Sexual Fantasies, should you share them with your partner?

[BeetrootOldDeer]

Having a chat with a male mate last night and he reckons that we should all share out sexual fantasies with our partners. Infact men will usually fancy one of our mates and we should allow them to admit this. And this will bring out a wonderful side and excitement.

I said that I really don't want to know that he fantasies about shagging my best mate form behind. I would not mind if he had fantasies about Nicole Kidman but not my mates.

What do you reckon???

I honestly don't mind my dh talking about who he thinks is sexy, eg in the playground. He knows who I find hot and I know who makes him frisky. We gossip about people in this way. It's not like we're going to act on it.
I usually approve of his choices. He's often confused by mine. If anything it helps our sex life because it keeps the subject of friskiness on the agenda, if that makes sense.

DP says:

"If I am looking at ladies in the buff and get a bit horny and need to have a tommy-tank - I always think of you. How do I know what it feels like to be with any of them? But I know how it feels to be with you and it's bloody good"

Awww.... sweet in his own little way isn't he!?

I've the pleasure of knowing a couple who take the "would ya?" game to another level and discuss, in great detail, why they would shag X but not Y.
(For anyone who remembers, these are the hand-paddlers. And she is the one who, with a straight face, told me she hoped her sex life was like a porn movie.)
TBH I think it's a bit sad and odd that they spend so much time on the subject. It does nothing to make people comfortable in their vicinity (because she - though not he - is happy to tell people that they do this). But maybe I'm being uptight.

I've been on the recieving end of the "My dh really fancies you" thing three times - as I type this, I find it unbelievable, frankly, I am such a midden - and it made me really uncomfortable. What was I supposed to say? "Oh, that's nice, tell him I'd do him too?" Weird.

Pruni, you are The Swingers' Choice

nicole kidman?

i fancy monica bellucci, among others, but she is my fave

exh once told me he fancied one of my friends, but i thought he had good taste, i wasn't bothered at all, but i don't think i am a typical example

i guess i might have been more bothered if she were more local , or he saw her a lot, i dunno

i still dont see what there is to gain by it

it was before we split btw

It's the Vest, FZ. What can I say?

ha ha at Swingers Choice!

there's a diff though between idle speculation/chit chat (i.e. "I quite fancy him/her") and sexual fantasies isn't there?
a massive gap, surely?
I would certainly engage freely in the former (i.e. discussion about whether someone is attractive or not, and why) but the latter is a BIG no-no imho.
btw Franny, why do you think it is disrespectful?

Erm, I asked myself the same question earlier, actually, and decided it was because I wouldn't like it if they did, so it would be disrespectful to me. I make my views quite clear on this early on in a relationship. You know I have a little problem with sharing HC :)

harnmonica, absolutly. my matre was advocating full descriptions

ah, I see. I thought you meant disrespectful to the one being goggled at .
yes, if you didn't like it, obviously it would be disrespectful. It's interesting though, isn't it? what other people find attractive. it's just gossip, really. and I like to hear what men find attractive, as it is so often different to what women find attractive isn't it?

nonono Beety bad shit.
e.g. yes I would like to come all over your friend's face??!!??
madness, pure madness.

Well no but I do find it disrespectful to hear men speak about women as if they are pieces of meat.

Of course when I talk about a man like that I am purely being a post-modernist post-feminist post-ladette empowered woman

pmsl at cum all over friends face.....

Also I am quite happy in my delusions about what it is men find sexually attractive, viz:

kindness and kooky intellect
nice sparkly shoes
an ability to eat meals bigger than my own head

ah yes much depends on the tone of course.
I mean phwoar look at the tits on that?
er, no.
but assessing someone's atractiveness needn't be objectifying, I don't think.
though I am a notorious lech

yes beety I was thinking of trying it out on dh just now.
"you know that Glyn off Big Brother? I quite fancy sitting on his face"
just to see what he might say

good idea.and then he can tell you that he wants to take your best mate upthe arse

lol @ sitting on face

so rude!

franny you are confusing MEN with TODDLERS

pmsl MP

I knew I was going wrong somewhere

actually franny many men of my acquaintance are attracted to those things
esp in combination with splendid tits/nice legs

Ah I wouldn't know about that :(

franny you have lovely legs