Brother demanding money

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I am fed up of my brother constantly asking for money from me and not accepting no as an answer.

The backstory is that we have no parents or other close family. I work and he lives on benefits. I do not want this to turn into a benefits bashing thread. I want him to understand that just because someone works it does not mean they have loads of money. He regularly calls me but only to borrow money.

A couple of days ago my brother calls me asking to borrow money. I say no I am skint I don't have any money. He goes on and on the that his child needs milk and will scream if she doesn't have a bottle for bed and that he only needs £20/30. He then asks about overdraft! I explain that I am right up against my overdraft limit as I have had to pay £1k of unexpected bills this month he then asks if there is any way I can use one if my credit cards! I explain that credit cards don't work like that!

He then goes on about his birthday and could he have money for that. I had already explained earlier in the month when he text me asking what I was going to get him for his birthday that I didn't know if I could get him a present this month as I am so skint.

I think you need to stop giving him money completely.

He isn't going to stop asking while he even occasionally gets some.

If he knows he will never get cash then it will be painful at first and he is likely to strop, but in the end, he will learn that it is pointless asking.

And don't fall for this his only blood relation crap. If you mattered that much to him, he'd not be seeing you as his cash cow, he'd be seeing you as his sister.

You need to be strong. You need to tell him that you are not going to give him any more money so he needs to stop asking. And you need to follow that up by saying no until he believes you!

I would text him and say no more money is going to be coming from me to you. End of. If he doesn't contact you again you will know he only wanted you for your cash.

If he contacts you being abusive just ignore, if he's polite, respond. If in the future he is asking for money just ignore or direct him to a food bank.

He needs to take responsibility for his own life and if he is regularly spending all his benefit money without providing adequate provision for formula then he needs reporting to ss. I mean doesn't he get tokens for formula?

Yes he does get milk vouchers but apparently they had not arrived in the post.

I also find it suspect that the 'milk crisis' occurred on the day that an update to a well known game was released which he plays costing £30.

The Asda click and collect was an excellent idea but they only do orders of over £25.

Have blocked him as am having major stress at work and have GP's appointment in the morning to discuss a health concern so can't deal with any more stress at the moment. Funnily enough after moving away my depression cured itself within a year.

He does have form for this and has previously 'disowned' me as I refused to give him £200 to pay his phone bill.

Also have to hide on FB as if I dare spend £20 on a night out for my birthday then I am a bad sister for not giving him money. If I go on holiday then poor him he can't go on holiday, etc. I live in a 2 bed box house and work 60 hours per week so it's not like I'm living in a mansion with a merc on the drive and take 3 foreign holidays per year!

You need to tell him that you're not a cash point machine!

How old is he OP?

He is in his 30's

He is clearly using his child to put pressure on your. In cases like this, and if he lives close enough to you, I'd buy some milk and drop it off at his house. No more, no less. The child won't suffer (if the story is true in the first place) and your brother might stop asking for money when he can't spend it on something else.

That isn't a brother, that's a leech.

In his 30s and thinks the term 'only blood relative' translates to 'bank'. Wow.

If you've got a spare 4 hours and are suitably pissed off enough to do it, buy the milk, drive the 100miles to deliver it to his door, tear the little shit a new one for his behaviour then drive home. Nothing tells someone how disgusting their behaviour is like a 200mile round journey to point it out.

But then, I've been known to go to extremes to prove a point .

perfectstorm wrote something that hits the spot:

I will never fathom why blood alone should mean you're forced to let people hurt you over and over again, as long as they aren't physically or sexually abusive. It makes no sense. Life is too short to let bad/damaged people screw with you, no matter who they are, unless they are your own kids. You don't owe anyone else your unconditional love and time.

Would you give anyone else money in this way?

Being family does make some difference but he's taking the piss and more.

Keep him blocked. You don't need this shit, you really don't. It's awful for his baby but I think you have to hope that he's lying when he says he can't afford milk.

Or offer to take the baby in, if he can't find the money to feed her, or to contact SS. That should shut him up.

He needs £20-30 to buy milk? What's he gonna do, get a fucking cow?

Meerka Nail. On. Head.

Tell him you will inform SS that your DB and his partner are struggling with managing their money and prioritising their child.

That should put a stop to it!