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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Revenge porn help

45 replies

Allbymyselfagain · 15/05/2015 16:02

I know ive been stupid. Ive been exceptional stupid. Ive just split up with my ex and he's now threatening to put nude photos of me online and send them to my family and colleagues. What can I do?

OP posts:
girlgamergoesbad · 15/05/2015 16:07

Did he say this to you via text? May be worth popping to the police and seeing if they can do anything if you have evidence he has threatened you but I'm not sure they can...
What a dick though, sorry you're going through this, hope someone can help Flowers

DrMorbius · 15/05/2015 16:08

Keep a copy of the threat. and contact the police.

www.gov.uk/government/news/new-law-to-tackle-revenge-porn

Quitelikely · 15/05/2015 16:09

Call the police

intlmanofmystery · 15/05/2015 16:12

Tell him he is breaking the law (Criminal Justice and Courts Act, 2015) and faces up to 2 years in prison...

letscookbreakfast · 15/05/2015 16:14

He will be breaking the law if he does, contact the police.

IggyStrop · 15/05/2015 16:29

Definitely contact the police. They take this sort of thing very seriously.

sparkdoor · 15/05/2015 16:33

How have you been stupid? It's not stupid to trust someone who later reveals what a shit they are. There is a law against this now. Go to the police.

SecondMrsAshwell · 15/05/2015 16:48

Please do go to the police. He's relying on you being afraid of him to mend his bruised ego.

Wishful80smontage · 15/05/2015 16:51

You haven't been stupid OP. He is being nasty piece of work and needs to be dealt with by the police. Please contact them ASAP and nip this in the bud before it causes you anymore distress

missqwerty · 15/05/2015 17:01

He's the stupid obe even threatening it as the police will take this very seriously. Call them!

Original poster
Allbymyselfagain · 15/05/2015 17:25

Ive got photo shots of the texts he sent. He's calmed down now and is saying he would never do that. I'll pop into the police station tomorrow in town.
Thanks for saying im not but I do feel pretty stupid. I even give these kinds of lectures to the teens i mentor. Once a photo is out there it's out there forever and so on and then it happens to me.
He has just changed his phone and the photos were via whatsapp. I know he deleted them off the old phone before Apple swapped everything to the new phone for him and I think whatsapp only holds 7 days worth of history if you swap devices. If there is nothing on his phone would i be accused of wasting police time?

OP posts:
Whatsforsupper · 15/05/2015 17:28

What a prize knobhead!

What type of man reacts to a break up by posting intimate pictures online?

Yes. Contact the police they take this very seriously he will end up being arrested. Rightly so too.

BalloonSlayer · 15/05/2015 17:34

If there is nothing on his phone would i be accused of wasting police time?

Well I'd imagine the police will be unsurprised by the cunning plan of deleting the photos . . . you have photo-shots of his texts with the threat. That'll be enough.

OhMrGove · 15/05/2015 17:43

I've been through this OP. It's terrifying. Go to the police, tomorrow. Keep copies of everything. Keep a diary of threats.

OhMrGove · 15/05/2015 17:45

Keep in mind that often things are automatically uploaded to the cloud.

The bastard who did this to me was scared by the police and my lawyers into not posting them but I know he still has a copy because of the bloody Cloud.

Bahh · 15/05/2015 17:56

Send him this link

edition.cnn.com/2015/04/03/us/califomia-revenge-porn-sentence/

Original poster
Allbymyselfagain · 15/05/2015 21:21

Thank you. He's now saying he definately wouldn't do it. But he wants me to give him another chance. It's all going to get messy I think

OP posts:
PattiODoors · 15/05/2015 21:48

Please don't enter into further contact or correspondence with him apart from to say it is over and you wish to be left alone thank you then delete/block

Do pop in to your police station for a chat anyway

ugh he sounds horrible, and pffft, as if you are going to be reeled back in by his change of heart. rolls eyes

FlabulousChix · 15/05/2015 21:50

Please call the police they will visit him and make him delete all he has. And in future don't let anyone take pics of you as don't send any it isn't necessary in a relationship and it leaves you vulnerable to cunts who will use it against you. Don't put yourself in that position

Lavenderice · 16/05/2015 11:06

Go to the Police and ask for PIN Notice to be issued. This will entail a visit from the police along with a written warning that if he contacts you again he will be arrested.

Vivacia · 16/05/2015 12:15

Send him this link

Why? Confused

Applecrumbling · 16/05/2015 12:20

Fuming for you..
What an idiot of a man.. He may well have threatened it when emotions were running high but you need to take these threats seriously and contact the police. Hopefully they will have a word with him and make him realise the consequences. This is controlling behaviour, get this sorted and run for the hills. Strength to you..

SecondMrsAshwell · 18/05/2015 09:54

The link is for a story about a man who ran a revenge porn site, rather than a man who posted revenge porn. He got 18 years for extortion, because he would charge victims $200 to take down images. Never mind the turds who posted the pikkies in the first place.

The trouble is today's handsome prince is tomorrow's arsehole.

Anyway, do let us know how you get on with the police...... If nothing else, best to log it and well done taking screenshots of the threats.

Original poster
Allbymyselfagain · 18/05/2015 20:42

I logged it with them but we talked and decided not to take it any further unless he starts the threats again.
He's been very remorseful since, sending me a few apology texts. Ive repeated that we are not longer together and that im sorry but after his threats I don't want to be with him. He's apologised a lot but thanks to my lurking on these boards I now a red flag when I see one!
I do feel for him because until the break up came out of the blue for him really but im still not relenting!
Thank you all for not making me feel more stupid

OP posts:
YonicScrewdriver · 18/05/2015 20:46

Good for you! Way to win someone's heart back - threaten them. What a bellend!

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