My partner says I have to give up alcohol. I barely drink at all - maybe a brandy and hot water to help me to relax and sleep every couple of weeks - but he will not tolerate this.
he is teetotal, and hates me seeing friends in pubs or anywhere where alcohol is served. and yet he is happy to down cokes in a workingmen's club which his father (who drank beer) belonged to, surrounded by other people drinking alcohol. he did not criticise his father who drank alcohol, or his best friend who is a heavy drinker. yet he says i have to give it up. it aappears it all has to be on his terms.
he is a good man in so many other ways, but is also given to bouts of raging insecurity where i am concerned if i don't return his texts quickly or if he does not know where i am. he is suspicious of my socia media accounts, and says I cannot have male friends as it looks 'improper'.
this morning is typical. he woke me at 5am, fuming, because he had been through my handbag and found a minature of brandy. i have to work today (yes really) and yet that did not matter. he also mistook a plastic cake decoration as 'mistletoe' which he then hid from me. the sad thing is it is my mother's xmas cake decoration, which i was going to return to her tomorrow. it is especially poignant as my father passed away this summer and the fact that my elderly mother had made a Christmas cake at all this year is amazing.
when i asked for it back, at first he said he didn't know where it was, then after a bit of badgering from me, he took it out of his bedside drawer and threw it at me.
i work hard at our relationship and am committed to him. and i have worked very hard to make our first xmas as a couple good with major compromises on my part as to when i see my children and my mother.
but it seems that that is not enough. what do i do?