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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

OMG! Work Crush

34 replies

crazylady30 · 23/12/2014 12:56

Ok, so I need to get this out of my head and see it in black and white.

4 months ago I started a new job, which I love and the people are lovely to, genuinely nice and enthusiastic, which was a bit of a change for me going from a really depressed de-motivated team, anyway, a couple of weeks after I started a new guy joined the team as an interim, he leaves at the end of January, he is lovely and I have developed a massive crush on him! I know he is single, so I could act on it but I dont want to make a fool of myself 

Sometimes I get the feeling he likes me as well, for example, when I go to the coffee shop in the building where we work, he comes with me (he doesnt when anyone else goes) , or when I just hand something to him or he hands me something our hands touch, and the touch seems to last a bit longer than it should (I know I sound like a soppy teenager!) at first I thought it was me maybe instigating the touch but I have sort of tested it out a couple of times and it is definitely him! He even tried to get us stuck in the lift together once (random I know!). He has tried to get me to join him in his out of work activities, volunteering and stuff, again, I dont know if he just wants free help!

But how do I tell him/let him know I like him without embarrassing myself, or how can I get him to give me a sign bigger than the small hand touches/finger brushing? It has been 7 years since my last (and only!) relationship ended and there has been no one! (I think I might end up a lonely spinster!)

Feel free to tell me to man up!

OP posts:

AuntieStella · 23/12/2014 13:01

This could be promising, if he really is leaving next month.

As you seem to know for sure that he is unattached, flirt gently and be ready to make a definitive move on the eve of his departure. Accept at least one of the invitations to see him outside your workplace, it might be easier to foster flirtation into early dating territory when away from the office.

Twinklestein · 23/12/2014 13:25

'Coffee, tea, me?'

LittleDonkeyLeftie · 23/12/2014 13:29

Ooh I love a good flirting thread.

Have you actually gone to any of his volunteering type thingies or do you keep turning him down?

As he is leaving this makes it soooo much easier as if you are left embarrassed you don't have to see him again

Try to see him out of work with one of the things he suggests. If it comes to it, can you not say "I will miss you when you are gone" in a cheeky half joking way and see what he says?

talbotinthesky · 23/12/2014 14:39

Just ask him if he wants to go for a drink or something, if he says no then the next time you see him just act like you normally do. Go on, lifes too short :)

Drumdrum60 · 23/12/2014 18:32

Definitely join him in the volunteering stuff with enthusiasm and see where it goes! If you are cheery and confident he won't be able to resist you. Sounds really promising.

WildBillfemale · 23/12/2014 18:37

*He has tried to get me to join him in his out of work activities, volunteering and stuff, again, I dont know if he just wants free help!

But how do I tell him/let him know I like him without embarrassing myself*

DER!!!!!!um here's a thought.......er join him in those out of work activities he's invited you to!!!!!!!!!

MadeMan · 23/12/2014 19:26

"But how do I tell him/let him know I like him without embarrassing myself,"

You can't really let somebody know you fancy them without letting them know that you fancy them. Don't think of it as embarrasing; try to think of it as you're taking control of things and you want him.

Join him on his activities.

GoatsDoRoam · 23/12/2014 19:32

Well this is an easy one: when he invites you to after-work activities, say yes. And one of you should then suggest a beer together after the day of volunteering or whatever is over.

albal14 · 23/12/2014 20:29

He invited you ? From a man's point of view that's a hint in the right direction. Do it.

Hatespiders · 23/12/2014 21:33

You silly sausage, the 'volunteer and stuff' activities were his way of testing the water and tentatively asking you out. Next time you see him just say, "Actually, I'd like to join you in that volunteering thing you do..."

Tinks42 · 23/12/2014 21:41

Just ask him if he would like to go for a coffee with you to discuss said activities? You are also free and single right?

Tinks42 · 23/12/2014 21:52

Im only saying this because crushes are either a very young thing to do or said by people in a relationship already, otherwise you fancy someone. Please forgive me if im wrong.

MadeMan · 23/12/2014 22:10

"He even tried to get us stuck in the lift together once"

Yes, all lifts need a stop/start switch like Gibbs' lift in the NCIS building for this very purpose. Or maybe a combination floor button code (Mezzanine, floor-3, floor-5, floor-3) that stops the lift for sexy time!

JollyJingle · 23/12/2014 22:12

If you fancy him time isn't on your side if he leaves in January! Just ask him if you could bring him a coffee as you are on your way to the machine, or some such very casual ploy.

If you are both single ask him out for a coffee or drink after work. He can on,y say no and you've lost nothing but a bit of self confidence, which will soon build up

Tinks42 · 23/12/2014 22:13

a sexy time lift? now theres a novelty.

Original poster

crazylady30 · 24/12/2014 00:01

Thanx all! I am single as well, but like I said I have never asked anyone out - I'm 32 and never asked anyone out - sad I know! I will absolutly use the "I will miss you when you leave" line :-)

I have started enquiries re volunteering but I will have to do it in my area, he covers a different region to me, but he did say if I join the international volunteer group I could travel abroad with him.

The lift didn't have a stop button :-( I wish it had!

I need to just do it don't i? He is back in the office in the new year, thanx for the advice all, I will update you on development - wish me luck! :-)

OP posts:

Notmeagain1 · 24/12/2014 00:08

Please just say YES thr next time he asks you to do anything. Volunteering is good, coffee, tea...you try to stop the lift.

An after work Christnas drink if you are working tomorrow. Would be an excellet Christmas gift to yourself.

Then come up date us.

Tinks42 · 24/12/2014 00:09

Im not sure you need to do it. He's a bit of a ditherer and would you want that? I personally like a man to be that. Ask for a damn date

Notmeagain1 · 24/12/2014 00:10

Xpost sorry no stop button on the lift. But ask him out. You can do it.

beaglesaresweet · 24/12/2014 01:01

I think he will ask you out anyway before he leaves, hopefully dithering only because you now work together. If he doesn't (with your encouragement), then I agree with Tinks, an annoying ditherer.

RandomNPC · 24/12/2014 01:28

Go for it! Keep us updated.

Original poster

crazylady30 · 24/12/2014 08:34

I wish he would just ask me out would save me the trouble :-) I would sooo say yes!

He is away for Christmas, i will be seeing him again on 5th jan, can't wait :-) any more tips on how to flirt with him will be appreciated. Like I said before I am out of practice!

OP posts:

MadeMan · 24/12/2014 08:50

I think you might be able to stop the lift if you try to force the doors open whilst moving, but it probably won't do your chances (or salary) much good when he sees you being frog marched to the office for vandalism and endangering lives.

beaglesaresweet · 24/12/2014 12:02

OP, re 'how to flirt - as someone sugested, tell him you'll miss him hen he leaves the job, and otherwise the usual, when you are having coffee together do the smiling and a lot of eye contact when face to face, maybe ask how long has he been single for (and whether he's thinking of dating now), all in a mildly playful manner.

beaglesaresweet · 24/12/2014 12:03

suggested

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