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Original poster

Can my husband cash a cheque in my name?

31 replies

aermingers · 30/09/2014 18:24

I got a tax rebate in cheque form last week. I put it in my handbag to deposit next day and it's disappeared. I do have a two year old who likes to root in my handbag, but he wouldn't have moved it far and should have been easy to find if my toddler had it.

My husband is in a lot of debt. I always wear a baby G watch as I like to cover a scar on my forearm. About a month ago my watch went missing. I bought a new one and two days later that went missing too. I'm pretty sure he pawned both of them as the boxes they came in mysteriously disappeared too. I can't find them anywhere. But the old broken valueless watch I have hasn't been touched.

Anyway, now this cheque has gone too, it went out of my bag before I left for work the next day. I supect he has stolen it. We don't have a joint account, would he have been able to cash it if it was in my name?

OP posts:
TurnOverTheTv · 30/09/2014 18:25

No x

MildDrPepperAddiction · 30/09/2014 18:28

No. It needs to be lodged into an account in your name.

InfinitySeven · 30/09/2014 18:28

Without a joint account, or access to an account in your name, he won't have been able to cash it at a bank.

He may well have been able to cash it at a cheque converter type place though. Some may require ID of yours - a passport/driving license/letter in your name, but others are a lot more lax. My mum used to cash cheques there in a variety of names.

It sounds like you have a bigger problem than just the cheque, though. If your husband is in debt that is bad enough to steal from his wife, he's probably covered in defaults, and that will affect your credit file too if you are financially linked in any way. I'm financially linked to my partner purely because the estate agent did a joint search when we moved in together.

Has he considered speaking to a debt charity? It'd be less stressful than stealing from family members, one would think.

PattyPenguin · 30/09/2014 18:33

Could he have paid it in through a cheque deposit machine at the bank? I don't know how strict the checks are on these transactions.

Or do you have the same surname? (I only ask because not every married couple does - me and my husband for a start.) If you do, tellers at the counter don't always check names / initials as well as surnames, particularly if the branch is busy at the time.

Can you contact the branch where his account is held? It's not always easy to speak to branch staff over the phone, as you often just get a call centre. You might have to go into the branch when it's open and ask to see someone senior.

I'm very sorry. This doesn't look good to me.

magoria · 30/09/2014 18:38

If he has done this or not why are you married when you clearly think he is capable of this?

Are you worried that if you divorce his debt will become yours? How has he run up his debt?

Original poster
aermingers · 30/09/2014 19:27

I don't know how he ran up his debts. He doesn't take drugs or drink, he doesn't gamble and he's not away from home enough to have an affair. He's just crap with money and can't budget and he takes credit to get himself out of a sticky spot and it's just escalated.

I suffer from bipolar disorder and there are times when I really struggle with everyday tasks and I don't think I would cope without him. I would be worried my son would end up in care because my husband really does support me with that. Plus I have no family for support. He's not a bad person just a very foolish one.

OP posts:
TeamScotland · 30/09/2014 20:20

Banks don't even check surnames. I deposited a large cheque with my married name on it into an account in my maiden name. Bank was not aware I'd married etc.

Littlef00t · 30/09/2014 20:40

TeamScotland, not all banks check, but some do like the one I bank with.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 30/09/2014 20:44

Do you have any mental-health support workers helping you?

It's my understanding that there has to be quite serious neglect or abuse before social workers will even dream of taking a child away from their family. You having MH problems doesn't necessarily mean your child is suffering or will suffer neglect or abuse.

Given that he's got debt problems and you fear he's stolen from you I wonder quite how much real support he's offering you.

1FluffyJumper · 30/09/2014 20:49

Phone the bank and report it lost or stolen. They can 'stop' a cheque.

TeamScotland · 30/09/2014 20:58

What does he say when you tell him about the missing watches and cheque?

Contact the tax office and get them to cancel the cheque and issue a new one. If it is too late for that, you need to contact the police.

Tyzer · 30/09/2014 21:06

Have you actually asked your husband about the watches and the cheque?

Bogeyface · 30/09/2014 22:18

How much money are we talking about here?

I mean I know it shouldnt matter on the amounts, but £50 would be a lot different to £500.

CocktailQueen · 30/09/2014 22:20

Talk to. Him! Ask him! I couldn't live with someone i thought was stealing from me...

firesidechat · 30/09/2014 22:24

He's not a bad person just a very foolish one.

I don't know, that sounds more bad than foolish to me, but obviously you know him best. To potentially steal 2 watches and a cheque isn't accidental or even spur of the moment. He had to have planned that.

Ask him.

Isetan · 01/10/2014 06:54

Why haven't you confronted him? It says a lot about your relationship that your H repeatedly steals from you and you don't ask.

If you intend staying with this man (which isn't a recommendation), you must start locking up your valuables and obtaining regular credit reports to check that he hasn't taken out credit in your name.

Your perceived dependancy makes you vulnerable to this thief.

gamerchick · 01/10/2014 07:02

Ring up the tax office and get the checked stopped and another one issued.

I agree about checking your credit score and invest in a safe to bolt to the bottom of your wardrobe.

Longdistance · 01/10/2014 07:04

He's stolen from you. You make it sound normal in your post.

This is not normal. He's stealing from you :(

Original poster
aermingers · 01/10/2014 21:14

One of the watches turned up last night. But he had some money then so he could have taken it out of hock. He denies taking the watches or the cheque. I rang the Inland Revenue today and asked them to send out a replacement cheque, if it's been cashed already they will tell me.

He's always been a bit crap with money and doesn't have a good credit rating.

But in his defence the reason why this started was because while I was on mat leave (only had maternity allowance as I got pregnant the week before I started a new job) he had his leg badly broken in an accident at work and we had no income except for statutory sick pay as he is self employed. Social security put every single obstacle they could in our way of claiming housing benefit or council tax benefit and it was a very tough time. He borrowed money to get us through that time and he's just compounded it since then.

I guess I will know for sure what to do when the inland revenue either reissue the cheque or tell me it's been cashed.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 01/10/2014 21:23

How can you possibly stay living with a man that you suspect is stealing from you. He shouldn't be stealing anything. Ask him where the cheque is and then report it missing.

magoria · 01/10/2014 21:42

So your H borrowed and got into debt while you were on maternity leave and he had a broken leg. He is stuck with the debt but you have money to buy a new watch.

Where did the watch turn up?

It seems a little unfair that you are not pooling resources to sort out a debt that was incurred to support the pair of you.

Bogeyface · 01/10/2014 21:59

So your H borrowed and got into debt while you were on maternity leave and he had a broken leg. He is stuck with the debt but you have money to buy a new watch.

I was thinking this. If he was borrowing to pay rent and bills then morally at least you have a responsibility to help clear it. He did not create this debt, you both did. It seems like you expect him to sort things out and then leave him to it when he fails.

You just went out and bought another watch rather than address why he may have felt the need to take the first one? Something is very wrong here, and not least the fact that he has a fucked up credit rating and is "not good with money" when you have enough in the bank to go out and replace your (what £50 ish according to Google?) watch without blinking.

Oh and pawning a £50 watch will get him about a tenner.

Bridezilla3521 · 02/10/2014 11:23

To pay a cheque into a bank account, the account name has to match the name on the cheque. Some banks will accept cheques of amounts less than £50 if you have recently (less than 4 weeks) changed your name but you would have to take proof I.e change of name deeds or marriage cert. And even in that case, if would need to be the actual person who's cheque it is that would need to be there! There is no other way it could be done through a bank. Cheques deposited through a machine are still processed by a person.

And I work in a bank.

My guessing would be that he has cashed it elsewhere. Still find it hard to believe!

Was it a large amount?

TeamScotland · 02/10/2014 11:48

I paid a large cheque made out in my married name into my bank account which was (and still is a decade later) in my maiden name. Two very different surnames. I said nothing to the teller and the cheque was processed normally. I certainly didn't show him marriage certs. When I think about it, it is something I've done more than once.

Bridezilla3521 · 02/10/2014 12:59

Teamscotland - well they are not quite following the basic rules in their job then. I'd question it. Look it up if you like.