DH holding hand with DS aged 15

[Cheeseandhamtoast]

Just that really.

If you were in a social situation and saw a middle aged man sitting next to his DS aged 15 and holding his hand, putting his hand on his leg etc, would you think it was lovely and affectionate, showing a lovely father/son bond. Or would you think it was strange.

[ASAS]

Feel a bit disappointed that the first response to OP was that it's strange. Hopefully the rest of the thread has reassured you that it's lovely, normal and frankly very important for all of us to express love, men, boys, women, girls... I have visions of mners trying to hold their teenager's hands now.

[sebsmummy1]

I think it's nice too. Please don't mention it to your DH, your son will pull his hand away if he doesn't want it to happen anymore.

[heyday]

We need more of this in the world. It is indeed quite an unusual situation but a very pleasant one. Your DS will decide when the time is right for this to stop. They just sound like a very loving, tactile father and son enjoying closeness with each other. Please don't say anything to either of them as it will spoil this bond and that would be tragic.

[BrokenBananaTantrum]

I'm 41. My mum is 69. I still hold her hand sometimes and I often link arms. My Dad died 12 years ago. I'd give anything to hold his hand right now. Wish I had held it more when I could.
I know that as you get older it somehow seems ok again and that as a teenager it might look unsual but I think it is lovely if they are both ok with it.

[Thenapoleonofcrime]

I wouldn't find it odd in the privacy of your own home, as you tend to be much more relaxed about bodies, cuddle up etc, but out in public, I probably would look twice especially if the boy was clearly a man, but then I really don't know anyone who wants to sit with hand on the leg of their teenager usually because the teens don't like that past a certain point. My dd (11) has asked that I call myself 'mum' in public (mummy in private) and she would be mortified beyond belief if I kissed/touched her in front of her friends, though we might hold hands the odd time in the street.

I think past a certain point, things like hand holding whilst walking along or cuddling in public does look odd with teens as it is typically romantic behaviour. Walking arm in arm doesn't look so odd because it's more usual between parents and children.

There's nothing intrinsically wrong, say, with a young 6 foot man holding hands with his mum walking down the street, or 18 year old dd sitting on her dad's lap, but you don't tend to see it- that's just social convention and not 'wrong' but you might look twice as it's not the norm.

[gildedcage]

I always held my dad's hand or linked arms until he died...I was 30 at the time. We even used to have a cuddle on the couch. Nothing untoward, just closeness. I miss that very much.

We were brought up to show each other physical affection. I am so glad really. None of us siblings have suffered body image issues nor are we stiff with our spouses or children.

I would say let them enjoy their closeness while they can, it is symptomatic of a close bond which can only be a good thing.

[daisychain01]

Please be kind to your DH, OP. As long as you don't have any concerns about his intentions, and it doesn't sound like you have any, then think twice about verbalising it in a way that might cause suspicions. Only saying that because of the risk of it being conflated as something sinister when it really isn't.

I just felt rather sad you have posted it here when there are no concerns at all.

[Branleuse]

My ds14 loves holding hands with me in public. He has ASD, but mainly hes just soppy

[Haffdonga]

I think it's strange but not for judgey reasons. I also think it's lovely.

Strange because having had a couple of 15 year old ds's myself, I know there is no way on god's green earth that either would have been seen in public holding either of their parents' hands. Nor have I ever seen any of their 15 year old friends holding their parents' hands.

I wish they would though and am jealous of all your lovely hand-holdy families.

[Weebirdie]

We're a tactile lot as well and I'd think nothing of what the OP described.

[ChaiseLounger]

Don't see it much but wouldn't give it a second thought. Saddened by some of the posts. Saying that, current 11 year old seems embarrassed by any public sign of affection atm - I still consider that normal.

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

Ah. So there's a back story?

[Fletcherl]

I saw this recently in a family I know. They had just had the news the dad was loosing his sight and the son sat next to him all evening and quietly help his hand.

[NCTimeAgain]

All hand holders in this family too.

[Mabelface]

Nothing unusual at all! My 16 year olds will hold hands, lean on us etc when we're in public. It's normal affection.

[Theas18]

Uh?

I often hold my teen /adult DS or DDs arm when out and about. I know it's me who wants it but they don't complain. Mind you I do wonder if it's out of pity or fear I'll fall over- poor old duck I am!

[NickiFury]

I can't see why anyone would think this is weird. My DS still holds my arm to cross roads and sometimes will grab my hand if we are walking along talking. He's 12. He is showing no sign of embarrassment and I hope he never does, though will follow his lead if he ever does want to withdraw a bit.

[Cheeseandhamtoast]

Ok thanks everyone. I put this on the relationships board and no one told me to LTB! I never thought it was strange of my DS, just of my DH - that maybe be was babying my DS and using him for affection, not taking account of how it might look strange to others.

[tilliebob]

I have an excellent photo of DH and ds1 last year -he was 15 and 6ft tall like his dad - hand in hand at York Railway Museum. I love the photo as ds1 is getting less tactile, especially in public. He will still hold our hands fleetingly and now goes more for random ninja sneak up behind you type hugs

So to answer the OP, I'd thing nothing of it as long as both parties looked happy enough

[peggyundercrackers]

I think it's fine, my nephew is a little like that with his uncle, they have a really good relationship and have got on very well since nephew was very young. Nephew is 19 this year and still comes in and hugs & kisses everyone then usually sits on someone knee and cuddles in, he's 6ft and quite heavy, just the way he is.

[Jakadaal]

I think it's lovely and shows how close they are. I also think what a nice man your ds will become - he most probably realises that his df wants this rather than him

[noddyholder]

I'd think it was lovely My son is 21 now and will hug us in public if he feels like it. On holiday I saw him put his arm round his dad as they walked to teh pub (he is taller than dp) and it looked lovely. Agree does depend on what teh norm is for you but its not that unusual in my friends families at all

[pocketsaviour]

In a lot of Western African countries it's common for men to hold hands while talking. I think it's nice.

[SevenAteNine]

Unusual. But who are we to judge whether that's a bad thing?

[Floggingmolly]

No double standards, GreatJoan, I'd find it equally unusual if the daughter was 15.