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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is my husband cheating?

48 replies

MumL11 · 14/12/2014 07:14

So, honest opinions please. My gut instinct says he is but want to get some feedback.

He was out last night, I get up with kids. Text on phone he left downstairs. Him "where are you". Other person "I text you" then "sorry I couldn't get away x".

Looked at call log and he's rang this person 21 times straight after another (obv not replying).

I rang it from his phone, eventually answered but hung up straight away without saying a word.

He's still in bed. Waiting til he gets up to confront him. Scared as if my feelings are right, the minute I confront him there is no going back. If I dont I can pretend I haven't seen this.

Help x

OP posts:
listed · 14/12/2014 07:18

Who answered when you rang?

Original poster
MumL11 · 14/12/2014 07:18

No one spoke.

OP posts:
listed · 14/12/2014 07:21

Did they get chance to, or did you put the phone down straight away?

LineRunner · 14/12/2014 07:22

What name are they saved under?

Original poster
MumL11 · 14/12/2014 07:22

No I waited coz I wanted to hear the sound of the voice e.g. Male or female.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumL11 · 14/12/2014 07:23

Stu

OP posts:
LineRunner · 14/12/2014 07:24

Was he meant to be out with a friend? Called Stu?

Original poster
MumL11 · 14/12/2014 07:24

I just can't see a man ringing another man that many times. It's just not like him. Also why would the other person not be able to get away. Sounds sneaky by both parties.
A big part of me wants to ignore it but how can I when he will be out loads over Xmas. I will send myself crazy.

OP posts:
listed · 14/12/2014 07:25

Why don't you text the number instead and see if anyone replies?

Something innocuous like why weren't you there last night?

MuttonCadet · 14/12/2014 07:25

It certainly looks bad, is the number saved in his phone?

listed · 14/12/2014 07:26

Either way I would hide the phone somewhere.

If he goes crazy looking for it when he wakes up that might tell you something.

Original poster
MumL11 · 14/12/2014 07:26

Yeah but they were all out as couples, I had to work so couldn't go. I checked contacts and there are texts from the stu in question under a full name and different number so seems suspicious.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 14/12/2014 07:29

Can you check with one of the other couples who was there? Was he there?

Original poster
MumL11 · 14/12/2014 07:30

I know he would be there. The times he rang this number was 30 mins before he got home. E.g. Left friends to "come home", tried the number, no reply, got food and came home.

OP posts:
FolkGirl · 14/12/2014 07:31

Doesn't sound good to me either.

But then I'm cynical.

But then that's because I've realised over the past couple of years that cheating is very, very common...

listed · 14/12/2014 07:35

Why not send a text and see if "stu" replies?

Something like "sorry you couldn't get away last night, what are you up to today?"

LineRunner · 14/12/2014 07:35

So it's not Stu's real number, he was on his own when ringing it repeatedly, and you rang it and the person didn't speak.

Yeah, odd. Very odd.

SquidgyMummy · 14/12/2014 08:03

Sounds like "Stu" is not keen on seeing your husband not that's any consolation

FunkyBoldRibena · 14/12/2014 08:45

Stu is obviously a false number...it's how I caught cheating in my relationship.

simontowers2 · 14/12/2014 08:54

I'd say 90 per cent likely of cheating. If you want proof though, dont confront him when he gets up. He will easily lie his way out of it. Just text the number.

HappenstanceMarmite · 14/12/2014 08:55

I'm afraid to say I think your suspicions are well founded.

rjay123 · 14/12/2014 09:05

Give the number a call whilst withholding yours (dial 141 before the number, if off a landline).

Are you on facebook? Type "Stu"'s number into the search box, and it will come up with the real owner, if they have a facebook profile linked to their mobile.

JimmyChoosChimichanga · 14/12/2014 09:11

When you confront. Make like you know a lot more than you do in order to draw him out and get the truth.

Original poster
MumL11 · 14/12/2014 09:20

Great advice. Typed it into Facebook and found out who it is!

OP posts:
Storytown · 14/12/2014 09:26

Ah, was it good news?

As Squidy says whoever they are isn't keen to talk to DH. As others have said it often seems from reading threads here that everyone's "at it" but my first thought when someone's avoiding someone is that there's a debt involved.