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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

relationship advice

34 replies

0121bcfc · 13/12/2014 13:05

ok here it goes been dating somone who i went preschool and secondary school,been on two dates which seemed to go well but she not texting as much she is busy but dont take two seconds to text i deleted her off my facebook to see her reaction to see if it will shock her ,which hasnt gone down well tryied calling and texting she only just replied she said she would talk later ? now i rele do like her stupid as it sounds and dont rele want to lose her so what is the best thing to do ? leave her to text me ? or text her later ? or call her ? any advice is welcome

OP posts:

badbaldingballerina123 · 13/12/2014 13:08

Deleting off Facebook is childish. It's not a good idea to play games with people or to test them. You sound very full on after two dates.

Original poster

0121bcfc · 13/12/2014 13:10

i know :/ well the dates went well i stayed at her we had sex

OP posts:

SassyPasty · 13/12/2014 13:14

She's not that into you.

As for whingeing about not texting, well that's just pathetic and screams 'needy'. Add to that your hissy fit of deleting from Facebook do you really think she's going to find that attractive? I'm guessing you are young - late teens? Learn from this and move on is my advice.

something2say · 13/12/2014 13:22

I never want to text that much at the beginning. It's too much too soon.

You have pushed that too far now with the deleting off facebook. That bodes bday on your part.

I'd shut up and see if she makes a move and texts you. And otherwise, concentrate on other things in your life. There's more than romantic love you know x

badbaldingballerina123 · 13/12/2014 13:22

I too wondered if you were quite young. Dates are simply dates , they are try outs, interviews if you like. She might not want a big relationship and you will have to tone it down in future I think. Just learn from it.

magpieginglebells · 13/12/2014 13:26

You sound really needy. You've only ben on two dates. If it's meant to be it will progress but hounding her won't make you look attractive to her!!

Primadonnagirl · 13/12/2014 13:29

Grow up. Learn to spell. Talk to people rather than living your life through social media.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 13/12/2014 13:30

Christ, you sound like a nightmare

I'd be running a mile if I were her

magoria · 13/12/2014 13:32

You have been on two dates and have already started deleting her off Facebook to see her reaction!

Two dates is not a relationship.

After two dates if she wants nothing more to do with you that is her total right. All you can do is one text to let her know you like her and would like more. The ball is then in her court and if she doesn't respond it wasn't meant to be.

Deleting off Facebook to get a reaction is immature.

You seem too intense for two days that will make many women give you a wide berth.

Windywenceslas · 13/12/2014 13:33

^^ YY to this. You sound like a nightmare. Sorry.

magoria · 13/12/2014 13:33

*two dates

Original poster

0121bcfc · 13/12/2014 13:33

thanks for your messages ,but can you please read what i put ? seem to missing that how long ive know her

OP posts:

Nirvisna · 13/12/2014 13:37

You are being far too needy, and will push her and every other woman you may meet away by doing this. Let her text you when she can, she may be busy. Deleting from facebook is beyond childish - it's irrelevant how long you have known each other, you cannot act this way, it isn't healthy.

SassyPasty · 13/12/2014 13:37

So you'd have had a go at her about texting before you started dating?

Honestly, if she were interested she'd be returning texts. Pound to a penny your 'talk' later will be her saying she wants to go back to just friends.

paleviewofhills · 13/12/2014 13:39

How old are you? How old is she?

The length of time you've known her is irrelevant, really. You've been on two dates, shagged, and now you're playing silly mind games with her because she's not texting as often as you'd like?

CheersMedea · 13/12/2014 13:39

Read this for advice about texting. It's for women complaining about men texting but applies to you too.

www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/guy-doesnt-text-back/

It's very needy complaining about texting. Also texting is a very "personal preference" thing. Some people like it; some people don't. If I'm v. busy I won't look at my phone.

Re: Facebook deleting

Serious question - how old are you?

It was a very childish thing to do but whatever your age, not likely to have the result you were after.

If you are a bit older, plenty of older people on Facebook use it very rarely. Personally, I wouldn't notice if someone deleted me from Facebook. I don't used it to chat, I use direct email.

If you are younger, she probably has 1000+ friends and may not notice until she wants to look at your page/message you - which if you are text communicating she may not pick up on for a while.

As to advice, you have lost a lot of ground here by being very needy. I would back off for a bit.

And just be a bit cooler.

Once enough time has gone by, maybe leave it til after Christmas, ask her out for a date. But be casual and relaxed about it.

Original poster

0121bcfc · 13/12/2014 13:40

no because she would text me daily ,just seems recently she dont ,look we all make mistakes i am a nightmare ive had mental health issues trying to beat my demonds just want advice to save the one thing in my life i want most

OP posts:

Original poster

0121bcfc · 13/12/2014 13:42

just to add ive also beat a gambling addiction that nearly ruined me

OP posts:

magoria · 13/12/2014 13:44

If she doesn't want you it makes no matter if you want her.

To harass her will turn you into creepy stalker harrassing guy not someone she may want.

You may even lose any friendship.

Original poster

0121bcfc · 13/12/2014 13:44

update she just added me on facebook ?

OP posts:

SassyPasty · 13/12/2014 13:46

So the texting dried up after you had sex? Maybe she has realised this was a mistake and wishes to put a little distance between you?

You may want her but you can't make her want you I'm afraid. See what she has to say later - listen to her and don't for goodness sake make her feel responsible for your mental health.

CheersMedea · 13/12/2014 13:47

How old are you and how old is she? You didn't answer the question and its relevant

Original poster

0121bcfc · 13/12/2014 13:48

shes 22 and im 24 id never make anyone responsible for my mental health not now not ever its my problem nobody elses cant stand people who do

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magpieginglebells · 13/12/2014 13:52

You're 24 and you're messing around deleting on FB? If you want an adult relationship then act like an adult.

paleviewofhills · 13/12/2014 13:53

When you say 'the one thing in my life I want most' do you mean her specifically or a relationship in general?

I'm going to guess that you've liked this woman for a long time? Unfortunately she may not have quite the depth of feeling for you as you have for her. You do need to back off and give her a bit of breathing space.

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