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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What would you think about this person...

28 replies

greenandblue · 10/07/2015 14:09

....after he had replied "I'm fucking busy stop being a CUNT" to a text I had sent him?

I had previously texted him to ask whether he could do something for me and he replied that he couldn't due to being so busy. I then stated in a non aggressive fashion that if he was so busy, why was he posting things on Facebook? He then sent me the above text.

:-(

OP posts:
Senada · 10/07/2015 14:12

What do you think of him? What's your relationship to this person? Does he usually call you a cunt?

Anon4Now2015 · 10/07/2015 14:12

Honestly? Calling you a cunt isn't very nice but you had no right to question why he was on facebook and not doing the things you wanted him to do. That's really controlling. To be honest I'd have probably sent you the rest of the text I just wouldn't have used the word cunt.

theconstantvacuumer · 10/07/2015 14:14

Is this a favour that he's doing for you or is it work that you intend to pay him for? If the former, YABU. If it's the latter, YANBU.

PushingThru · 10/07/2015 14:17

Who is he to you & what did you ask him to do?

Original poster
greenandblue · 10/07/2015 14:22

He's my ex (father of child) who I stupidly have still been carrying a torch for. However, receiving a text like that - I need to buck up my ideas don't I. That language pretty much proves there's zero respect there and I seriously need to move on.

The reason I mentioned about him being on Facebook was not to be controlling, but was raising the question about why he was doing non-work stuff if he was as utterly busy as he said he was.

OP posts:
Original poster
greenandblue · 10/07/2015 14:25

Sorry to drip feed (my brain's not functioning properly today) but the favour I had asked him to do was fairly trivial - just whether he could pick up a present for a child's birthday that my child is going to at the weekend, as he lives next to a shopping centre. I didn't mind that he couldn't do the favour - I only asked him because of the convenience of him living next to the toy shop.

OP posts:
CinnabarRed · 10/07/2015 14:33

Thing is - you may not have meant to have been controlling by raising Facebook - but controlling is exactly what you were.

I wouldn't have reacted well to your second text either.

But I wouldn't have called you a cunt.

Sleepsoftly · 10/07/2015 14:45

Torch extinguished now? You bet. [we need an empowered move on emoticon].

Oh, the mother of his child is a cunt. Hmm. You should never forget get or delete the message. Bank it.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 10/07/2015 14:45

I agree with others, it's none of your business what else he's doing, it's not his job to do you favours any more. Even if my current DP had reacted like that I'd have been pissed off, but if my ex had expected me to go shopping for him and then questioned how important it was that I was on here instead of doing it, I'd have thought he was being a cunt too. I wouldn't have said it, but then I don't often use the word, however, I'd have been fairly straight with him and told him to get off his arse and buy it himself.

Senada · 10/07/2015 14:49

He's my ex (father of child) who I stupidly have still been carrying a torch for.

Well there you go. Calling you a cunt is enough reason for you to douse that torch with a huge bucket of ice cold water.

Jedi1 · 10/07/2015 14:51

I would think he was a cunt.

wafflyversatile · 10/07/2015 14:53

It's not what I would have texted but I would have been thinking it.

Original poster
greenandblue · 10/07/2015 14:56

Thanks everyone. I wasn't sure whether I was being too 'sensitive' about him calling me a cunt. In actual fact, I'm glad he did now because it will feel a bit easier to move on.

Drip feeding again (not intentionally, my head's mashed today) but he is actually the one taking my son to the party, hence another reason for me asking him to pick up the present. From experience, I knew that if I didn't instigate one of us buying the present, it wouldn't get bought.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 10/07/2015 14:57

I'd think they were a cunt

KinkyAfro · 10/07/2015 15:04

Well I'd think he was a cunt and I'd also TELL him to sort the fucking present or he'll be turning up without anything.

Leave him to it.

The dick

PushingThru · 10/07/2015 15:07

So it wasn't a 'favour' to you at all, then. He is horrible & his reaction is a disgrace.

IAmAShitHotLawyer · 10/07/2015 15:49

It's not your problem if his dad takes him to the party without a gift

butterflygirl15 · 10/07/2015 16:05

block him on facebook and thank your lucky stars you are no longer with him. What a vile man.

Joysmum · 10/07/2015 16:17

I would agree with him.

A person can be busy and choose to have a little down time too without being given the guilt trip.

I'd go fucking apeshit if my DH decided to tell me I could not be busy with exam prep because I'm currently on Mumsnet in my break.

You sound like a nightmare. Shock

Norest · 10/07/2015 16:28

I'd think he was out of order for calling me a cunt and that i need to put out that torch i was still carrying because there is clearly no respect there.

And if he is taking your child to the party he gets the present.

Deeznutz · 10/07/2015 16:44

He's a grade A scumbag. He should be pitching in to help instead of fannying around on Facebook. He is a cockend.

Thank your blessings your no longer with such a gentleman.

Deeznutz · 10/07/2015 16:45

You're even.

Tulipsinmyvase · 11/07/2015 09:44

He was wrong to use that language but as someone else pointed out you need to take a step back and let him make his own arrangements for the present. When DC is with him, it's his responsibility to shop for a gift. In my experience if you start to 'organise' him with things like this he will go on to expect it.
And blow out that torch - no one with any kind of respect for you would reply in such a way x

TheStoic · 11/07/2015 13:37

*I would agree with him.

A person can be busy and choose to have a little down time too without being given the guilt trip.

I'd go fucking apeshit if my DH decided to tell me I could not be busy with exam prep because I'm currently on Mumsnet in my break.

You sound like a nightmare.*

Seriously? Seems ever so slightly harsh... Hmm

Block him on FB, OP. Do not communicate with him about ANYTHING other than absolute essentials to do with your child.

Original poster
greenandblue · 11/07/2015 15:55

Thanks for the input everyone (although the "you sound like a nightmare" comment" half made me laugh. It was a bit extreme). Yes, the fact he said that word to me in that way was just not acceptable.

I'm better off out of it.

I need to look forward now.

OP posts:
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