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Original poster

DH holding hand with DS aged 15

49 replies

Cheeseandhamtoast · 05/05/2015 16:04

Just that really.

If you were in a social situation and saw a middle aged man sitting next to his DS aged 15 and holding his hand, putting his hand on his leg etc, would you think it was lovely and affectionate, showing a lovely father/son bond. Or would you think it was strange.

OP posts:
hotblacktea · 05/05/2015 16:07

more context than that needed, but yes, it's strange.

Hussarsataparty · 05/05/2015 16:08

I'd wonder if he was being protective, I know a couple of teenaged boys with very subtle disabilities which mean they need a physical hand to guide them and keep them safe when they are out and about.

MrNoseybonk · 05/05/2015 16:08

Neither.
I might think it was unusual as children usually stop holding hands with their parents at a certain age.

notquitegrownup2 · 05/05/2015 16:09

Depends upon their normal relationship and how much touching normally goes on. Does sound unusual for these days, but without more context it is very difficult to judge

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/05/2015 16:09

I would think it is completely normal, but then we are a very tactile family and have a son with autism who sometimes needs a physical touch to 'root' him.

iwantgin · 05/05/2015 16:10

DS holds my hand sometimes (only in the house where no one else can see) but not out in public. I doubt very much whether he would hold ihs DF hand at all.

So, whose DH is it? And whose DS?

As hussars says, there could be more of a reason for it.

Fontella · 05/05/2015 16:16

I walked into Tesco behind a dad holding the hand of his teenage son who I would have put at about 14/15 while mum walked alongside. I don't know if the boy had learning difficulties or anything of that nature - visually he didn't appear to - just looked like your average young teen really, but I thought it looked really lovely to be honest.

I still hold my daughter's hand sometimes and link arms with her and she's 19!

Original poster
Cheeseandhamtoast · 05/05/2015 16:17

My DH and DS. DS has no social difficulties and they have a good relationship, it is my DH initiating it. I think my DS just enjoys it, is not embarrassed and has no reason to not encourage it. He is an affectionate person and he even strokes my DHs hand! Just looks a bit weird as he is almost a man now, and I don't want to mention my feelings to my DH as it will cause an argument.

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 05/05/2015 16:20

Umm, I wouldn't think anything bad about it...as in, untoward. But I would notice it and think it highly unusual.

Dosydoly · 05/05/2015 16:26

I'm not sure. On the one hand I had a dad that didn't give a f*ck about us so I think it might be nice to have such a close relationship but on the other my son is 15 and he'd lie down and die rather than touch any of us in public ShockGrin

TheoriginalLEM · 05/05/2015 16:30

I think its nice :)

lordStrange · 05/05/2015 16:33

I would think it was sweet probably. Unless your DS is an early developer and he is six foot tall and has a full beard.

Floggingmolly · 05/05/2015 16:37

Very unusual.

FiftyShadesOfSporn · 05/05/2015 16:37

My DS is 13, six foot tall (no beard though!) and takes my hand when we walk together.

MargotLovedTom · 05/05/2015 16:37

I'd find it a bit odd, but in the sense that I agree with KoalaDownUnder.

OnlyLovers · 05/05/2015 16:39

Unusual but sweet. I'd be more likely to think they had a strong father-son relationship than that there was anything untoward or weird going on.

Fifty, you and your DS sound so cute! Smile

Dumbledoresgirl · 05/05/2015 16:41

I would think it looked unusual but I would be a tad jealous too. I miss holding hands with my children.

crapfatbanana · 05/05/2015 16:46

Unusual but not dodgy.

jamaisjedors · 05/05/2015 16:50

Know several families like this (not in UK, in France) and am still secretly hoping the DS will be like that as they hit teenage (DS1 10 and still cuddly).

Not holding out too much hope though as I can't bear it when my mum touches me!

PeppermintPasty · 05/05/2015 16:55

My initial reaction is how lovely. I think it's just fine. I found my dad got more tactile as he got older, with son and daughters alike.

CheersMedea · 05/05/2015 17:01

Absolutely nothing strange at all. In many cultures this is common place.

It makes me really sad for society that anyone thinks it was a bit odd.

Joysmum · 05/05/2015 17:02

Perfectly normal for my family. I'm like it with my mum and dad and I'm in my 40's. Couldn't give a shit what others think.

My DH on the other hand only ever shook hands with his father until dad got sick then there was the occasional peck on the cheek after dad once commented that he had not been kissed in 10 years since MIL died. Dad was a very formal man, I'm a very informal woman and after getting that comment I'm glad.

GreatJoanUmber · 05/05/2015 17:09

Agree that it's sad so many find it 'odd'. If this was a mum holding her teenage daughter's hand, would you still find it strange? No? Double standards, anyone?

NKfell · 05/05/2015 17:27

This sort of thing always makes me think of my own family where I kiss my Mum and Dad on the lips, whether in public or not (I'm 26) and so do my brothers and sister.

I used to be embarrassed, I wanted to but was too 'worried' what others would think- now I couldn't care less.

Yes, I'd find it unusual (as in I'd notice) but, I think it's more a sign of the times and I actually think it's really nice.

Floggingmolly · 05/05/2015 17:27

No double standards, GreatJoan, I'd find it equally unusual if the daughter was 15.

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