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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

DH wont eat the food I cook!

48 replies

Justeat · 28/03/2014 13:27

Very fed up. I cook dinner and dh goes to his mother instead of coming home to eat with us.
He is home by 7 or so.
He knows I am making dinner.
Am sick of his comments about my cooking, family and friends all say I cook well, including his mum!
What wuld you do?

OP posts:

Ivehearditallnow · 28/03/2014 13:28

How is his cooking?

Maybe it's time to find out x

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 28/03/2014 13:29

I would ask him to cook on alternate nights, and go off to your mum's on a few of his nights.
I would also ask his mum for some of his favourite recipes.

Or possibly, just stop cooking for him.

JeanSeberg · 28/03/2014 13:30

Tell him not to bother coming back from his mum's.

Fuckeroo · 28/03/2014 13:31

Is he from an African culture?

I only ask because this is the third or fourth thread I've read the same, recently. I wonder if it's a thing?

Ploppy16 · 28/03/2014 13:32

Just cook for you and any DC's you have and eat earlier if possible? If he's purposely excluding himself from your evening meal make damn sure he doesn't get a whiff of any food in your house! Cheeky fecker, is it not up to his standards?

Ivehearditallnow · 28/03/2014 13:33

I think you get mummy's boy everywhere...

Seriously OP. Just stop cooking for him.

Or if you have the spare £ just leave a note 'me and the kids have gone for pizza... see you later'... he'll soon feel left out x

AdoraBell · 28/03/2014 13:33

Why is his DM still cooking for him? If he were my son I'd advize him To Get home in time for dinner if I knew someone was cooking. Has he told her you don't cook?

Either tell him To move back in with Mummy or stop cooking for him on the basis that he eats elsewhere.

whatdoesittake48 · 28/03/2014 13:36

have you spoken to his Mum. tell her that you are preparing meals at home for him and that him being there is leading to wasted food and problems.

Would she be receptive to that or is she the sort who loves to feed her little boy...

Ivehearditallnow · 28/03/2014 13:37

So sorry to ask... is he definitely going to his mothers?

If so, why aren't the rest of you invited?

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 28/03/2014 13:37

what does his mum say about this? Why on earth does she put up with it? Was he like this before you married?

Nomama · 28/03/2014 13:38

Let him.

And tell him you are going to your mates for sex, as you don't like the stuff you get at home!

HavantGuard · 28/03/2014 13:41

I'd leave an overnight bag out for him. If he's eating there he might as well sleep over too.

Original poster

Justeat · 28/03/2014 13:44

His mum confirms that he is there, I've heard him in the background.
Am thinking of putting the food in a box and taking it to her house, what wuld that acheive?
He can and does cook.

OP posts:

Quinteszilla · 28/03/2014 13:47

His mum must be so pleased and proud.

Do you have children? If you dont, I would suggest leave him, as he will never cut the apron strings.

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 28/03/2014 13:51

Or could you get into cahoots with his DM, and secretly cook a meal round her house, for her to serve as her own, and see if he spots the difference?

ghostwritten · 28/03/2014 13:54

Justeat
How long have you been married and how long has this been going on?
His mother should support you and refuse to feed him. Or invite you also; then no cooking or food bill. lol.
What's his cooking like?
Eating together is an important social interaction, I would be really fed up about this and know it would affect every other aspect of my relationship with my him.
While you are trying to sort this I would stop cooking for him as there is no point and its a waste of time, effort and food.

Original poster

Justeat · 28/03/2014 14:00

He then brings food home for ds from her!
Have told him not 2 bring.

OP posts:

Quinteszilla · 28/03/2014 14:00

so he is teaching your child that your food is no good.

What a prick.

ghostwritten · 28/03/2014 14:02

Think Middleaged suggestion is a good idea. Maybe do it for three straight days if it is practicable.
However maybe it has nothing to do with the food and more to do with attachment to his mother's apron strings?

SanityClause · 28/03/2014 14:16

This is really rude, and both he and his mother know that.

Have you spoken to him about it? What does he say?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/03/2014 14:18

You've got put your foot down and tell him to grow the fuck up. You, him and DS are supposed to be a family. What kind of marriage is it if one person is always sloping off to Mummy's for his din-dins?

RiverTam · 28/03/2014 14:24

why is his mum cooking for him - she knows he has a home to go to! She's totally enabling this, she should be sending him on his way with a flea in his ear, not pandering to this bullshit!

Frizzbonce · 28/03/2014 14:27

Nomama

Cotherstone · 28/03/2014 14:29

He's a child. It might seem like a minor issue to him but it's not.

I'd be telling him that it is perfectly simple. He is part of a family, and so he needs to participate in planning and cooking and eating dinners as a family.

If he doesn't stop, cooking and shopping for him. Don't buy any of his particular foods etc.

He's acting like a child and to be honest, I think I'd almost be tempted to act like one too. If he doesn't like your cooking I'd stretch that to assuming he doesn't like your housekeeping, so the washing doesn't get done...

JeanSeberg · 28/03/2014 14:29

How can you even be bothered to put up with this shit OP?

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