Tips for a happy marriage

[MsColouring]

I am getting married for the second time in December. First marriage was a disaster. Ex EA and I completely lost who I was. Feel I have got it right this time.

Was wondering from those who consider themselves to be in happy marriages (or long term relationships) what makes your marriage work?

A sense of humour.
Zero tolerance on disrespectful behaviours.
Teamwork.
Freedom to be yourself.

Separate duvets.

Committing to the right person,
accepting their bad and good habits.
Not expecting to change them

Friendship I think. Genuinely liking your partner as a person.

Separate interests and friends some of the time and not being jealous of these (unless real cause, of course). Same sense of humour. Some things in common. A willingness to let some stuff go.

A measure of understanding. different people tick in different ways, and having some insight into what makes your DP tick, and vice versa, is a fantastic relationship satnav.

I think liking each other helps. And just trying to make life easy for each other. No drama.

Him working 1 week nightshift out of every fortnight. I get the bed to myself.

Datenight. Doesn't even have to be out of the house. Just phones down and engaging and being a bit soppy.

And separate bathrooms...

Being each other's biggest supporter and champion

Being attracted to each other
Loving each other tons
Being patient with each other
Mutual respect
Fun times

Friendship. Admiration (not undue nor pedestal / awe). Joy in their company. Respect (always).

Similar values and beliefs
A sense of humour
Respect
Honesty
Trust
Fun

I'm not married but my new mantra (from Tony Gaskins) if its not worth splitting up over its not worth fighting over.
I like that...

Marrying the right person.

Having a cleaner.

Being good friends who are always kind to each other. Loyalty.

Communication

Being nice/kind to each other. In my past long term relationship we weren't always nice to each other. With DH, we always are. He's my favourite person and I never want to be responsible for hurting/upsetting him.

Oooh. I like flora 717 reply. I second that. And the cleaner. And separate sinks. And remember to hug. And never never go to sleep in a strop.

Allowing your husband/wife to work to their strengths, rather than trying to change them for your convenience. Being as polite with each other as you are with friends, including lots of thank yous!

Defo separate bathrooms. A cleaner. Send his shirts out for ironing.

Remember that you're hopefully in this for the long haul, so try to put those annoying little things into a long-term perspective.
Give grace.
Don't look to the other person to meet all your emotional needs.
Be kind whenever you can, little things, cups of tea...
Say thank you a lot, and mean it.

Equality

Separate bathrooms. Definitely.

That's what I tell all young people contemplating marriage ... Whether they want me to or not.

Definitely being kind to each other.
Having your own time and social life.

Doing things together that create nice memories.

Sorting out the practicalities such as chores and finances. Although it's not romantic, it helps to avoid resentment and accusations of nagging.