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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Where is this going?

29 replies

emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 16:40

I have a long distance relationship of 4 months and it has been going strong.. recently people have been asking if I have met his kids/friends and seem surprised when I say no. They also ask about whether we have talked about 1 of us moving closer and seemed surprised we haven't discussed it.

OH Had met my kids, parents and friends and although he visits 2 to 3 times a week never stays over.

I'm really beginning to doubt him but thought I'd get some unbiased advice

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 16:41

Youre taking things slowly and not rushing which is refreshing these days and I wouldnt worry at all! xx

MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 16:43

Having said that I misread your thread. Hate to even suggest but could he be married? have you been to his house? xx

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/03/2015 16:45

Not met his kids is fine. Not met any of his friends, he never stays over, hmmmmmm.

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 16:46

I have been to his house times. He is divorced x

OP posts:
Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 16:47

Should say 3 times. I went to his work Xmas party but since then nothing

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 07/03/2015 16:50

Why doesn't he stay over? Why did he meet your children so soon?

I sound like I'm questioning you! Grin

MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 16:54

Have you stayed over at his house?

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 16:54

I'm a single mum and boys see their dad but do not stay over. There is only my dad around and at 70 he will only have boys over night occasionally, so for ease and flexibility he met boys. I had been single for 3 yrs and too be honest I wasn't sure how to go about it all.

He says he doesn't stay as it wouldn't be right for the kids to walk in and find him asleep there.

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 07/03/2015 16:55

I'd think it was odd if you had met his kids after only 4 months.

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 16:56

I haven't stayed there as I have to be back for midnight as the girl I have as a babysitter stays till I get home.

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 16:56

Hate to say it babe but it sounds a bit fishy to me. I cant help thinking hes married, not divorced or got several women on the go at once Sad xx

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 16:58

That was my thinking too Confused

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 17:03

Is there any way you could do any fishing around without him knowing? Bless ya xx

DontKillMyVibe · 07/03/2015 17:12

It doesn't sound that fishy for a long distance relationship especially if you've been to a work do and stayed over at his. I can understand his reluctance after only 4 months of you not meeting his kids or having your kids see him in the morning.

How far away does he live from you?

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 17:30

About 70 miles one way. I've never done anything like this before its all new to be honest

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 18:22

I met my husband in very similar circumstances to yours. We lived 70 miles apart. Within 2 months I moved in with him and within 6 months we were married and expecting a baby. So many said it wouldnt work and we were rushing into things but here we are still together after 12 years of marriage and three children later. I must admit it was very fast so taking time is very sensible. Whats your gut instinct? did you have doubts before your friends said anything? x

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 19:25

No. I trusted him completely. I think now I just notice every little thing

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 19:43

What other 'little' things do you think are odd? sorry if it sounds like you are being grilled hun!. You sound like a lovely person thats all xxxx

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 19:49

Lol no its fine. It's good to get it off my chest!
This last week he has had less contact than before. 3 nights I didn't hear from him after 7 and although I know he was out or visiting people normally he would message on his return.
Usually if I worry about things I just ask but as we don't get much time together it seems so silly when I try and day things to him and I don't want to scare him off either. X

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 19:54

Who's he visiting, friends?. Is he on facebook or anything?

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 20:02

No one day it was his parents then he was at a gig then an evening with his son at the cinema. Just seemed odd he didn't message once he was home like usual.
He is not on Facebook, he's not a fan of social media lol

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 20:11

Are you on facebook? just wondered if he might be on there but told you he wasnt. How old are his kids? xxxx

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 20:12

Yes i am. I have searched. His kids are 15 and 18 x

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 07/03/2015 20:42

Are they on facebook?

Original poster
emmal3417 · 07/03/2015 20:59

I found one but his security is high so I can't see anything x

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