, SuzyWong!

PMSL!

Ah suzy.... must talk to your MIL about your tights changing exploits on top of London buses.

Just make sure to scream especially loud won't you!

thank you

well that 's just it, a woman who can change her hosiery on top of a 134 bus is, by nature, a fox. I am fed up of living like a neutered teenager.

This is one of those Great Cultural Divides, isn't it? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww to you but not to him.

How long will it be until the Wong Wing is available?

yah bollocks to your fantasy that if only MIL wasn't there wong nights would be filled with passion and jumping off wardrobes

arf

Message withdrawn

hello Jan

Well the Wong Wing is in motion, I am on the case with draftsmen, planning etc etc and of course it is there in all glorious 3 dimension in my head every day, however nothing really concrete for at least 6 months

The thing is I do deserve a bloody medal and dh sometimes says this but in the manner of sarcastic sour faced bastard. And then only when pressed.

It really is a cultural divide and no mistake, sometimes I think he would have been better off marrying a mild mannered chinese girl, but of course then we wouldn't have the stunningly fragrant Wong Brothers who make up for anything, so stunningly fragrant are they. Apart from the older one who has the runs today.

hello twig and meg too

we've been here for two and a quarter feckn years now but MIL, who is a dear and can only be faulted in that she leaves decanted unmarked jars of dangerous chemicals knocking around the back yard, has not been in residence for a total of 17 months.

can you not just cut yer losses SW and buy your own house

say, in london

i really really really admire you suzy but i think 2 nd a half yrs is long enough

what would dh say if you said you wanted to move out

ahem....NP one of the main reasons we moved in with MIL was because we owned no property in London and had not a snowball in hell's chance of ever doing so. We were stony stony broke. Should have been shopping at Lidl but had a nice account with Ocado.

I want a moan and a rant, yes, but not about the actual having to live with MIL as I know it is a means to an end we shall all be very happy with, but the Oedipal element of being so much on top of each other with no privacy at all. That's the bit that makes me cross that he doesn't seem bothered by it in the slightest.

Oh, has she stopped muttering inscrutable things while wielding her kitchen chopper then?

it soounds to me like you feel it is never ending

get a written timetable for the wing? dates and more dates and things you can look forward to

set dates

written in stone

or sell the house and buy one that is bigger

HA!
she's possibly the most fantastically accomodating and non interfering MIL in the world. She does play chinese pop music at an excrutiatingly annoyingly low volume - too soft to appreciate and too loud to ignore - until midnight though. Maybe she thinks she's doing us a favour and providing a sound barrier against which we can heavily pet.

she sounds rather lovely

do you feel better having a small rant?

ROFL at "wong wing"

Yes NP good points, I think maybe that because there is light at the end of the tunnel I am becoming more sensitive to things. DH would just say that is my Ladie's Brain thinking too much.

my rahter shy friend from school has just emigrated to perth

i miss her loads

she now sends me emails such as "got pissed and burnt at the red bull races"

sorry about that

was just typing out loud

im sorry you are feeling like this suze

maybe you need another night away in a hotel just you and dh

My MIL would not want to live w/us.

yes thanks, I do feel better now

oh so your mate went to the races did she, it was rather hot that day, did she get pissed on Melbourne Cup day and all?

i dont think she was there by then

she only went a month ago

she is already moaning she cant get next to deliver to perth

!

Sw - have to say it would do my head in......I don't think it matters that this is the norm in other cultures, its how you feel...(do recall viewing houses where bathrooms were accessed through bedrooms, and there was obviously some kind of sleeping rotation going on - made me shudder...)...big sympathy

why do you have to live ina wing even
cant otu rent?

why do you have to live ina wing even
cant otu rent?