Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Have you ever felt lonely while being in a relationship?

27 replies

Inexperiencedchick · 14/06/2015 09:14

Would love to hear from MNs...

Have you felt lonely despite having someone in your life?

Have you felt that person you are with doesn't understand you, or doesn't see what you are going through?

Have you tried to explain them your insights and how you feel?
How did they react?

Thank you.

OP posts:
Brightonmumtoatoddler · 14/06/2015 09:21

YES! My ex made me feel so so lonely. I got ignored a lot, virtually no affection and not interested in my thoughts or feelings. Made me so depressed I ended it to get my self esteem and self worth back!

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 14/06/2015 09:23

I'm so sorry, hope you well now

OP posts:
Ouchbloodyouch · 14/06/2015 10:12

Yes I have. It wasn't a good relationship. I'm in a much better one now.

hesterton · 14/06/2015 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FredaMayor · 14/06/2015 12:49

Do you feel lonely because you do not feel you are getting what you need from the relationship? Can that change, or will you put up with it?
If your answers are yes, no and no I think you will sadly have your answer.

mrsmeerkat · 14/06/2015 12:54

I am married but probably more lonely .. dh is quiet and we dont have a social life and also I have drifted from friends since having two dc within the past 18months.

He is a good friend an good company but I have no good female friends - sad it is life
.

pugglefan · 14/06/2015 13:20

Yes, in my marriage now. It's an awful feeling.

givemehopehelpmecope · 14/06/2015 13:30

Yes! And I've just ended the relationship. Didn't start off like that, just gradually became like that :(

Isitmeagain · 14/06/2015 14:53

Yeas!! I ended my marriage nearly 4 months ago did to feeling lonely and not getting the affection I need to make me happy!! I had hoped that H would make some effort in this time but all I've felt is rejection even though he tells me he loves me and wants it to work! I have kept him at a distance so it is probably hard for him to do anything but I feel no effort had been made so am finally coming to the conclusion it's time to accept he is what he is and that I need to let go and get on with my life!!

Ragwort · 14/06/2015 15:01

I'm like hesterton - I actually prefer being on my own and after many years marriage am more than happy to do my own thing, we don't really share many hobbies/interests or friends. Grin. If I being perfectly honest I think my DH finds it 'lonelier' than I do and would love me to spend more time and attention on him. Sad.

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 14/06/2015 19:57

Yes Ragwort & Hesterton, I think the time spent alone is a necessity.
But I meant the feeling lonely even if you are with someone...

It's true, it might be mismatched needs and failing of the relationship itself.

Few time it crossed my mind that it can be due to us expecting the other to make us happy, where probably we should be happy in our own company first... What do you think?

Thanks FredaMayor, very good points :)

OP posts:
sportify · 14/06/2015 20:13

I've been married for 6 years and have 3 kids. I've never felt lonelier all my life. My husband is hardly ever around and works 24/7 and I'm a lng way from family and friends.
I live every day just wishing it was easier to get out. ??

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 14/06/2015 20:16

I'm so sorry Sportify, hugs and Flowers

OP posts:
JohnFarleysRuskin · 14/06/2015 20:16

Yes, and he was actually a very nice man, we were just incompatible on some deep level.

We split up.

sportify · 14/06/2015 20:19

Thanks Inexperienced, just wanted you to know you are not alone (if you feel it Wink Today, I think we'd surprised at how many people feel like us in what seems like a 'happy' relationship from the outside. X

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 14/06/2015 20:27

Thanks Sportify, I felt so a while ago...

I couldn't understand what makes me feel that way and why by even having a conversation with a person you don't feel close.

And here is JohnFarley's point we were just incompatible on some deep level

OP posts:
Mamamia321 · 14/06/2015 23:25

Yes I do because he is addicted to computer games and rarely takes the time to have an emotional connection with me anymore.
Been to relate but only really works of other peron can reflect honestly on their behaviour.
Love him and we still have sex and the odd date night. With two dcs who are
Poor sleepers and a third due any time now - not to mention he was madecrecundabt and starting a business -,going to wait I OU and we if improves when w are less stressed.
Can't say I don't fantasise about the early days of heady romance and adoration and yearn for more affection and interest though because I do get very bored and lonely. Marriage is a big deal To me though so will wait and see when th smoke clears.

Ladymoods · 14/06/2015 23:32

Yes, my EA husband isolated us from our friends and then excluded me from his life unless it was to cook for him and iron his clothes. He went out and stayed out every weekend whilst I was home with our two small children. I left him nearly four years ago and have been single since and have never once felt as lonely as I did when I was with him.

sportify · 15/06/2015 00:32

Lady, how did you leave? I mean practically? I feel stuck as I'm a Sa h m. And am dependant on him financially.

Ladymoods · 25/06/2015 14:42

So sorry I've only just seen this.

I moved in with my parents for a few months which was not ideal but their support made it easier for me to not go back to him (I didn't want to but he was bullying me in to going back and I fear I may have snapped). I then applied for housing benefit and tax credits as I work two days a week. It can be a struggle but we get by. Do you have a mortgage or are you renting? Whatever your situation, there is help out there. Make an appointment to see your local citizens advice bureau and they will give you all the information you need.

Don't stay alone and unhappy, there is a way to leave, you just need to find it. Stay strong x

Janette123 · 25/06/2015 18:02

"Have you ever felt lonely while being in a relationship?"

Yes.

I was married for 8 years to a selfish, moody man who did nothing about the house. I earned more money than he did (even though I worked shorter hours because had 2 little ones to look after). He refused to let us have a cleaner and begrudged me any time with friends. He spent each evening asleep in front of the TV after I had cooked a meal.

I was ignored, lonely and totally miserable.

After 7 years I put my foot down and said I wanted more out of the marriage. His response was to cheat with a girl from his work.

I threw him out and divorced him.

Being alone with all the responsibility was scary, but as I'd been doing most of it anyway it wasn't as bad as I feared. Even with him gone I never felt as lonely as I had done in the marriage.

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 26/06/2015 20:47

Thanks ladies... Flowers

OP posts:
Mumothree29 · 19/05/2023 17:24

Hi mum's looking for a bit of advice I feel like going insane I have with partner since 2008 and we were good but recently he's so secretive hiding his phone but recently he's take to a girl on strava tell her how good she doing on her runs and like her post which am not assed about it but it fact he's lies about it and makes out all in my head and she one the mums at school so I have face her everyday and today I found on his phone he keep looking at her Instagram and still still denied it please so give me advice x

DatingDinosaur · 19/05/2023 21:19

@Mumothree29 – not sure if you realise but you have resurrected an 8 year old topic about loneliness so other replies might be in response to the OP rather than you.

Might be best to re-post your question in its own right for more relevant advice.

My advice would be to dump him. He’s disrespecting you and rubbing your nose in it. He doesn’t care and it sounds like he’s doing it on purpose. No nice man does that. Especially when you’ve talked to him about it and he continues. Only cowards who haven’t got the balls to call time on a relationship like an adult do things like that.

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 19/05/2023 22:48

Yes. I feel like this most days in my marriage. I feel more lonely when we are home together than when I'm alone. He only talks to me to address my faults or things I haven't done. He doesn't even hold my hand or kiss me anymore. I feel he keeps me around out of loyalty to the kids as they are still young and for convenience. He's even said if we didn't have kids then he wouldn't be sticking around.

It's an awful situation to be in

Swipe left for the next trending thread